Eileen lay down on the right side of the blanket, Jimin on the left, so that the wound on his face was near her. In the moonlight, she could see the faint outline of the bandage on his face. She was trying to relax, but being this close to him while they were lying down was still wreaking havoc with her senses. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then she released it slowly.
Suddenly, she felt a hand on her arm. “Are you all right?”
You mean, except for the electricity flowing from your fingertips into every cell of my body right now? You promised you weren’t going to touch me! We’ve been lying here for only thirty seconds, and your fingers are already electrocuting me!
But she didn’t say any of that. She whispered, “I’m fine.”
He smiled into the darkness. She didn’t know that was one of his songs. The tune began to play in his head, and he began to sing the chorus to her. She looked at his face darkly illuminated by the light of the full moon. She listened, enraptured, to his beautiful, clear, high voice, and she knew her heart was in trouble.
He finished singing, and then he stared at her for a full minute before whispering, “Thank you for coming back out here with me. I don’t want to spend one second of my birthday alone.”
What did he say? “Your birthday…” Her words trailed off.
“I don’t know what time it is, but I’m thinking around nine-thirty? Ten o’clock? My birthday begins at midnight.” Actually, it already started back home in Korea.
Why did that truth suddenly make her very sad and crazily ecstatic at the same time?
“Tomorrow is your birthday? And you’re not spending tonight with your friends? I’m so sorry. I should have taken you directly to your hotel.”
He was silent a moment, and by the light of the moon, she saw his mouth curve into a smile. Then he spoke very quietly, “I’m not sorry. I’m here with you.”
Then he broke his word again without thinking as those short fingers came up to brush an auburn lock out of her eyes and direct it behind her ear.
Her eyes were pretty, even in the moonlight.
Lying there on his left side, his eyes on hers, his hand still curving around her ear, he began to sing her a new song, one he was composing in the moment.
“Under the moonlight
Your eyes are just as bright.
Pools of green
Has my Eireen.
A smile that takes me in,
Wrapping around my heart.
Will you stay near me,
So we never part?”
She was having trouble breathing. Between the fire that was overtaking her ear where his fingertips rested and the flames he was releasing through his lips in the form of a song, he was setting her heart and her lungs on fire. She was motionless, captivated by his voice and his touch. And very unsure about what was going to happen next.
Jimin could feel her whole body tense. It made him sad. Did she still fear him? He quickly removed his hand from her ear and rolled over to lie on his back as he stared up at the stars. “Thank you for being with me tonight. Thank you for saving me earlier…”
“I didn’t! I caused you so much trouble!”
“What do you mean?”
“If it weren’t for me, that vicious woman wouldn’t have caught up with you. You wouldn’t have twisted your ankle. You wouldn’t have a scratch on your beautiful face!”
She’d done it again. She’d called him beautiful.
“It’s not your fault that I got hurt. And my ankle and my cheek will heal. The injury to my ankle is very minor. I’ve suffered much worse just from practicing. I’ll be fine. I am fine. Please don’t blame yourself. You’re the one who rescued me, took care of me, bandaged my ankle and my face, and fed me dinner. You’re my hero.” He smiled at her, wanting to slide his fingers down her cheek. But he kept his hands to himself as he had promised earlier.
She turned her head to stare up at the stars. “Which star is your favorite?”
Had he really meant it when he’d said he wasn’t sad to be missing his friends because she was here with him? He liked her that much? She resolved to do something nice for his birthday. She’d have to fall asleep soon to accomplish it, though.
“I’m not sure what it’s called in Engrish.” But he pointed at it.
“Oh! That’s Polaris. The North Star. Why do you like it?”
“Because it’s so bright. I feel like the light of that one star would be enough to illuminate my whole life if it were close enough.” He turned his head to look at her. Just like you.
She smiled at him. He spoke English haltingly but amazingly well. And she had to keep translating every word that contained an L because he kept pronouncing them like an R. So “I feer rike the right of that one star would be enough to irruminate my whore rife if it were crose enough” became “I feel like the light of that one star would be enough to illuminate my whole life if it were close enough” in her mind. So their conversation moved slowly because of the slight language barrier. Still, Jimin was so cute.
He was cute. Everything about him was cute. From his broad smile to his almond-shaped eyes. From his straight nose to his dark blond locks. From his tiny pinky fingers to his toes. Jimin was adorable. His accent. His speech. His voice. His laugh. She loved the way his eyes seemed to disappear when he grinned or chuckled. She didn’t know that he had deemed that his “eye smile.”
He spoke again, “Which is your favorite?”
Which of his features was her favorite? Hmmm…
“Your eyes,” she answered without thinking.
“What?”
That’s when she realized he had asked a different question than she had answered. Whoops.
“My eyes are your favorite star?”
Yep. That’s about accurate. She gulped. What on earth could she say? The darkness was not enough to hide her, though she longed to melt into it, safe from his probing gaze.
“What I meant to say is you’re my favorite star. You are a star, right?” Nice save, Eileen.
He laughed at her play on words. “I think Jin would have appreciated your joke.”
“Who’s Jin?”
He laughed. “I keep forgetting you don’t know BTS. He’s the oldest member of our group. He’s always telling these atrocious dad jokes.”
“Wow. You know ‘atrocious’? I think you have a better grasp of English than you are letting on.”
“Jungkook has been tutoring me. He sits and reads these long lists of Engrish vocabulary words. Then he makes me repeat them back to him!”
How cute! She’d love to be in on that conversation! Two South Korean boys trying to pronounce “Engrish” together!
“Is Jungkook part of BTS too?”
“Yes, he’s the youngest member. Though sometimes he acts like the oldest. He and Jin often change places.”
“Sounds like you love them a lot.” She could hear the affection in his voice. And a wistfulness that broke her heart for some reason. She carried some of that herself. Being alone was often lonely. “You’re lucky to have them.”
“I know.” He heard sadness in her voice. “Are you all alone here?”
She was lying still, gazing up at the dark sky. “Yes,” she whispered in the tiniest of voices.
His heart broke for her. He understood loneliness only too well. He’d been separated from his family for seven long years. And in the early years of his life, it was his parents that had gotten him through all the hardships he’d faced. He missed them terribly sometimes.
Then the boys had become his family. His band of brothers. The problem was that even though they each perfectly understood his loneliness, they could not cure it themselves. It plagued him still. In the quiet moments. In the dark. Even in the room he shared with Hobi. He was still frightfully alone. And he didn’t know how to fix it. Even lying here with this lovely girl didn’t seem to be quite enough to completely scare away its lingering sorrow.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered back. “I wish I could heal your pain.”
He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss away her grief. But somehow, he knew that would be at best a temporary remedy. In the morning, they would part. And somehow the loneliness would be worse for having spent the night in each other’s arms.
“Jimin, you are so sweet. Has anyone ever told you so?”
He smiled, but the sadness still persisted. “Maybe.”
She yawned. “I don’t want this night to end. The stars are so beautiful. And the moon.” And so are you.
“You are too,” his soft voice floated to her awaiting ears.
“Look. You’ve been given a gift for your birthday.”
“What?”
“A full moon.”
They both stared in silence at the rising moon. A bright moon. A full moon. When they had first spread their blanket on the ground, it had hovered, huge, just over the horizon. It was a harvest moon, a glowing, orange disk that rose slowly above their heads. As it traveled higher in the sky, its light seemed to grow as it faded from a dusky orange to a shining white. It was smiling down upon them now, a radiating reminder to Jimin of his own importance. As though it had been planted in the heavens just to celebrate the day of his birth, it shone more brightly than a birthday candle.
“Jimin.” She yawned again. “I’m so tired. I’ve been up since before five.”
“It’s ok. Go to sleep. I’ll keep you safe.”
He pulled the blankets up around her shoulders and tucked them in under her chin. “Tae would say you look like a winter bear. And he’d be right.” Then without thinking he bent and brushed his lips against her forehead. Her eyes had already fluttered shut. Her breathing instantly deepened.
“Sleep well, love-uh-lee.”
