He entered his office the next evening just as the sun was setting. When she’d arisen early that morning, she’d found him gone. He had not returned at all during the day.
“What are you doing?” he asked brusquely.
“Writing out a story.”
His lips curved upwards into a hopeful smile. “For me?”
She shook her head. “No. It’s for someone back home.”
She missed the expression of irritation that flowed across his face. He had tossed and turned last night. He’d found no peace after she had left his bed.
“Someone back home? A lover, perhaps?” he asked in a sinister voice.
Startled, she allowed her eyes to fly towards his. “What?”
He stepped close to her. And breathed on her. His voice flowing around her in heartrending waves.
“I am here.”
He reached down and captured her wrist within the prison of his elegant fingers, tugging her upwards until she faced him.
“I am here. Standing in front of you. Can’t you feel my heart crying out for you? Doesn’t it move you? Even a little bit?”
He had asked similar questions of another girl once. Again, he was afraid of being rejected. This time the fear was that much greater due to the heartache which he’d suffered at the hands of that other woman. His good friend. The doctor.
But his foolish heart had once again made the same mistake. Falling in love with a woman. With a girl of whom he was unsure. Before he’d even healed from the first rejection.
She was terrified. Because she could feel his desire and her own…pulsating. Like a living beat on the inside of her. Overwhelming her. Threatening to pull her under. Like two magnets inexplicably drawn together, she and Jijin seemed destined for one another. But she recognized that she still had a choice. And that possibility left her feeling uncertain. What if she trusted him, and he betrayed her?
What if he didn’t truly feel for her what she felt for him?
No man had ever cared for her. It was a little too much to believe this one did. What if he just wanted to steal her virtue? But eventually, after she’d given him that precious gift, he abandoned her? Leaving her alone once again?
So she stepped back. And hid her beautiful eyes from his gaze. And pretended she was mute.
Anger flittered across his countenance. And his fingers tightened about the wrist he still held within his grasp. “You won’t give me an answer then? Is this how it’s to be? I bare my heart before you. And you ignore me?” A tremor revealed itself in that last word as he turned away from her, releasing her wrist as he did so.
That quaking caused her hand to rise. Her long, slender fingers wrapped themselves around his fleeing wrist. And instantly stilled his movement.
“I am not indifferent to you,” she whispered. But it was all she would give him. It was all she could give him. She already felt exposed just by those few words.
However, for right now, it was enough. He pivoted to face her again. “You’re not indifferent to me?” he asked with a rueful smile, but sorrow still scalded his eyes. “That’s hardly the burning passion I was seeking.” He sighed suddenly. “I’ve already made myself too vulnerable to you. A foolish act for a man in my position.”
Her brow wrinkled. “A man in your position?” she echoed. “What does that mean? What is your position?”
He gazed down at her in surprise. “You still do not know? You haven’t figured it out yet?”
That ravine between her eyebrows deepened. “Figured out what?”
“I think I’ll leave you in the dark a little while longer. I relish the idea of someone being not indifferent to the real me.”
He had ordered the servants and guards not to reveal his true identity to her, but he hadn’t believed she’d stay ignorant for this long. However, it appeared that they had zealously guarded his secret. And kept her within his rooms. Perhaps they had more respect for him than he had expected. He’d also managed to hide the girl from the majority of the palace thus far. Only a handful of people knew Eun Sook was residing in his chamber.
He knew that those who did believed her to be his concubine. He was sorry for that but not so remorseful that he would remove her from his rooms. She was, after all, the only reason he was sleeping at night. That supposition had clearly been proven last night when he had suffered so during her absence. Would she believe him if he admitted that his intentions towards her were only honorable?
Eun Sook stared up at him. Trying to figure out this enigma. He’d been a mystery to her from the very beginning. He was clearly a powerful man. His chamber was guarded by the finest of soldiers. He was served beautiful meals by the most elegant of maids. He often left her alone for hours on end to “attend to matters.”
Was he some lord? A consultant to the king? Or perhaps, he was a relative of the king? Was he a sacred bone?
She sighed. That would complicate things. It would also influence his feelings towards her. She must continue to hide her identity.
In the beginning, she’d feared they would come for her. But it appeared that they either didn’t know where she’d fled to, or they didn’t care. Of course, they didn’t care. Who would care for an albino outcast?
They never had. Not during all the long years of her childhood. So, why, upon reaching her adolescence, had she begun to wonder if someone from her household missed her? Or was looking for her?
The thought hadn’t occurred to her until she’d been forced to flee the village in which she’d grown up. Leaving behind everything of value in her life. All her memories. And the only friend she’d ever made on her own.
Perhaps, she should take Jijin up on his offer. How else was she supposed to continue surviving? But…what exactly was his offer?
I knew her origin was more complicated