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This story is dedicated to you if you have ever been abused by someone bigger, stronger, and seemingly more powerful than you.  You are not alone.  You are infinitely precious.  And the trauma you endured is not your fault.  Know that you are so loved.  And whatever trauma you have been through – it does NOT define you.  You are a beautiful rose, a lovely lily, a most precious gem.

Rated M for Mature.  This story deals with some difficult topics and involves some graphic situations.

“So how do we make these amazing squares?” Yoongi questioned her.

“Here’s the recipe.  First, we make the shortbread cookie base by mixing one cup white flour, a half cup of brown sugar, a half cup of finely flaked coconut, and four and a half ounces of melted butter.  We mix it all together and press it into a lined seven-inch by eleven-inch pan.”

“So we line it with parchment paper?”

“Yes.  I forgot to buy some.  Maybe Julieta has some aluminum foil?”

Yoongi started going through drawers.  Finally, he found some.  While he was searching for the foil, Stasia unearthed her pan.  She had brought one from Australia just so that she could make this recipe.  She greased the pan, and then Yoongi prepared to line it with foil.

“In a pinch, foil works, but parchment paper is the best.  Oh!  Wait!  I probably have some in my kitchen boxes.”  She started rifling through one.  Suddenly, her head popped up as her hand rose high, triumphantly clutching a long box.  “Ha!  Found it!

She handed it to Yoongi, and he tore off a piece before lining the pan with it.  Together they mixed the cookie ingredients and then pressed the dough into the pan.

“I preheated the oven to three hundred fifty degrees.  We just need to bake it for fifteen minutes.  Then we’ll let it cool.  Sometimes I chill it first.  But today,” she wrinkled her nose up at him as she laughed, “since you’re eager to try these, we’ll skip that step and finish them as soon as we can.  If I don’t chill the cookie first, the caramel kinda soaks into the crust.  It’s good either way.”

Yoongi slid the pan into the oven and then set the timer.  “What’s next?”

Stasia put a small pan on the stovetop.  “Can you open the can of sweetened condensed milk?”

“So we don’t use evaporated milk?”  He picked up the can.  “Fourteen ounces,” he mumbled to himself, committing the recipe to memory, so he could make them for the guys to try. He thought Tae especially might like them.  Yoongi smiled as he thought of how much his friend enjoyed Honey Twists.

“No, we need all the sugar in the sweetened condensed milk to make the caramel.  I’m going to melt four and a half ounces of butter in the pan.  Then I’ll add a half cup of brown sugar.  Once it starts to bubble, we pour in the milk and stir it constantly for five minutes.  Then, we pour it over the crust and bake it for another twelve minutes.”

She melted the butter in the pan.  Then she turned off the burner.  “Let’s wait a few minutes to make the caramel since the cookie isn’t done baking yet.  I need to unpack my kitchen boxes anyway.”

“I’ll help you.  Just tell me where to put stuff.”

“Julieta is so sweet.  She emptied an entire drawer so that I could put all my utensils in one place.”

For the next few minutes, they loaded the drawer and put some other items in places around the kitchen.  Then the timer went off, and Yoongi removed the pan from the oven.  

“Does this look right?” 

He eyed the golden brown cookie.  It smelled heavenly.  He wanted to cut into it and eat a piece.  That was when he realized that Stasia had introduced a desire for sweetness into his life.

“Yep.  It’s perfect!  We’ll let it cool for a few minutes before we start the caramel.”

They finished unpacking her boxes before she began to make the filling for the cookie bars.

Yoongi watched her as she mixed the caramel in the pan. About three and a half minutes after she added the milk, he noticed it was beginning to bubble.  

“Is it almost done?”

She nodded.  “Yep.  Another minute or so.  We’re looking for it to be a pale gold and thick.  It should at least coat the back of the spoon.”

Once it did, she poured it over the cookie base and returned the pan to the oven to bake.  She set the timer for twelve minutes.  Her pale blond hair swung forward to obscure her face from his view as she leaned over the stove.  Then she turned around.  She caught Yoongi watching her.

“What is it?” she asked.  He had a funny expression on his face. 

“You’re adorable,” he breathed.

Her words echoed back to him.  Had she really grown her hair long just because of some lyrics he’d sung once in a song?  It was a little scary.  Having that much influence over a stranger.

She just stared at him.  No guy had ever said those words to her before.  She felt herself blushing.  Embarrassed, she turned away to run hot water into the pan.  She washed it quickly before setting it in the drain to dry.

Yoongi smiled.  Was she embarrassed that he thought she was cute?  He wanted to walk up behind her and slip his arms around her waist and draw her close to him.  He would bury his face in her neck and…

He let his thoughts drift away.  He couldn’t act on any of those impulses yet.  He wondered briefly what she would do if he did slip his arms around her from behind.  He contemplated what she would feel.  Would it be good?  Or would such an action remind her of her abuser?  Yoongi had no idea.  He sighed and turned away to gather up the other dirty dishes and utensils, then he carried them to the sink.  

“I’ll wash these.  What’s our next step?”

“We need to melt the chocolate, but not until the caramel sets in the fridge.”

“Mannnnn…I thought they were going to be ready soon.”  He could practically taste their sugary goodness already.

She smiled.  “Not yet.”

A few minutes later, the dishes were all clean, and the timer sounded.  Yoongi pulled the pan from the oven.  He gazed down at the baked caramel.  It was spotty with dark, golden bubbles.

“Is it supposed to look like this?”

She glanced at the pan.  “Yep.  Once again, perfect!  Let’s double check.”  She shook the pan and it jiggled slightly.  “Yes.  That’s good!  Now we need to cool it for about forty minutes.  We want the caramel to be firm before we add the chocolate.”  She popped the pan into the fridge.

They busied themselves unpacking her stuff in the bedroom she was sharing with Tia.  After forty minutes, she checked the pan.  It was still warm on the bottom, but the caramel was firm.

“Let’s make the chocolate topping.”

Yoongi handed her seven ounces of semi-sweet chocolate chips.  She melted them in the microwave, stirring after one minute of cooking.  Then she put them in for another ten seconds.  Finally, they smoothed out when she stirred them.  

“Yoongi, can you pour in a tablespoon of vegetable oil?”

He did, and she stirred the oil in until a thin, smooth chocolate formed.  Then she had him remove the pan from the fridge.  She poured the chocolate over the top.

“Now we need to refrigerate it to let the chocolate set.”

Yoongi groaned.  “More waiting?”

It echoed back to her, reminding her that she was still waiting on some test results.  She was also still waiting for her day in court.  Her stomach flipped over.  

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”  Yoongi could tell she was upset.

“More waiting… I’m still waiting for more results, Yoongi.  I’m waiting to face Eun in a courtroom.  Before a judge and jury.”  She glanced up at him.  “I’m nervous.  Sometimes, I’m able to push it all away for a little while.  To leave the trauma in last week.  Where it belongs.  Then suddenly, something triggers it, and I find that I’m carrying it again.  This is just such a moment.”

Yoongi put the pan in the fridge.  Then he turned around and walked towards her.  

“Come here.”  

He reached for her, drawing her into his arms.

She came to land against his chest, her face pressed into the fabric over his heart.  She could hear his steady heartbeat.  It served to remind her that she was no longer alone.  She didn’t have to face any test results by herself.  She wouldn’t have to stand up against Eun alone ever again.  She sighed into Yoongi’s heart.

He bent his head and dropped a kiss in her hair.  Once again, he saw himself covering her in kisses. This time, he didn’t resist the impulse.  He called her name.  She lifted her head to look at him.

He bent his head towards her and planted a kiss on her forehead.  Drinking in his tenderness, she closed her eyes.  Her heart was sighing.  Then his lips found her left temple, and she froze.  He was communicating such deep gentleness to her that she felt herself stilling inside.  Where she had been spinning out of control a few moments before, now she was at rest.  His lips reached her cheekbone in a series of tiny pecks that were releasing butterflies in her stomach.  He lingered there on her cheek for a few moments before blazing a trail down to her mouth.  But he stopped before he could claim her lips.  He still didn’t feel right about that.  Not yet.

Then he lifted his head as his arms tightened around her.  She relaxed and lay her head back down against his chest.  She sighed with bliss.  Now, the memory invading every sense was Yoongi’s tender touch all along the curve of her face.

He held her silently for several moments.  He had no idea that his touch was healing her.  That he was replacing evil memories with beautiful ones.  

After a while, he whispered, “Is there anything else you need to unpack?”

“Not really.”  She shook her head.  “Want to watch a drama with me?”

“Sure,” he responded a little regretfully.  He didn’t want to release her.  

She pulled away from him, but she reached for his hand, interlacing her fingers with his and drew him towards the living room.  They plopped down next to each other on the couch.  Hips bumping.  Shoulders touching.  Fingers still interlocked.  Yoongi tried to concentrate on the TV show, but he couldn’t.  He was too aware of the beautiful girl next to him.

Then he thought about what she’d been through.  He was horrified to contemplate any man treating this precious girl with such blatant disrespect.  It was even worse than that.  It was an act of total dishonor.    It was degradation.  Stealing a girl’s priceless self-worth for a few moments of power and rage.  A desire for absolute control over someone else.  To their shame.

But he was determined that Stasia not stay in the pit that guy had shoved her into.  Yoongi wanted to wipe away every stain.  To blot out every blot.  To help her see that she was still flawless to him.

Stasia couldn’t concentrate on the drama either.  Her mind was always wandering these days.  Too often it revisited the horror of last week and the months that had led up to it.  Her thoughts condemned her for not fleeing sooner.  Her stomach was often in knots.  Roiling with regret.  “If only I…” was a constant refrain.  It marched through the hallways of her mind like a little drummer bent on driving her insane.  

But in this moment, such thoughts were silent.  Her whole being was focused on three points of contact: Yoongi’s hand threaded with her own, the brush of his shoulders against hers, the warm spot where his hip pressed into hers.  It all felt like intimate contact, but it didn’t scare her.  She felt safe with Yoongi.  He wouldn’t even kiss her mouth yet.  She had no fear of him trespassing against her person.  Rather, she felt completely enveloped by love and comfort when she was with him.  He truly had become her safe place.   She wasn’t sure what that looked like going forward, but she was so grateful for him.  So thankful for these moments with him.  She was drawing tremendous courage simply from his presence.  Did he know that he released comfort to her with his every breath?