“What else are you afraid of?” Cami wondered.
Her new friend responded a few moments later.
“I’m afraid of disappointing my parents. I’m afraid of failing. I’m good at what I’m doing now. But it’s only because I’ve poured so much hard work into it. Hours of sweat and effort. Little sleep. Sometimes, little food. Hours studying. Days practicing. Months of hard work. Sometimes…I just want a break. You know?”
Boy, did she ever! Homework was exhausting. Often unrelenting. She just wanted to rest. To relax. To feel some peace.
“So…how do you take a break?” Cami asked.
“Oftentimes, I don’t. But sometimes, I sit down, and I write my feelings out in a new song. That, at least, makes me feel better for a while.”
“Are you working on any songs now?”
“Yeah.”
Cami waited, but I’m just Real Me didn’t elucidate.
“Do you want to share it with me?”
Maybe she shouldn’t have asked that. But she’d already pressed the send button. Once again, Instagram would have been a better option. She could have recalled the message if she were on insta. But on Twitter, it was just gone. Out in the stratosphere. Circling the earth to drop into the DM box of her new friend…whose name she still didn’t know.
“Ok,” came her unexpected reply. “But first…who’s your bias?”
“Namjoon,” Cami was quick to answer.
“Ah, the fearless leader,” came the sardonic response. “Why Namjoon?”
“Hmm. That’s a hard question to answer. I have so many reasons.”
“Start with one.”
But Cami ignored that request to ask a question of her own. “Who is your bias?”
“Anyone but Namjoon.”
“What? Why?” Cami felt defensive now.
“I admire Jungkook because he’s good at everything, and he gives himself one hundred percent to everything he does. I like Tae because he isn’t afraid to be different. I’m fond of Jimin because he keeps trying until he achieves perfection. Hobi is the life of the party and always makes me smile. He helps me not take myself so seriously. Yoongi is a genius on his keyboard. And his deep thoughts move me. Jin always makes me laugh. He reminds me that life is meant to be enjoyed.”
“So…why not Namjoon? Why don’t you like him?”
I’m just Real Me fired off three text messages in a row, but all of them disappointed Cami.
“I’m working hard to love Namjoon. But sometimes all I can see are his mistakes. He’s too clumsy sometimes. No matter how hard he tries not to be. It’s disappointing. Will he ever get it right?
“And I think he doesn’t work hard enough. Being the leader of a band as big as BTS has become is a lot of responsibility. Namjoon can’t afford to be a kid. He can’t take a break. He has to fully embrace being an adult.
“He has risen to a place of tremendous influence. It’s scary, but he can’t let that stop him from being the best Namjoon he can be. But that doesn’t leave him any room for mistakes. The whole world is watching. He has to do a good job.”
Cami launched her own attack.
“Don’t you think you’re a little hard on him? What about the others? They’re all in a position of influence too. Why don’t you put a little pressure on them too? Or cut Namjoon a break?”
Cami could feel irritation rising in her soul. Who did this I’m just Real Me think she was anyway? To judge Namjoon so harshly? He needed her kindness. He needed her prayers. He needed her love. Not her harsh judgments.
Namjoon was working so hard to be an upstanding individual. He was fighting to be the best person he could be. Everyone should just cut him some slack. The man deserved a break.
He had been so kind to so many. He had wrestled with his newfound position. He’d fought to stay humble and to stand up for what was right. He just wanted to help people.
He just wanted to feed people – girls like Cami – hope. So why was her new friend picking on him? Maybe Cami didn’t need a new friend as badly as she had thought she did.
