Kookie returns to the kitchen after tossing his clothes into the dryer. We have another coveted half hour of time to spend alone together. Now there’s an oxymoron for you. Alone. Together. Or is it together alone? I’m not sure! Anyway, you get my drift!
Kookie picks up his guitar and begins strumming again. He begins vocalizing. I close my eyes and just enjoy the moment. Sitting alone in a room with Jungkook while he creates beautiful music, his lovely voice filling the air around me, I feel like crying again; the sounds filling my soul are so beautiful! Then he begins to sing Melody’s song again. It is just perfect. I listen to the whole song, relishing every single note and chord.
When his fingers cease moving, I ask him, “You are going to play it for Melody, right?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know how I would.”
“Invite her over for a study session. Then ask her if you can play her a song you wrote. Just play the melody,” I glance at him as smiles quirk our lips upward. “No pun intended. Just play the music. Maybe she’ll ask you if there are any lyrics. If she doesn’t, when you finish playing it, you can ask if she’d like to hear the lyrics.”
Is it just my imagination, or has Kookie really turned white? He looks more like his airbrushed photos from that alternate universe. The ones in which he wore makeup and concealer.
“It makes you really nervous to think about singing to her, doesn’t it? But part of you must want to sing it to her. After all, you wrote it for her.”
His gaze catches my eye for a moment before he drops his eyes and pretends to concentrate on his guitar.
“The other option is to invite her over. I’ll distract her by talking to her, and you can go out to the living room to play your song while I keep her in the kitchen. She’ll hear the song, but you won’t have to play it directly in front of her.”
Kookie quietly strums his guitar. He’s not looking at me. I know what this means.
“It’s ok, Kookie. You don’t have to play it for her. It would just be really sweet if you did. What I would have given in high school for my crush to play me a song he wrote for me!” I pause as I daydream about just that scenario.
Quickly on the heels of that vision comes another. I see a myriad of young ladies – all the girls – who would sigh and scream over the thought of Jungkook composing a song for them and serenading them with it. Then I attempt to set my newfound son at ease. “How about you just ask her if she can help you with your math homework here? I’ll get a chance to meet her. And I can tell you if she likes you or not.”
His head comes up. “You can?”
I nod my head.
“How?”
“Oh, I don’t think I should give away all our secrets. But I am a girl, you know? I know the signs.” I smile mysteriously at Kookie.
He looks at me, mystified, and I realize how much fun this is!
“I’ll think about it.”
“Ok.”
I sit there just staring at him as he bends over his guitar once more. He starts to play the strings and then begins to sing. All I can do is watch him.
Well, what would you do if Jungkook suddenly appeared in your house, claiming to be your son?
I’m still in shock even as the other part of my brain knows this boy has been my son for over sixteen years.
Another memory surfaces. This time he was ten years old, and he was outside playing with his friends. Suddenly, I heard someone scream. I dropped the potato I was peeling and ran outside, my heart pounding in my throat.
One of the kids, a boy named Spencer, was bent over screaming, his blond head in his hands.
“What happened?”
My gentle, eldest son turned sorrowful eyes towards me. “I hit him with the bat. It was an accident! He was standing behind me, and I didn’t know it, and I swung it backwards.”
I sighed in relief. If the bat connected with Spencer’s head as Kookie swung it backwards, then the damage would be so much less than if he’d been hit with the full force of a forward swing. But I could tell that Kookie felt just horrible. My heart turned over in my chest. This boy had always had such a precious, sweet heart. He was always thinking of others first. That day was no exception. After he confessed his mistake, he ran into the house to get an ice pack while I examined Spencer’s head and called his mom. Spencer recovered, and he and Kookie are still very good friends.
I think also about how Kookie has always been shy around other kids, especially girls. He once had a very painful crush on a little girl when they were in sixth grade. She was a sweet, pretty, little thing but also painfully shy. I don’t think they spoke one word to each other that whole year. Kookie was crushed when she moved away at the end of the school year.
I hope he finds the courage to tell Melody how he feels about her. But if he doesn’t, I can think of another girl who’s madly in love with him. Though, I don’t think he’s ever noticed.
