Blog

Nia returned home late that afternoon.  She found Taehyung in the living room staring blankly at his computer.  He looked up at her and smiled faintly.

“You’re back.”

He set his laptop on the coffee table and crossed the room to pull her into a hug.  She sighed as she melted into his chest.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

She swallowed thickly, trying not to burst into tears. “I went to see my mom.  She said…she said that she’d had five miscarriages trying to have kids….” Her voice caught on a sob. “Tae…what if…what if we can’t have kids?”

She felt his arms tighten around her. “Would you like to try again?” he paused. “We can always adopt if we can’t have kids, right?”

She nodded.  But she was still shaking.

“It’s gonna be all right, honey,” he whispered into her hair. “Was there anything else you talked to her about?”

“I invited her to the wedding.  I’m going to…call my dad tonight.  I want him to walk me down the aisle.  You were right.  I will regret it if I don’t invite them.”

“I’m glad you realized that before the wedding.”

“Me too,” Nia sniffled.

“I think I’m going to stay home for the next few days,” Taehyung admitted after a few moments of silence.

“Really?”

“Yes.  I don’t think I can leave you at home alone right now.  It would distract me, so it wouldn’t be doing either of us any good for me to go.”

Nia nodded, rubbing her tears all over his shirt. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, honey.  I’m here for you.  We’ll get through it, ok?”

She let out a soft sob before nodding again.

——————–

“Tae, how many kids do you want?”

“I want five,” Tae grinned.

“Five?  That’s a lot!”

He shook his head. “Nah.  It’s the perfect amount.  What about you?”

“Two or three?  Raising any more sounds scary.”

“Hey, I’ll be there to help you raise them, though.  It won’t be so scary, will it?”

Nia looked up at him and smiled. “I guess not.”

“We’ll get married when we’re twenty-four.  Then we can have our first one when we’re twenty-five.  How’s that?”

Nia laughed. “That’s so far away.”

He shrugged. “I don’t want to marry you without assuring I can support us first.  I can’t even handle taking care of my mom right now.”

“Tae, you’re doing a great job.  I don’t know how you work and do all your homework.”

“I don’t,” was his blunt answer. “I’m so close to just giving up and dropping out.  It’s so hard.  Every day she gets sicker, and every day I wonder if she’ll even still be there when I get home.”

Nia grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “You’re trying, though.  That’s the important part.  One day you’ll be an amazing dad.”

“And one day you’ll be an amazing mom.” His smile returned, and he brought her hand up to kiss the back of it.

——————–

Nia blinked her eyes open, staring at the dark ceiling above her.  She looked down at the lovely boy whose head was rested against her shoulder as he slept.  She wished she could be as hopeful as she’d been at eighteen.  Now, as she laid here, completely weak as her abdomen cramped, she wondered if she’d ever have that kind of hope again.