She took a deep breath. And found the courage to meet his eyes. But she still didn’t know what to say. The man had just devastated her heart. In the most wonderful way possible.
Like a man wandering into a land wrecked by war. To find only the broken remains of civilization. Who then sweeps up the destruction. Becoming the destroyer of destruction, as it were. Dismantling what the enemy has built. And uprooting what he has sown.
This valiant warrior takes the time to nurture the earth beneath and plant trees of hope into its rich soil. He remains to water that land. And chase away the vermin and the insects bent on destroying the harvest. Becoming an architect who waits for those trees to grow tall and strong before cutting them down to rebuild the broken city. And fortify it with strong walls. So that it will never again be vulnerable to attack. Or ruination.
Jijin seemed to her to exemplify that man in all his strengths. He had found her lost and alone in the forest. Searching for a home. Yet finding none. So he had given her his. And provided her every need. Asking for so little in return. He had required only her words. She’d given him her kisses for free. After he had showered her with his own.
He’d made her feel cherished. Adored. Beloved.
A foreign sensation was stealing over her heart with its undeniable warmth. Creeping into the wells and wounds created by so many other people. It seemed to her that he was pouring a healing balm into all those cracks and crevices. Something that would seal them and make them habitable again. Could love now dwell in her heart? Could its warmth continue to flood her with heat? And life? And this unfathomable electricity?
As she lay gazing up at him out of her indigo eyes, silent tears continued to creep down her pale cheeks to lose themselves on her pillow.
“Can I hold you?” he whispered.
When she nodded, he reached for her, sliding his arm beneath her head and pulling her close, until her ear was pressed over his heart. And she could feel its steady beat pulsating into her own flesh. She closed her eyes as she wept quietly for several moments. Held safe in his loving embrace. Before long, she drifted off to sleep.
Any story flowing through her mind that night remained a mystery kept from him. But he didn’t care. He was more than full simply clinging to her in his bed. And reliving the memory of those sweet kisses over and over again. Until he too succumbed to slumber.
––
The next morning, they both awoke to the song of a bird. That snow white, fluffy crow tit with the midnight eyes. As Jijin smiled down at her upon waking, she lifted her eyelids to meet his gaze.
“Good morning,” he whispered.
She smiled shyly at him.
“Do you hear the bird singing?”
She nodded.
“It’s snowy white like you. You remind me of that adorable, little bird. Perfect purity contained in a tiny package. And yet, do you know the lesson of the baepsae? I think this is an apt one for you.
“You’ve tried to blend in. To be like the others, haven’t you?” he questioned softly.
When she didn’t respond yet her face gave away the fact that the weight of his words had hit her squarely in her heart, he continued to explain his meaning, “You’ve tried to become something you aren’t. Average. Like everyone else. But, Eun Sook, you’re extraordinary.
“An eagle should never try to become a chicken. The eagle was born to soar among the clouds. Not to peck the ground with those foolish, clucking birds. You, my precious one, were born to take to the skies and soar above the mess. Even your coloring announces your purity to a dark and dreary world. No wonder they’re all jealous of you. You are perfection itself.”
She swallowed as she stared at him. She lowered her gaze. He was right. She had done her best to fit in. For a very long time.
Not that it had ever done any good. She was an outcast everywhere she went. No beautiful, raven-haired, tanned people wanted to accept a young freak with the hair of an old woman and the skin of another tribe. And eyes which they had claimed originated with the devil. Eyes that would seduce their young men, they’d maintained. Before casting her out.
If they could see her now, lying in Jijin’s bed, they would proclaim that they’d been proven right. She had seduced one of their own. A beautiful, raven-haired boy with gorgeous tan skin.
“What is it?” he asked as he felt her distress.
“I’ve proven them right,” she whispered. She sat up suddenly. “Here I lie in your bed with you. They called me a seductress, with wild eyes that would entice men to carry me off to their beds. Well…I’ve done just that, haven’t I?”
He could feel anger rising in his soul. He flung his body abruptly up into a sitting position and reached out to grab her shoulder lightly. “That is a lie! You’ve done nothing wrong! You didn’t seduce me. You allowed me a few kisses. That’s all.”
But I would have allowed you more had you pressed me.
This was the feeling that was shaking her now. He’d gotten under her skin. He’d crawled all the way down deep into her heart.
“Eun Sook. You are good. And pure. And sweet. And kind. And you have the most wonderful and pure imagination. Don’t ever let their harsh words cut you down. Not ever again!”
He paused. “I have seen the worst of the world. And I can promise you that you are not it. You don’t even come close to it. You are its opposite. You are beautiful. And precious. And the first person who has ever made me feel like I could find peace in this life.”
She watched in shock as a tear slid down his cheek. She blinked as her own eyes flooded with tears. Then she raised her hand and cupped his jawline gently with her palm. Her thumb sliding tenderly over that moist tear track. Then she bent forward and kissed his cheek.
A moment later, his lips captured her own. Jijin took his time that morning, showing her his heart and all it held for her.
But he still didn’t touch her purity.
Today, exercising such temperance seemed even more important than it had last night.
I come from a fairly non diversing country. We are nearly all middle European white. But my best friend is a mixed race where her father is very dark skinned African man. She was either refused by other people or made to be their mascot of a sort… Proof that they are progressive and not racist because they have one darker friend…. I remember how it pained her over and over again when people’s true colours showed. I also remember how surprised she was when she met some of my other friends and they were surprised by her skin tone, because when I was talking about her I simply forgot to mention that as it is not defining her. People can be cruel and hurt others for the stupidest reasons.