Tia couldn’t bring herself to tell him. Not today. So she told him the other horrible truth that he didn’t know instead.
She inhaled deeply and buried her face in his strong chest, her words muffled by his shirt. He strained to hear her voice.
“My parents died when I was thirteen. They were shot in a convenience store robbery. They were shopping for Julieta’s fifteenth birthday party. But they never came home. They died in the store. Lying on the cold, hard floor.”
She had imagined it so many times. She’d dreamt about it too. More times than she could count. It haunted her still, ten years after the fact.
Tae pulled away from her, a stricken expression on his countenance. “What kind of a monster do you think I am that you believe I would reject you because of that?”
She’d hurt him. She could see it in his eyes. Instinctively, she knew his pain was twofold. Partly from the shock of learning her parents had died in such a horrific way when she was at such a tender age. But also partly because she didn’t believe in his love for her – that she believed less of him than he knew of himself. But, of course, that wasn’t even true. She didn’t think he’d reject her over her parents’ death. She knew he’d push her away when he found out she’d given her virtue away already.
So she sought to explain it another way. “No, Tae,” she whispered into his chest. “You misunderstand me. My heart is broken. I have nothing to give you. I can’t love. I’m frozen. My heart died with them. That’s why I just want to be friends.”
Liar! Liar! Liar! You are lying through your teeth, and you are breaking this boy’s heart!
When she was done condemning herself, she pulled away from him. At least, she tried to. But those arms were still locked securely around her. She glanced up at him to discover him gazing down at her intently, his exotic, chocolate eyes mesmerizing her momentarily even as they scared her.
“Tia. I don’t believe you. You’re lying to me right now.”
How on earth did he know that?
Her eyes grew large in her face. She discovered she’d lost her voice. She couldn’t find a single thing to say in her defense. So she finally tore her gaze away from him. She stared out across the park towards the shopping center on the other side of the trees.
“I don’t know why you’re lying to me, but you are. I’m certain of it. You’re still hiding something from me. And I’d wager it’s the real reason you think you’re not good enough for me. But I bet it’s a lie too. Only, it’s a lie you’re believing, not just trying to feed to me. So, out with it! What are you not telling me?”
How did he know?
She was panicking on the inside now. What was she going to do?
“Tae…please. Let me go. Just let me go,” she whispered desperately.
“No.” He buried his face in her hair. She could feel him breathing against her scalp. For a moment, she gave in to him. She closed her eyes and leaned against him and just let him hold her. It had been so long since a man had held her in his arms. Six long years. She felt the tears as they began to flow.
Tae felt them too. Something wet against his shirt. Then he realized she was shaking. She was crying so hard that she was vibrating. He kissed the top of her head right before he murmured, “It’s all right, Tia. It’s all right. It’s going to be all right, darling. Please don’t break your heart over it. Whatever it is. I can handle it. You are more precious to me than any secret you possess.”
His tenderness just made her sob harder. She leaned fully into him and let the tears flow in a violent flood that left her spent, exhausted by excessive emotion. When the storm was over, her head lay against his chest, her eyes closed, her heart finally slowing down. And Tae simply held her in the cold morning air, his arms firmly pressing her against him.
I love you, Tae. I love you. With all my heart. I love you.
She thought it over and over again. But she didn’t say it. She didn’t say a word.
