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They were alone.  Ban Ryu and Dan Se.

They’d both been left sleeping early this morning when Yeo Wool had headed for hwarang training.  Dan Se had been debating joining the others.  Practice beat lying around like a dead man.  But suddenly, Ban Ryu’s quiet voice chased away the silence of their room.

“How do you live with it, Dan Se?”

Dread crept up the older man’s spine.  “Live with what?”

But he knew.  It was the question that no one had asked him.  Yet he had asked himself that question every single day since Han Sung had died.

“Knowing that your actions led to the death of an innocent?”

Dan Se gasped.  Sharply.  Even knowing that blade had been aimed at him, its entrance into his heart still hurt.  Like crazy.

“I don’t know,” he whispered.  “One day at a time.  I think of him every day.  Every time I pick up my sword, I remember his innocent smile.”  His lips flipped sadly upward before dipping again.  “And his unrealistic dreams.  And the power struggle amongst a bunch of selfish, old men that led us down this path.  And I have determined to stay.  To establish a better kingdom. 

“I believe in Jin Heung.  I believe in his desire to obliterate the bone rank system.  I’m willing to die to help him create a better world for those who come after us.  If I can save even one boy like Han Sung from having to grow up in the cruel world to which he was born.  A world that was never good enough for him.  I guess…I live to make the world a place that Han Sung would have enjoyed.  A place his smile would have been prized.  Instead of ridiculed.”

He turned his head and looked at Ban Ryu.  “Why did you ask me that question?  No one else has dared.”

“Because I am struggling with my own demons,” he murmured.

Dan Se considered him a moment.  “You’ve been displaced.  How odd.  I have risen to my brother’s place of distinction.  And you have fallen from yours.  So why do I feel like we are alike?”

“Because we both hurt innocent people trying to satisfy our elders,” Ban Ryu’s quiet voice sounded again.

Dan Se frowned.  “Really?  Whom did you hurt?”

Ban Ryu shook his head.  “It doesn’t matter.  All that matters is that I cannot make amends.  As you cannot.  At least, you have a mission to keep you going.  I don’t even have that.”

Dan Se furrowed his dark brow.  “Don’t you have a girl?”

Ban Ryu glanced sharply at him.  “What makes you think that?”

“I saw you once.  Talking to Soo Ho’s sister.  It was obvious that the girl’s fallen head over heels for you.”  It had been just as evident that Ban Ryu worshipped the ground on which the lovely lass walked.

Ban Ryu simply grunted.

“Why don’t you make the world a safer place for her?” Dan Se breathed.

Ban Ryu just blinked.

Dan Se stretched.  “I’m going to go practice my swordplay.  Care to partner with me?”

Ban Ryu shrugged.  He might as well.  It wasn’t like he had anything better to do.

Except…Soo Yeon had invited him to her house.

Maybe…maybe he would risk it.  After he got in some sword practice.  He could never be too prepared for battle.  One never knew when all his skills would be tested in his service to the king.