Lord Kim Seub waited to visit Ban Ryu until the moon had risen high over the earth. And Soo Yeon had fallen asleep on her yo bed in the corner of his room. Her father replaced her mother in the chair next to Ban Ryu’s bed. As Lady Bit Na fled the room after kissing her husband hello, Ban Ryu turned his attention on the older gentleman. And wondered how the noble lord was going to punish him for claiming his daughter’s lips with his own. But the man’s softly uttered remark shocked him to his toes a moment later.
“You’re going to have to marry her now, you know.”
The nobleman startled him with those unexpected words.
“What?” Ban Ryu gasped, all his defenses suddenly blown away.
“You have compromised my daughter. Lying in a bed with her. All alone in your bedchamber. Just the two of you. Her eomma caught you kissing, but who’s to say that more did not occur?”
“On my honor, my lord, I swear nothing else occurred!” Ban Ryu snapped to attention.
Lord Kim Seub speared him with a piercing glare. Reminding Ban Ryu of the sword thrust that had separated his muscle from his bone. “If word of this leaks, her reputation will be in tatters. And who will marry her then?”
Ban Ryu blinked. And blanched as the truth of her father’s words penetrated his heart.
The mighty lord – and offended father – studied him carefully for several quiet seconds. “You will marry my daughter, son. As soon as you are well.”
Son?
Why did this man keep calling him son?
Ban Ryu blinked again, unable to take in this strange turn of events. “But you hate me,” he finally breathed sadly.
The nobleman’s gaze continued to peruse his face in silent contemplation for many interminable moments. Finally, he spoke.
“I do not hate you.”
Ban Ryu gazed up at him in consternation. “I do not understand,” he finally admitted.
Lord Kim Seub tugged his chair forward, closing the distance between them. Until his knees bumped the bed. He took a deep breath. Preparing to spill a secret that no one else knew.
He darted a glance at his slumbering daughter. And listened for her tell-tale snore. He wasn’t disappointed. It broke the air softly. He sighed in relief. Before turning his full attention back to the young man lying wounded in his guest chamber.
“Your presence here of late has reminded me of something I tried very hard to forget.”
He paused as his daughter’s words floated back up from the surface of his memory.
“Have you no heart? Were you never in love, Appa? With a girl you could not have?”
Lord Kim Seub sighed. Finally, he opened his mouth again to untether his deepest secret.
“I loved your mother.”
Ban Ryu’s eyes grew wide as they studied the older gentleman’s face. He lay, shocked, staring in bewilderment up at the austere lord.
“When she…and I…were very young. Even younger than you and Soo Yeon.”
Lord Kim Seub ceased speaking and drew another long breath. “But then she was promised to your father. So…I lost her.”
He was quiet for a few moments as Ban Ryu’s heart worked furiously to absorb these strange words. Then that quiet voice began to speak again, filling his ears with more astounding words.
“Years later, I ran into her again. In the marketplace. Tugging you along.” The nobleman’s lips flipped upwards as he affectionately remembered that tiny lad. “You must have been a child of about four years. You were absolutely adorable. With her wide, obsidian eyes. And her quick smile.”
Ban Ryu frowned. He couldn’t recall ever having had a ready grin. Or even laughing. But then, he didn’t really remember his mother. She had passed away while he was still so young.
“I realized the other day as you reminded me of her that her child is now an orphan really. I never could have abandoned your mother. So you must understand that there is no way that I can abandon you either.”
His sober eyes collided with Ban Ryu’s, challenging the younger man to object.
But Ban Ryu was too stunned to respond.
This grand lord had once loved his own precious eomma?
How could this be?
––
After a moment, Lord Kim Seub spoke again. “Once I believed that you were just like your father. But you have proven me wrong. Time and time again.”
“No,” Ban Ryu breathed. “I am like him,” he murmured bitterly. “Too much like him.”
Lord Kim Seub stiffened. “I fail to see it.”
“Do you?” the injured man uttered acerbically. “That’s only because you don’t know all the awful choices I made to follow that man’s hideous instructions.”
“The fact that you found such instructions hideous and the following of them awful tells me all I need to know of your character.”
But Ban Ryu shook his head as a tear ran down his cheek. “No. No. I do not deserve your daughter. You were right, my lord. I am unworthy of her. I am unworthy of you. And I am unworthy of my mother if she was the woman you believed her to be. I sent several innocent people to their deaths. I can never atone for that. I will carry the worst mistake of my life with me. To my grave.”
Confused, Lord Kim Seub stared openly at him. In consternation. “Ban Ryu. What are you talking about?”
“Do you remember when Soo Ho escorted the princess to Baekje?”
The nobleman nodded his head.
“I accompanied him, Seon Woo, and our friend, Ji Dwi, on that trip. Back then, none of us knew that he was the king, of course. Minister Park penned a note to the prince of Baekje. He demanded that I deliver it to him.”
“Did you know what it said?” her father interrupted him.
Ban Ryu hung his head. “I did not. But,” he sighed deeply, “I delivered the note to him.” A pause. “And endangered us all. Including your son.” He glanced back up into her father’s eyes.
“Go on. What happened next?”
Ban Ryu’s gaze slid away towards the closed window as he pictured a bright day in which too many people had died. Needlessly. Because of him.
“We were all dragged out to be punished. The prince of Baekje informed us that the faceless king was among us. And that he would begin to slaughter some of Silla’s villagers if the king did not step forward.”
“What villagers?” Lord Kim Seub queried, confused.
“He had captured some of our people. Starving, they had crossed the border into Baekje. Looking for food. Work.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. A better life, perhaps? Anyway, they were in the prison when we arrived. He had them all hauled out. When the king did not immediately step forward, he had several of those people killed.”
“And you think their blood is on your hands?”
“Isn’t it?” he met the lord’s gaze again.
“Are you certain Minister Park’s letter revealed the king’s presence? He did not know that Ji Dwi was the king.”
“But he believed that Seon Woo was. So it makes sense that the letter contained his secret.”
Lord Kim Seub studied him for several excruciating seconds. “It says much about your character that this situation so upsets you. Still. After all this time.”
“After all this time?” Ban Ryu cried out. “Those people are just as dead today as they were that day! I have wronged them!” Suddenly, a sob escaped him.
Embarrassed, he cleared his throat and averted his gaze. Turning his head to stare at the corner where his beloved Soo Yeon was still slumbering.
Her father watched the ineffable tenderness that crossed the boy’s face as his eyes drank in her sleeping form.
“You love my daughter very much, don’t you, son?”
Ban Ryu’s bitter gaze met his again. “Don’t call me son,” his voice cracked. And he closed his eyes.
“Answer my question,” came the nobleman’s stern voice.
“Yes.”
“And if I give her to you, will you take the best care of her that you are able?”
He squeezed his eyes more tightly shut. “You cannot entrust her to me. For all I know, I may be lame. I may have no way to provide for her.”
“If that is the case, the king will provide for her.”
Ban Ryu’s eyes flew open. To crash into his. “What?”
“Don’t you know that if a bodyguard is wounded in the line of duty – most especially when he is protecting a member of the royal family – then his entire family is provided for? For life.”
Lord Kim Seub studied the young man. “Are you unaware of your standing with the king? He has an especial fondness for you. He considers you his friend. He told me so himself. Do you think that Jin Heung would abandon one of his friends when that friend nearly died protecting not only his sister but another dear friend of his? Do you truly believe he has so little character?”
“I don’t deserve—” Ban Ryu began bitterly.
“Stop that!” the nobleman’s voice suddenly thundered. Cutting off every protest.
Paling, Ban Ryu met his gaze again.
“You deserve every honor the king decides to give you. Maybe you did reveal his secret. Unintentionally. Maybe you did endanger those people and place your entire entourage at risk. I do not know for certain. And neither do you. And, yes, you’re going to have to live with that possibility.
“But I do know several things for certain.” He held up his index finger. “You nearly died saving my son’s life. You made a split-second decision to step between him and the tip of a sword. Knowing full well that you might die where you stood.”
Then his middle finger joined his pointer in saluting the sky. “You accepted the responsibility of protecting the princess – not just on that trip but for months beforehand.”
His ring finger popped up. “You love my daughter. And wish only the best for her.
“I will judge your character based on the things that I know for certain.”
His pinky joined the fray. “I know you to be a man of integrity.”
His thumb jutted out. “And conscience.”
Then his other hand cast its vote for Ban Ryu as its thumb stood erect. “And with a tender heart as well.”
Lord Kim Seub spread his hands out in front of him. “I find you worthy, Ban Ryu. So – whether you like it or not – from today forward, I am going to call you my son. And my wife will begin to plan your wedding to Soo Yeon. You may consider yourself Soo Ho’s brother now. And my daughter’s intended. And I absolutely refuse to take no for an answer.”
Ban Ryu blinked. He gritted his teeth as he felt his heart taking a tumble. Tears filled his eyes, and he looked away from the honorable man seated next to him.
He was defenseless again.
He’d spent his entire life unprotected from the vicious plots of an evil man and the horrid manipulations of his pawn. But he had never before been at the mercy of a good man.
And he found that love was even more difficult to resist than hatred had been.
The last sentence hits so friggin much