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Mari fell asleep snuggled against Tae’s chest.  Just as he desired her to.  Laying on his side was the best position right now away.  And he was ignoring the pain where she brushed up against his belly.  He’d suffer through it to hold her tonight.  He lay awake for a long time that night just breathing in her scent.  The apples were still with him.  

His mind replayed every word she’d said to him.

Good morning, husband.

I’m sorry I landed you in this trouble.  I’m sorry I stole your choice from you.

He’d never had a choice.  Not really.  The king often chose a wife for a man in his position.  And Moonflower was too highborn to have ever become his wife.  She could never have been his.  He had always known it.  

Still, he was shocked to discover that he had been married off to a former slave.  His station required a woman of a higher rank.  But he found that he truly did not want anyone else.  There was something very compelling about Mari and her courage.  And her kind heart.  She was not a stranger to sacrifice.  Even if she was unfamiliar with compassion.  Receiving it, anyway.  She was very good at dishing it out.

You’ll make a wonderful husband.

Those words still did strange things to his insides.  And to his heart.  No one had ever spoken with such confidence in him before.  Her words meant even more to him than the king’s words of praise for his service and of faith in his loyalty.  How could the sentiments of a tiny slip of a girl he’d just met mean more to him than the commendation of his oldest – and his highest ranking – friend?

I did not get stuck with you.  Don’t you know you’re every woman’s dream?

You are a noble man.  You nearly died for me.  I could not find a finer man to marry if I searched the whole of the kingdom.

She had too high an opinion of him.  

Why?  What had he done to deserve her admiration?  Was it simply because he’d taken the beating for her?  What man would have let an innocent woman suffer so?

Yet…he had to admit that most men he knew would not have lifted one finger to prevent her suffering.  Let alone borne it for her.

But you are clearly in love with another woman.  I cannot compete with that.  I have no wish to.

How could he have let his love for Moonflower slip through his lips in front of Mari?  It had been so callous of him.  He’d clearly broken her heart.  Broken the heart of a girl whose back had already been ripped to shreds by another man.  What part of her had now escaped unscathed by any man?

It’s very plain you do not desire me.  And I think, for my part, a life of celibacy would be easier than living with a man who desires another.  I cannot give my body to a man who would cast aside my heart.

She was very plain spoken.  But the truth was that as he held her in his arms tonight, he couldn’t have said that he didn’t desire her.  It wasn’t as simple as that.  Could he love one woman and desire another?  Apparently so.  But it wasn’t fair to either of them.  And Mari didn’t want only his desire.  She wanted his love too.  Moonflower didn’t want him at all. 

You don’t have a very high opinion of me, do you?  How many men do you think I’ve entertained in my chambers?

Perhaps, she truly had no notion how breathtakingly beautiful she was.  Or how many men must have desired her.  And pursued her.  Or at least, would have if they had been given the chance.

I have no lover.  

I have never entertained any men in my bed.  You are the only one who has ever slept in my bed at all.

What a privilege.  To share a bed with her.  With a girl who cared so much about him.  And who had taken such good care of him.  And was so easy on his eyes.  

Who needs love when they have marriage?  

Clearly, she did.  And honestly, he wanted it too.  He desired a loving marriage.  He wanted his wife to be his friend as well as his lover.

I would rather have a husband who was a lover.

She wanted it all.  She wanted him to want her and to adore her.  Tae sighed.  Could he come to that point?  He had already found much to admire in her character.  And much to pity in her life.  

He sighed.  She did not want his pity.  She wanted his love.  She desired his heart.  Wasn’t that what all women wanted?

Not Moonflower.  She’d wanted only his loyalty.  His friendship.  She had wanted Yoongi’s heart.  And she had won it with her calm demeanor and her quiet spirit.  

Mari was feistier than Moonflower.  Which, really, was a miracle considering all she had suffered at the hands of men.  What had given her the boldness to sit on him the other night to prevent him from leaving her room and killing himself in his haste to help the king?  

But he knew the answer to that question.  It was her great, big heart.  She had already cared about him enough to try to mend his broken head and protect him from the consequences of his own foolish impulses.  Even after the dilemma she’d found herself in with Jungkook.  Still, she had risked all yet again to save the life of a stranger.  Yes, there was much to admire in her heart.  But she couldn’t see it, apparently.

I’m just sorry for you that you got stuck with me.  I recognize that I would be no man’s first choice.

I know you didn’t choose to marry me.  That you would never have chosen me.  You were forced into a corner.  

She didn’t think much of herself at all.  But given how she’d been treated from the beginning, that was hardly surprising.  Born a slave.  Possibly orphaned?  As a child, she’d been whipped by her cruel master.  Then, somehow, at thirteen she’d been set free and come to live in the palace.  Just in time to be despised by another powerful man.  

She’d then lived in obscurity for four years.  Only to be brought back into the cruel limelight by his own calamity.  He sighed.  She’d known a very sad life.  And now she found herself in what she deemed to be a loveless marriage.  How her heart must be aching for affection!

You cannot want me.  Not really.  Certainly not now that you know the truth.  That I’m horribly disfigured.  I’m hideous.  I know it.

But she wasn’t horribly disfigured.  Her beautiful face was flawless.  Her figure was sublime.  Only her back had been damaged.  Yet it was covered nearly all the time.  Only brought out into the light when she bathed.  And when she lay in bed with him.  

But he loved her back.  It was proof of her courage.  Of her indomitable spirit.  He had studied every line and curve of that beautiful back in her dimly lit chamber.  His fingers had slid along each contour.  His lips had tasted her lovely skin.  He couldn’t wait till he could do it all again.  

No, she wasn’t ugly at all…not even her scars.  They were beautiful to him.

You want me?  

He did.  He was sure of it.  As he bent his head and inhaled her glorious scent – as he clung to her and felt her warmth invading his heart as well as his body – he was certain of one thing.  He wanted Mari.  He was so glad she’d become his wife.

But…you love Moonflower.

I don’t really understand how you could want a broken girl like me…

The question was: could he come to love Mari?  If he devoted himself to her and spent time getting to know her, could he turn his own heart away from one he could never have to the girl who had been thrust into his arms?  Could he love Mari?  Not just desire her?

I’ve never been with a man.  I’m scared.

Her simple admission – and her aching vulnerability – had broken his heart.  And made him want to wrap himself around her and protect her.  From all her fears.  Even the ones that concerned him. 

She had learned from a very young age to expect cruelty from men.  Taehyung must show her that men could also exhibit tenderness.  He needed to convince her that she could trust in his gentleness.  He must shower her with affection.

He tightened his hold on her and bent to sniff in her essence one more time.  Then he floated off to sleep.   Borne on dreams of his grandpa’s apple orchards.  This time, a tiny slip of a girl with long, gleaming tresses was climbing those trees with him.  She was laughing up at him as he sank his teeth into a crisp, crimson apple.  

Even her breath smelled like apple blossoms in that magical place.  And her dark eyes were dancing with joy.  He found that he never wanted to leave that special space.  He wanted to dance in her laughter forever.  Eternally surrounded by the song of her delight in him.