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Nia didn’t sleep through the night.  She woke up in a cold sweat at three am.  She’d remembered what she’d said to her mom.

——————–

“Mom.”

“What is it?”

“Tae…he…he doesn’t know about the surgery.  I can’t tell him.  I can’t give him hope.  I don’t think I’ll make it.”

“What are we going to tell him?  You died?”

Nia nodded. “That’s most likely what will happen, anyway.  I’ll say goodbye to him, and then you can take me in for the surgery without telling him.”

“But what if you do make it, Nia?  What then?”

She shrugged and shook her head. “Will I even remember him?  It’ll break him if I wake up and can’t remember him.”

“Are you sure, honey?  I think you should tell him.”

Nia shook her head stubbornly. “He needs to be taking care of his mom.  Not me.  He doesn’t need to spend the rest of his life trying to get me to remember him when he can have a perfectly good life without me.”

She could see the disappointment on her mother’s face, and it hurt.  It hurt to know her mother didn’t trust her choice.  But she knew that she didn’t want to break Taehyung any more than he’d already been broken.  She didn’t want him to have another burden.  He already worked himself to the bone for his mother.

She knew he wanted to marry her soon.  He’d talked about it for years.  She didn’t want him to be wounded when he tried to catch her.  She didn’t want him to have to look up at her every morning, pained that she couldn’t remember the days when they were simply courting.  Because she knew he would be willing to love her even when she didn’t remember him.  He’d be willing to take care of someone who thought of him as a stranger.  And she cried, knowing how much she’d be sacrificing if she did one day remember.  He’d be her bittersweet first love.  The one she’d chosen to let slip through her fingers.

——————–

Taehyung nearly flew out of bed the moment he heard Nia sobbing.  He placed his hand on her shoulder, and she jumped.  She stared up at him, suddenly silent as tears ran down her cheeks.

“I-I’m such an id-idiot, Tae.  I ru-ruined everyth-thing.”

He stared at her, his eyes sad as he tried to figure out what was wrong.

“I-I didn’t…want y-you to have t-to take care of-of me while know…knowing I didn’t re-remember you.”

Taehyung brushed a tear off her cheek before pulling her into his arms.  He couldn’t even be mad.  Maybe if it had been nine years ago that he knew, he would’ve been mad.  But now, as Nia was breaking in his arms, he knew he couldn’t be mad at her for something she’d done so long ago.  They’d both been young, and neither of them had seen how much their choices affected someone else.

“Nia, please calm down.  It’s all right.”

She shook her head. “C-can’t,” she muttered before letting out another loud sob.

He leaned his head on top of hers, deciding that was the only way he could comfort her.

“Nia,” he murmured after a few moments.

She hummed, letting him know she was listening.  Her tears kept falling, but she wasn’t sobbing anymore, at least.

“I forgive you.  You don’t need to be sorry for anything you said.  Or did.  Or told your mother to do.  It’s in the past, and your reasoning was completely selfless.  What matters is that we made it to today and we’re together now.  I love you, Nia, and I don’t think anything could ever change that.”