This story is dedicated to you if you have ever been abused by someone bigger, stronger, and seemingly more powerful than you. You are not alone. You are infinitely precious. And the trauma you endured is not your fault. Know that you are so loved. And whatever trauma you have been through – it does NOT define you. You are a beautiful rose, a lovely lily, a most precious gem.
Rated M for Mature. This story deals with some difficult topics and involves some graphic situations.
The next morning before she even crawled from bed, Stasia opened YouTube. She found some strength there. For Yoongi’s voice – his voice to her alone – was there now.
“I don’t know you, but I know your heart.
I can’t reach you, but I’ve felt your darts.
I can’t see you, but I hear your wounds echoing in my head.
They are there, in every word you ever said.
I can’t help you, but I want to right your every wrong.
So I’m praying that it won’t be long
Till you are free of his touch.
I think I could love you so much.”
He’d been true to his word. He had begun to love her. And to right her wrongs.
“Run to me, run to me – When you need a true friend.
Come to me, come to me – Till the very blue end.
Run to me, run to me – Tell me all your secrets.
Come to me, come to me – Just be brave to speak it.”
Yoongi was indeed a true friend. She had poured out her secrets to him. And he was still here. He had, in fact, been the one who had given her the courage to speak the truth. To stand up to the man who had abused her. To call him to account for his wrongdoing. Yoongi continued to stand by her side. And he had convinced his circle of friends to surround her too.
“Please tell me your name.
Show me your face.
I promise to be the same.
To still be your secret place.
Send me your address.
Wanna see you free from this mad mess.
Love, please, don’t give in to his anger.
Wanna see you free from this danger.”
She began to cry as she considered these lines. If she had only given him her name and address earlier, she might not have suffered so greatly. His friends had told her to stop mourning the past, to stop regretting those bad decisions, but it was difficult knowing that if she had reached out for help sooner, or more completely, she might not have been raped.
But Tae’s odd words of last night returned to her. “It’s not any more your fault than if someone sideswiped the car you were driving.”
Right behind Tae’s echoing voice came Namjoon’s, “Let’s put the blame squarely on the shoulders of the man who is completely responsible: Stasia’s ex-boyfriend.”
She closed her eyes as twin tears slid down her cheeks. Yoongi’s friends were wonderful. BTS had always been there for her. Now they were living up to their promise in ways she could never have dreamed.
“Come to me, come to me – My door’s always open.
Run to me, run to me – In the great wide open.
Come to me, come to me – I’ll be your safe harbor.
Run to me, run to me – I’ll be your blooming arbor,
I’ll be your scent of spring – After the end of everything.”
How well Yoongi was making these words true. He hadn’t just rescued her. He had also begun to give her a hope for her future. Yoongi was the promise that good lay ahead of her. That her life wasn’t over simply because of a few months of bad options and sorry decisions. Just because she’d been a victim once didn’t mean she couldn’t become a victor. She felt hope rising in her heart.
“I don’t know you, but I know your mind.
I can’t reach you, but I think I’ll try.
I can’t see you, but I know that you are walking on eggshells,
Searching for some peace, no answer in sight.
I can’t help you, but I know that you are walking through hell,
So I’m praying that you find some might
To free yourself from his touch.
I think I already love you so much.”
Yoongi hadn’t believed that he could reach her, but that hadn’t stopped him from trying. He had reached her. He had found her. He had, in fact, chased after her. He’d pursued her with his love, with his kindness. With goodness. With a burning desire to help her, to surround her with sweetness until she was completely healed. Yoongi had become the might that he had prayed she would find.
She smiled as she stretched, elongating her body in her bed. Then she yawned. Why did she still feel so tired? She rolled over and climbed from her bed. Time to find Yoongi. Her friend.
—
Over the next couple days, Stasia busied herself, with Yoongi’s help, packing up her apartment. She had decided that she would take Julieta up on her offer. Stasia didn’t want to be alone. She knew she would feel safer staying with those two kind girls.
Stasia and Yoongi spent almost the whole weekend packing up her belongings. He had to leave for a while to attend a couple practices with the guys, but Julieta and Tia had taken his place. Together, the three of them had cleaned out her entire kitchen and bedroom. By the end of Sunday evening, she and Yoongi were able to lean back against her couch and enjoy some lamb skewers, their reward for a job well done. Very little remained to pack up. Which was good. Tomorrow she’d be back at school.
—
Her song was everywhere now. Someone had made a color-coded video of it and put it on YouTube. Which was funny since it was only Yoongi’s song. But every time her courage began to falter, she would play his song again, and her heart would rise.
He gave her the courage to walk through that week. A week of waiting. Waiting on test results. Waiting to find out if she was pregnant. Waiting to see if she’d acquired some dread disease. Waiting…
