The Mercenary – Chapter 43: Fleeing

…which is why she was shaking in her boots as she strode towards their outdoor sanctuary.

If she couldn’t find him…if he left without saying goodbye…if her heart broke and would never mend again…how would she ever marry anyone else?

How would she ever be happy?

She stopped abruptly as she realized that her greatest goal in life had changed.  She wanted to be loved.

She didn’t desire power.  Or influence.  Or wealth.

Not above love.

When had that changed?

Instantly, his warm, cinnamon eyes appeared in her mind’s eye.  Gazing at her with such tenderness.  And she knew the exact moment that it had happened.  The second in which she’d realized that she loved him.

She picked up the skirts of her robes and ran towards their garden.

And found herself disappointed.

She came to a stop a few feet from their bench.  He wasn’t sitting on it.  He wasn’t standing a few feet from it.  He wasn’t anywhere to be found.

Tears began to steal down her cheeks.  As despair filled her heart.

She didn’t know him.  Not as she had believed she did.  She’d been absolutely sure that she would find him here.  That he would come to the place where his love for her had grown into something beautiful.  But she’d been wrong.  He didn’t love her.  Not anymore.  She’d left him to his own devices for too long.  She’d spurned his devotion, so he had withdrawn it from her.  Just as she deserved.

Who would help her to face her bow now?

Trembling, she turned back towards the palace.  To find a maid had followed her.

“Can I help you, your highness?” the girl asked in silent alarm as she noticed the tears streaming down her princess’s face. 

The maid had never seen Sook Myeong weeping.  She had, in fact, believed that such an action was an impossibility.  She felt her world slightly rocked by the knowledge that the princess did, after all, possess a heart.  And that heart could be crushed.

“Yes!” Sook Myeong snapped.  “Get me my bow!”  She turned towards the range.  “And meet me at the target field.”

“Right away, your highness,” the girl bowed to her before fleeing.

Sook Myeong took a deep breath and turned towards the range.  Very slowly, she headed that way.  Her feet dragging with every step.  She was, once again, alone.  She would have to face her fears by herself.  Was she strong enough to overcome them without the prince?

She didn’t even feel like she could conquer them with him.  But…without him?

She found herself shaking as she passed their bench.  She was quaking so hard that her teeth began to chatter.  Her stomach completing somersaults.  And she admitted that she was a fool. 

She had possessed the love of a good man.  And she had let it go. 

Because she was scared.

But now, she was even more terrified to face life without him.  His smile was the thing that had made her day worth facing.  His arms had been the first haven which she’d ever found in life.  His kiss, the first moment of ecstasy that she had ever experienced.  His laughter, the buoyancy which kept her afloat.  His warm, cinnamon eyes, the only home which she’d ever found.

She made her way, stumbling, to her bench.  She crumpled down on it and bent over as she burst into tears.  Whatever fierceness she had once possessed in her character, his love had extinguished its flames.  Whatever courage to which she had once dearly held, it had left with him.  Whatever spark had once given her life, it had evaporated with his disappearance.  She felt now like simply a former shell of the girl she had once been.

His love had been the thing that had finally given her the wings upon which she’d long dreamed of soaring.  Into genuine, faithful freedom.  She had tasted its glory as she’d flown upon the beautiful winds of his devotion to her.  But now, without him, she had come crashing to the ground.

Love was true liberty.

But she had allowed his love to fly away.  Without her.

Leaving her once again…alone.  But it was so much worse now than it had been that first night in which he’d stepped into her garden to join her on her bench.  Back then, she had been accustomed to fending for herself.  But now she knew what it felt like to walk with someone else.  To have a good man surround her with his love and support.  To bask in the affectionate light shining from his cinnamon eyes.  She’d reveled in his warm embrace.  And cherished every single kiss in which they’d indulged.  Drawing strength from his sweet character.  And his kind heart. 

Returning to her solitary walk would take more courage than she knew she possessed.

She buried her face in her hands and wept like a tiny child.  Pouring out all the grief of a young lifetime into her own hands.  Incapable hands.  Weak hands.  They were not large enough to hold all the agony of her tender heart.

She was sobbing so hard that she didn’t hear the twig that snapped under a footfall a few moments later.  She didn’t look up as her silent pursuer approached her.

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Lucia

    Assailant? And you stop the story there? So mean

    1. Rainbow Rose

      Thank you for pointing out that word. It was the wrong one. I looked up its definition. I thought it had a more innocuous meaning as well. It does not. It should have been the word “pursuer.”

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