Blog

She wanted to cry.  But she discovered that she was frozen again.  Numb. 

She knew that it was her best defense against the pain.  But she had enjoyed feeling again.  At least, for a little while.  Until he’d slipped that sword between her ribs.  Hurting her so much more than Dong Nam ever had.  This wound ran even deeper.

It had happened again.  She’d gotten her hopes up and dared to believe in love once more.  Only to discover that yet again it was a lie.

She wasn’t desirable.  Her husband had wanted her for her youth.  This man wanted her for her wealth.  No one wanted her.  Only what she could bring him.

She locked her front door before heading to the kitchen.  She would distract herself from the heartache by preparing for her new responsibility.  She smiled as she considered caring for Bo A.  Finally, Jung Sook had someone to love.

She sighed.

Even if it wasn’t Soo Ho.

––

Discouraged, Soo Ho headed home.  He and the other hwarang didn’t have to return for training until tomorrow afternoon.  He sighed.  He had hoped to spend this evening with Jung Sook.  Now he had to wonder if he’d ever get another moment alone with her.

She’d just brushed him off.  And tomorrow she would take on the monumental task of raising a child.  She was going to be committed for years.  To one little girl.

When what he truly craved was for her to commit to him.  For life.

––

Jung Sook arrived early at school the next morning.  She didn’t want to make Bo A’s mother wait.  Still, the woman beat her to the door.  The young teacher saw the woman and her daughter waiting for her outside the building.  She cringed and hurried down the road.

“I am so sorry!” she called out as she approached the older woman.  Jung Sook bowed deeply to her.  “I did not mean to keep you waiting.  I am Gwan Jung Sook.”

The woman bowed her head to the teacher.  “You have offered to take my daughter?” she whispered. 

As Jung Sook glanced up into her face, she could see the tear tracks that had come to stain her cheeks.  They must have dried on her walk to the school.

“I have,” she nodded.  “I promise that I will take the very best care of her.  And you are welcome to come see her any time you want.  I will give you my home address too.”

“I know where you live,” the woman muttered.

“You do?” Jung Sook asked, surprised.

Bo A’s mother bobbed her head lightly.  “I spoke with several people who know you.  I am a servant in Lord Kim Seub’s home.”

“Ah.” 

Good woman.  Not ready to trust her daughter to just anyone.

“I feel a certain…affinity for your daughter, ma’am,” Jung Sook spoke in a soft voice.  “I can tell that she is a very good girl.  She works hard to please her father.”

The woman’s gaze sharpened on Jung Sook.  “Have you some experience with pleasing your appa?”

The teacher met her gaze squarely.  “I do,” she whispered.

Those eagle eyes continued to study her for several long moments.  Sizing her up.

“What is your daily schedule?”

Jung Sook described a usual day in her school.

“And afterward?  Are you usually home by seven o’clock?”

The teacher nodded.  “I am.” 

Now she would be.  No more fencing lessons in her field out back.  She felt her heart dip as her thoughts strayed towards Soo Ho. 

A moment later, she forced her mind back to the child.

The woman turned towards her daughter.  “I will come visit you in the evenings.  When I can get away.”

Bo A bobbed her head.  She understood what her mother wasn’t saying.  The little girl gazed up at her mother with longing eyes.  But she didn’t speak.

“Be a good girl.  Do all this nice lady asks of you.  Without complaint.”  She turned towards Jung Sook.  “Thank you for giving her this opportunity.  I know she won’t waste it.”

Then she cast one more longing glance at her daughter.  Before turning and walking down the road.

Jung Sook watched her go for a moment as her heart sank.  No words of love for her child.  Not even a kiss on her forehead.  Bo A’s mother had simply walked away.  Even though today was breaking her heart.