Sakura ate every bite. She didn’t relish the idea of Hobi having to carry her anywhere. He was a super slender guy. He didn’t need to be weighed down by her large self. She wiped her mouth with the linen napkin and stood up.
“Hobi, can I use your bathroom before we leave?”
“Sure! It’s right there.” He pointed, and she crossed the room, slipping into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.
She leaned against it, her eyes connecting with those of her reflection. She hadn’t done it very many times, but in extreme cases, she had made herself vomit. It helped her to keep the extra pounds at bay. Just like it had scared off all the boys in high school. Pushing away that which was unwanted. She hadn’t given herself completely to it. But she debated it now. However, Hobi was probably hovering, and if he heard her, then she’d have to feign sickness. Although, given the fact that she’d blacked out earlier today, perhaps she was really sick.
She walked towards the sink. She turned on the water and got her hands wet. Then she splashed some water on her face. She stood staring at her reflection as water drops slid down her face.
Why couldn’t she be pretty like all the other Japanese girls? Was it because she was a mixture of two cultures? No one had ever told her she was beautiful. Not until today. Had Hobi been making fun of her? She didn’t think so. He’d said it in the sweetest tone. Every time she recalled it – and she remembered it often – it brought tears to her eyes and made her heart melt.
But she couldn’t afford to let her heart melt. She lived inside a steel cage. Behind a frozen wall. She’d had to construct it carefully over years of abuse. It kept her heart safe. Didn’t it?
As she stared at her reflection, she felt a sob escape her chest. That’s when she realized that those weren’t all water drops on her cheeks. Some of them were tears.
What was she doing? Why was she in the hotel room of some guy she barely knew? Had she lost her mind today? She needed to get out of here. Before she lost her heart too.
