This story is dedicated to you if you have ever been abused by someone bigger, stronger, and seemingly more powerful than you. You are not alone. You are infinitely precious. And the trauma you endured is not your fault. Know that you are so loved. And whatever trauma you have been through – it does NOT define you. You are a beautiful rose, a lovely lily, a most precious gem.
Rated M for Mature. This story deals with some difficult topics and involves some graphic situations.
It had been a month. Yoongi and Stasia had been friends for a month. At least, they’d met a month ago. On February 25. He had bided his time with her. He had spent as much time as possible simply being with her. A strong, comforting presence reminding her that she wasn’t alone. He often held her close to his heart, but he had never kissed her lips. Sometimes, he would kiss her cheek tenderly. Or her forehead. But he was waiting to kiss her lips…
Tonight, he had taken her to dinner at their favorite restaurant. A nice, elegant dinner complete with white linen tablecloth and napkins, wine goblets, and real silverware. Even black chopsticks. Yoongi wanted to celebrate her in style.
They sat silently observing each other over the flames of three brilliantly lit candles. Over the last two weeks, they had delved into some deep waters together, conversationally speaking. Yoongi had shared the details of many of his life struggles with her. He had been transparent concerning his fall into depression and his battle with anxiety. He had admitted that, although most of the time he was much calmer now, occasionally an evil thought came to attack him again. He spoke of some of the strategies that he used to combat these troubling thoughts. He was trying to lend her his own strength for the war he knew she was currently fighting.
She had shared that she often slept with the lights on because when she lay down in the darkness, Eun was there again smashing her into the mattress. So she’d been sleeping on Julieta’s couch to avoid disturbing Tia. She would wait until they had both gone to bed before lying down on the couch, leaving both the television and the lights on all night long. She didn’t sleep very soundly then due to the lights and sound. But it was more peaceful than lying in the darkness. Every morning, Julieta and Tia would find Stasia sound asleep on the couch.
“Julieta told me yesterday to set up my yo bed in the living room. She and Tia have finally given in to my needs both for light and to not disturb their sleep,” Stasia commented quietly as she studied the menu.
She had refused to stay in Tia’s room after the first few days because she needed the light, and she didn’t want to keep Tia awake. Tia had kindly offered to leave her lamp on, but Stasia knew her new friend would not sleep well with a light shining in her room all night long. After two weeks of this situation, Julieta had determined that Stasia was exhausted from sleeping on an uncomfortable couch for two long weeks. And she didn’t seem to be getting better. On the nights when Yoongi couldn’t visit, Julieta had noticed that Stasia was more depressed. She often caught her sobbing in the bathroom. Julieta wasn’t sure how to help her. She knew from experience the pain of sudden death. And she recognized that rape was a form of it. It would be a while before life again began to carry much hope for Stasia. In the meantime, Julieta and Tia were determined to do everything they could to help her heal.
Yoongi glanced at Stasia. He was grateful to both Julieta and Tia for their sensitivity to her. And very happy to know that at least now she’d have a comfortable bed to sleep in. Maybe she’d finally start to get some decent sleep.
He cleared his throat as he studied his menu. He was nervous. He really wanted to tell Stasia that he loved her. And he had the distinct impression that she needed to hear it tonight. It was hard to believe that he hadn’t said it yet. He’d felt it for so long with such passionate strength. But he’d been giving her some space to recover. He hadn’t wanted to pressure her. But now he realized that might be stupid at this point. Stasia needed all the unconditional love he could muster. So he had decided tonight was the night!
They ate a quiet dinner together. Yoongi watched her like a hawk, making sure she ate every bite. When she had finished, he tempted her. “Want some dessert?”
Suddenly, she grinned at him. “Do they have caramel slices here?” She laughed, knowing they didn’t.
But Yoongi suddenly waved at the waiter. A moment later, he set a crimson tin down in front of her. It had a white bow on top. The waiter bowed and disappeared. Stasia glanced up at Yoongi.
“What is this?”
He grinned, revealing a great expanse of pink gums surrounding his pearly whites. “Open it and find out.”
She pulled the lid off and laughed as she gazed down at an entire tin full of caramel slices. “Yoongi! Did you make these?”
Proudly, he nodded. “All by myself. Though, Jungkook and Tae insisted on sampling them to ensure I wasn’t going to poison you.”
She laughed again. “What was the verdict?”
“Well, you have before you the evidence…”
She reached in and pulled one out. She took a bite and smiled as her eyes fluttered shut. She was savoring the sweet morsel. “Thank you so much, Yoongi! It’s delicious!”
He relaxed. He’d managed it. The perfect gift.
That was what she was to him.
