The Kinsman – Chapter 5: Pining for Comfort

Dan Se stared at the brilliant woman.  Shocked into silence by her candor.

What would Han Sung say?

Han Sung would tell him to choose the path that would make him happy.  The problem was – now that Han Sung was gone – no such path existed any longer.  If it ever had. 

Every way that Dan Se turned, misery confronted him.  But truthfully, misery had always confronted him.  His grandfather had seen to that.  And, despite now being dead himself, that old man seemed to still be seeing to his unfavored grandson’s misery.

Dan Se’s whole existence before had revolved around making his brother stronger.  And defending him from their grandfather’s cruelty.  What was the purpose of his life if Han Sung wasn’t here to protect anymore?

So Dan Se raised sad eyes to meet her sharp ones.

“Han Sung never dwelt in the realm that I inhabit.”

“What realm is that?” she asked.

“Reality.”

“Thank God for it!” she gasped, instantly shocking him.  “Reality stinks.”

Stunned, his eyes widening, he simply stared at her.

But she continued to speak after a silent second had passed.  “That was what I adored about your brother.  His ability to lift me out of the miry clay.  He always managed to elevate my vision.  To give me eyes to see life as it should be lived.  Instead of as one trapped in the mud.  Only seeing the filth of our prison.  Han Sung made me believe I could fly.”

Dismayed, he felt tears rising to the surface again.  “I do not wish to speak of my brother any longer.”

“Well, you may not wish it, but I believe that Han Sung would still wish to be spoken of.  If for no other reason than to see your heart flushed of all its pain.  How are you to heal if you never confront the source of the wound?”

This woman was too plainspoken.  

Dan Se sighed.  “I fail to see what speaking of Han Sung any longer will accomplish.”

“It will accomplish allowing you to process the pain of your past.  And to ponder what the future without him can look like.”

“Thank you, but I am well aware of what my future looks like without him.”

“And what is that?” she finally queried after a full minute of silence during which she waited patiently for him to elucidate.  

Then he finally did.  In one word.

“Bleak.”

“Ah.  But isn’t that just pitiful?  That is not at all what Han Sung would have desired for you, oppa.”

“Please,” he cradled his forehead between his fingers and his thumb, “don’t call me oppa.  It implies a relationship where we have none.”

“On the contrary.  I am showing you an affectionate respect.  Based upon the relationship we are about to enjoy.  Shall I call you husband instead?”

Another deep sigh.  This woman was truly trying his patience.

“Why on earth would you desire to marry a sad sack like me?” he muttered indifferently.

“Because you are my best hope for a happy marriage.  You are also a sure ticket out of this hellish household,” she whispered the last few words.

And his ears perked up.  “Pardon?”

“Let’s just say that your grandfather and my father were cut from the exact same cloth.”

As he stared at her quizzically, she stepped forward and gently reached up to brush her fingers tenderly across his cheek.  As she envisioned those bruises of so many years ago.  She felt certain that many of their kind had followed.  Though they had gone unwitnessed by her.

“How is this poor cheek?” she whispered.

And he shivered at the images her soft voice evoked with its troubling question.  But he also basked in the tenderness of her touch.  He hadn’t known any gentleness since his brother’s death.

He reached up to trap her fingers beneath his own.  And he simply stared at her.  He wasn’t sure how to respond to her.  Truthfully, he didn’t want to scare her away.

And today she had confirmed what he had long suspected.  And troubled one of his motives for marrying her.  Instinctively, he had known that she had suffered beatings at the hands of her father.  But until today, his suspicions had never been confirmed.

He frowned as he gazed down at her.

She blinked before finding herself caught in his intense, chocolate gaze.  What was swirling in the dark depths of this mysterious man’s eyes?

Han Sung had always been easy to read.  And to understand.  No hidden motives lay in that boy’s heart.  But Dan Se…  Dan Se was a different matter entirely.  An enigma.  One which had not long intrigued her.  Mostly, because she had feared him as she feared other men.

But today had shown her a different side of his character.  And she had never before found comfort in a man’s arms.  But she’d be lying if she claimed not to have discovered some solace in his embrace.  And his tears had moved her beyond imagining.  Now her hand was trapped under his warm fingers, and his eyes were hanging on to hers.  As though he could find the answers for which he was searching in her gaze.  If only that were true.

But she had no answers.  She had never had any.  She had simply found an odd comfort in Han Sung’s innocence.  Even if he had never made her heart flutter.  She had long ago given up on such childish dreams.  They had all died a quick death the day in which she’d discovered herself promised to a child.  A boy three years her junior who, honestly, might as well have been ten years her junior for all the maturity which he had possessed.

She hadn’t looked forward to marrying him.  Or to being intimate with him.  Yet she had still held out an odd hope that at some point, perhaps, her feelings would shift, and she could welcome him as her husband.  And not feel strange embracing him.

But Han Sung had died before such an occurrence could take place.  And they hadn’t been scheduled to marry for two more years.  How strange that now, because he’d died, she was marrying a year earlier than planned.  To a completely different sort of man.

One who…smelled divine.  She frowned as her eyes slid away from his, and she leaned closer to him and sniffed the hair at his temple.  Well, at least, as close as she could get to it.  Even on tiptoe, she was at least half a foot shorter than he.

What kind of soap did he use?  His scent was crisp and clean and reminded her of a forest of conifers.  She inhaled deeply and felt…

…comfort.

She closed her eyes and breathed in again.  And wondered if any scent had ever comforted her before.  She couldn’t remember one that had.  Yet here she was reveling in that consoling piney fragrance which was emanating from Dan Se.  Was it even possible that she could find solace in the arms of Han Sung’s brother?

Twice today she had felt that unfamiliar feeling in his presence.  A completely unexpected reaction to his quiet companionship.

Her father was quiet too.  Usually.  But in a wholly different sort of way.  Her father’s silence was…menacing.  She was always waiting for…punishment in his presence.

But Dan Se’s calm demeanor was peaceful.  Coaxing her to come closer to him.  So she did.  She took another step towards him.  Her eyes still closed.  Her face tilted upwards.  Suddenly, she bumped into his chest, and his arm came up to steady her.  His other hand was still resting over hers on his cheek.

He was gazing down at this fascinating creature.  She’d been all fire and ice when he’d first arrived.  Now she seemed to be containing a quiet wonder.  Like a sleeping child, her countenance was lifted towards his as though she were expecting him to fulfill a sweet dream. 

He blinked as he continued to drink in her beauty.  His eyes slid longingly along the sharp panes of her face.  Slipping joyously over her high cheekbones.  Now suffused by a subtle shade of pink.  Brushing up against the midnight fans of her curly lashes.  Then his gaze slid across her pale nose.  Was that a freckle on its tip?

His finger itched to touch it.  But he resisted such a silly impulse.  He was certain that the last thing this girl desired was to be touched by him.

So his gaze moved downward.  His eyes delving into the wide divot above her mouth.  Before softly brushing up against her rosy lips.  His gaze lingered on that beautiful mouth.

A mouth that was quite skilled at rebuking him.  Or twisting in derision at his unwelcome presence.  But which he wished to see soften with desire for him instead.  Or even just in…liking.

Would she really be able to tolerate him as her husband? 

Tolerate?

Who wanted to be merely tolerated by his wife?

Dan Se yearned for so much more than that.  But he had no better prospects than this girl.  And, truthfully, he wanted no other.

But…why was she leaning into him now?  And why were her eyes closed?  What was she expecting from him?

“Man Mi Sook,” he whispered.  “Are you all right?”

His words shocked her like a sharp slap or a cup of cold water splashing up against her face.  And her eyes flew open.

“Hmm?”

She’d been in a daze.  Brought on by his lovely scent.

“I was concerned that you had grown faint,” he murmured.

And her eyes collided with his.  How had she never before noticed how melodious was his deep voice?  Like his scent, it was oddly solacing.  Almost…rhythmic.

Suddenly, she realized that she was trapped by one of his arms again.  It was wrapped warmly around her once more.  His hand on her back.  Steadying her?

And her fingers were still fenced in by his other hand.  She glanced at that hand and dragged her thumb across his cheek.  Tenderly.

And felt something inside of her belly shift as the thumb on her back made a similar movement over the fabric of her robes.

“I am fine,” she whispered.

“Are you?” he asked sharply, surprising her. 

Her gaze flew to his.

“Are you really?” His eyes challenged her.

And she swallowed as she admitted – to herself, at least – that she was about as far from all right as she could get.

“Why did you ask about my cheek?” he suddenly whispered gruffly as her thumb slid across that soft surface again.

Her eyes were now riveted to his.  Though she wished to look away, she could not.

She cleared her throat.  “I remember the pain it suffered once in my presence.  Or more to the point, in the presence of your grandfather.”

He frowned momentarily.  Wondering of which instance she was now speaking.  His eyes slid away from hers. 

“It is fine,” he spoke crisply.  “I should go.  I will see you…at our wedding.”  His fingers fell away from hers as his other hand released her back, and he stepped towards the door.

“You did not answer my question.”  Her sharp voice stopped him.

He turned back towards her.  “What question?”

“What would Han Sung say?”

“I already told you.”

“Mmm.  So then, how do you plan to live the happy life that he would have dreamed of for you?”

He stared at her silently for a moment.  Then he spoke without inflection.

“I have absolutely no idea.”

A moment later, he bowed to her before turning around and walking briskly out the door.

This Post Has One Comment

  1. Lucia

    We they will certainly not be bored in their own company

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