Rated M for Mature. This chapter deals with some difficult topics and involves some graphic situations.
Hobi was silent as he drove her home. He wasn’t sure what to say. He felt an odd kinship with this quiet, sardonic girl. He didn’t want to leave her. But life was like that. Especially his life. The only people who remained in his life for long were those he worked with. The other guys. Their staff. He sighed. He didn’t even see his own family as much as he would like. Oh, well. It was the price of living his dream. But what a steep price! Most days he didn’t even have the time to ponder the price. But for some reason, he felt it acutely today. He was beginning to feel sad.
After a few minutes, he pulled his car up in front of the residence located at the address she’d given him. He turned towards her. “Is this your home?”
She nodded. Neither of them knew what to say. After a few moments, Hobi offered, “I guess this is goodbye.”
She had promised herself she wouldn’t cry until she entered her house. But that vow was proving a challenge to keep.
Please. Please. I don’t want to cry as I’m saying goodbye to him!
“Thank you again, Hobi, for everything. I really enjoyed your concert. Especially your solo.”
He couldn’t really see her face. It was too dark out here. But he smiled at her anyway. Then he reached up to turn on the overhead light. His eyes found her own. Then his eyes hungrily slid over every pore of her face. He was memorizing every detail. He wished he could carry her home in his pocket.
“I’m going to miss you so much, Sakura! Does that make any sense?”
“I don’t know if it makes any sense, but I feel the same way.”
“Promise me something.” He was suddenly so serious.
She was feeling breathless for some unknown reason. “What?”
“Please take care of yourself. Eat. Food. Enjoy life. It’s a choice. You know? Choose to enjoy your life even if those around you don’t. I think they are too blind to see you. Or your worth. But I see you. You are precious, Sakura.”
So much for keeping her promises to herself! She felt the tears drop in a steady stream onto her cheeks as she blinked.
He was in earnest now. “PROMISE me, Sakura. Promise me.” Suddenly, he reached out and grabbed her hands with his own. He pulled them up to his lips and kissed her knuckles. On both hands. “You’re precious. You’re important. Your life matters. It’s a gift to the rest of us. And it’s meant to be treasured. Cherished. I cherish you. Please cherish yourself. Promise me you will stop hurting yourself.” He held her gaze as well as her hands.
She was shaking now. How did he know that she had been hurting herself? She thought of the cuts hidden underneath the wrist of her sweatshirt. Had her sleeve fallen down? She wanted to pull her hands away from his. But she resisted the impulse. She did, however, glance down at her wrist. She sighed with relief. Her shirt was still covering the wound.
Hobi’s eyes followed her gaze. “What is it, Sakura?”
“It just hurts so much, Hobi!” she suddenly burst out. “It makes me feel better. It lets the steam out, you know?”
He frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“What are you talking about?” she countered.
“Starving yourself. Your body needs nourishment, love, not starvation.”
“Oh,” she responded in a tiny voice.
Hobi was truly troubled now. “Sakura, what have you been doing to yourself?” A sudden suspicion crossed his mind. He released one of her hands but firmly held her left hand within his right grasp. Without warning, his left hand pulled up the sleeve of her shirt.
Panicking, she tried to pull away, but his grip on her hand was too great. Hobi’s heart sank as his eyes registered the cut marks on her forearm. He felt like throwing up. That she would cut her own flesh hurt his heart so badly. Suddenly, he was pulling her hand up towards his face. He bent over her wrist, and his lips found her wounds. He began to kiss them tenderly, his tears sliding down his lips to mix with his kisses, providing a healing balm for her raw flesh. And her injured heart.
“No, baby, no,” he sobbed over and over again as he dropped gentle kisses on the tender skin of her wrist. “No. Please, please, promise me that you’ll never do this again, Sakura. Your poor wrist.” He hiccupped as another sob overtook him. Now he really didn’t want to leave her. It didn’t even matter that the guys were waiting to eat dinner with him.
She sat frozen. Hobi had discovered one of her very worst secrets. But rather than being repulsed by it, he was mourning over her wounded arm. He was lavishing love on her tender skin. He was wooing her heart with his words, his tears, his touch.
“Stop,” she whispered. “Stop. You’re going to make me fall in love with you, Hobi. And then you’re going to leave me.”
He stilled, his lips remaining on her skin. She was falling in love with him. For real. This was a flesh-and-blood girl in front of him. One he had spoken to, locked eyes with, touched. Not some girl watching him on a screen from an ocean away. This girl was here with him right now. Moving his heart as he was touching hers. Why did she have to live here? In Japan?
“I will always be your friend, Sakura. Even when a sea separates us. I will always care about you. I will always want you to be kind to yourself.”
She didn’t know what to say, so she just sat in his car as tears rolled down her cheeks. She closed her eyes to concentrate on the feel of Hobi’s lips on her wrist. After a few more moments, he sat up and released her hand. Then she felt his fingertips sliding along her cheek. He cupped her jawline with his hand, his thumb brushing over the tear stains on her cheek.
“Promise me,” he whispered again.
She opened her eyes to gaze into his own. “I promise.”
