Blog

It took Nia a few days to get into contact with her father.  On Tuesday, he finally called her.

“Hey, little worm.”

Nia’s lip quivered as soon as she heard her nickname.  He’d started calling her that after her fascination with worms when she was tiny. “Hi, dad.”

“Your mother said you wanted to talk?”

“Did she tell you I’m getting married next month?”

“No, she didn’t.  You are?  That’s great, sweetie.”

“I was wondering if you’d walk me down the aisle.  It just…wouldn’t feel right for you to not.”

“Of course, I will.  Name the date and I’ll be there.”

“It’s the thirteenth.”

“You found yourself a good boy, right?”

“It’s Tae, dad, I think you know he’s a good guy.”

“Good.  I’m glad.  He was always willing to take good care of you.  What did your mother say?”

“She…was surprisingly accepting of the fact that I’m marrying him.  It really wouldn’t matter, I guess, because we already got married.  It’s just nice that she isn’t fighting it anymore.” She paused. “You don’t mind that I didn’t marry Hobi, did you?”

“As long as he’s not what you want, no.”

“Did you know?  That mom was lying?”

There was a long pause.

“She told me you wanted to forget Tae.”

“What?”

“She said you told her you didn’t want to remember him if you woke up.”

Nia stared at the floor.  Had she really said that?

“Do you know if I really said that?”

“I’m not sure, worm.  I wasn’t in the room when you had that conversation.  I don’t know what the two of you discussed.”

Nia clicked her tongue. “If I really said that, it was the worst decision of my life.”

——————–

Nia rolled around in bed for the rest of the afternoon, trying to remember that day.  She had absolutely no recollection of any of this.  When Tae slid into bed with her that evening, she was near tears.

“Are you all right?” he asked, concerned. “Thinking about the baby again?”

She shook her head. “My dad finally called me today.  When I asked if he knew my mom was keeping me from you…he said that she told him I didn’t want to remember you if I woke up from surgery.  It…I don’t know if she told him the truth…or not.  I can’t remember anything after I got to the hospital.  I remember waking up and you being there, and that’s it.” Her words were starting to slur together, and she was shaking now.

“Hey, hey, calm down.  You’re not going to be able to recall anything if you have a panic attack.” He rubbed her arms.

“I’d feel terrible if this really was my fault.” She sobbed suddenly.

“Even if it was something you asked for, I’m sure you had a reason,” he whispered.

She sighed and buried her face in his chest. “I have to remember, Tae…I have to know if it really was my fault.  Why didn’t my mom tell me?  I screwed up everything, Tae.”

“You don’t know that, honey.  For all we know, it could’ve been another lie she told.”

“But it makes so much sense.  What else explains why my mom just ripped us apart after that?”

“Did you know about the surgery, Nia?”

She froze. “Did I?” she searched, trying to see if she could remember keeping it from him. “I…I think so.” She paused for another few moments. “I think they told me a week or two before the surgery?  But why didn’t I…tell you?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart.”