This story is dedicated to you if you have ever been abused by someone bigger, stronger, and seemingly more powerful than you. You are not alone. You are infinitely precious. And the trauma you endured is not your fault. Know that you are so loved. And whatever trauma you have been through – it does NOT define you. You are a beautiful rose, a lovely lily, a most precious gem.
Rated M for Mature. This story deals with some difficult topics and involves some graphic situations.
“Namjoon, what’s that sound?” Breeze asked abruptly, turning towards him as they got up from the dinner table.
He froze. Then a suspiciously innocent look came over his face. “What sound?”
Breeze narrowed her eyes. “Coming from your pocket.” Her gaze honed in on his right jeans pocket.
A look of unease crossed his features. “Nothing.”
“You’re holding out on me, aren’t you, Joonie?” she pouted.
Jin asserted, “I know that sound too. You know, if Julieta liked gummy bears, I would share half my bag with her.”
Julieta sent him a sweet look.
Jimin piped up, “I heard it too, Namjoon. All I can say is that if I were blessed enough to have Eireen here with me, I would definitely share my snacks with her.”
Namjoon sighed and reached into his pocket, pulling out an open bag of gummy bears. He placed it into Breeze’s hand.
“You know how much I love these, and you didn’t offer me any?” She was gazing up at him with wide eyes.
“You can have them all.”
Breeze shoved them back into his pocket. “It’s okay. I don’t need them.” Then she picked up some plates and carried them out to the kitchen.
Jungkook’s gaze slid sideways. Hyejin was sitting next to him, but she hadn’t said one word to him since they’d sat down. He’d been silent. It appeared he and his mentor were both having girl problems.
Jungkook felt decidedly uncomfortable. He was embarrassed that he hadn’t told his friends about Hyejin. And that they had discovered her presence without his input. And invited her tonight only to discover that they were just “friends.”
It was news to him. Sort of. Actually, she’d confirmed for him the very thing he’d been worrying over for months. Did she really like another guy? Was her mysterious “friend” to whom she’d alluded back in October a guy she’d found herself attracted to during his own absence?
He’d never found the courage to ask her about that friend. Now, he wished he had. Maybe he wouldn’t have wasted several months of his life hanging out with a girl who considered him only friend material. He sighed. His heart was broken. He felt sick. He wanted to go home.
He glanced across the table at Tae. His friend was too busy flirting with Tia to even notice Jungkook’s misery. Jungkook looked down at his empty plate. Then he made a decision. It was an easy one. He was used to serving others.
He stood up and began to clear the table. No one even looked at him. They were all used to his sweet servant heart. So he gathered up the dishes without garnering anyone’s notice. With one exception.
Her heart in her eyes, Hyejin was staring at him. Too bad he didn’t meet her gaze. He might have noticed the vulnerability in her countenance if he had. But he was too busy paying attention to the plates he was stacking to notice her.
No, that wasn’t true. He was avoiding her gaze. He’d had his heart stepped on enough tonight. He was just trying to figure out how he could quietly sneak out of the house without anyone noticing.
Arms laden with dishes, Jungkook walked into the kitchen. Then he realized he could avoid everyone if he washed those dishes, so he set to work filling the sink with soapy water. A couple minutes later, he was up to his elbows in warm water. He stared out the window over the sink as he scrubbed at the plates with a wet sponge.
The truth was that he had begun to feel insecure about his relationship with Hyejin in October. Then he’d begun to pull away from her. He and the guys had been very busy producing music and practicing dance moves in preparation for comeback. It had been easy to back away from her. He didn’t have a lot of time to hang out with her anyway. But the real reason wasn’t his work schedule. It was his fear that Hyejin had found someone better than him.
Maybe he wasn’t boyfriend material. He’d grown up in a room full of boys. Without a mother during most of his teenage years. What did he know of women? He was adored by ARMY. But they didn’t really know him.
Also, how could he compete with a man who could be there every day with Hyejin? Jungkook imagined her cooking that other guy dinner every night. Except for the nights her boyfriend took her out to dinner to give her a break from cooking. They’d take long walks through the park in the evening and watch the sun set. They’d play with 22. Jungkook felt another jealous pang. He loved that slobbery dog. Almost as much as he loved his owner.
“Kookie?” It was Hyejin.
“What?” he asked gruffly.
His voice sounded funny. How she loved his voice! How she missed his voice! But tonight, something was very wrong.
“Kookie, why are you out here all alone? I would have come to help you wash dishes if you had just told me what you were doing.”
But he hadn’t. He hadn’t said one word to her for the last half hour.
