Her mind went spiraling back to last Thursday. She’d stood in her bathroom staring down in horror at that little stick. The one with the two pink lines. And she’d sobbed her heart out for all she’d lost. For all she had willingly given up.
For she loved Jin. But now, she also loved Seungbin. And she had given herself to him. And gotten pregnant. Without Jin’s knowledge. He didn’t even know they were friends now. Or that Seungbin had kissed her. Certainly not that he had…touched her. And given her a baby.
She had to tell Seungbin. That had been her first thought. She’d walked to his house. He’d answered the door and pulled her inside. His lips already devouring hers. He had an appetite that startled her sometimes. Mostly because she felt an answering passion in herself.
She’d allowed him to kiss her for a few moments. But then, moved by her pounding heart, which she was afraid would explode if she didn’t tell him soon, she had pulled away from him.
“Seungbin, I have some news.”
He’d stared blankly at her. “Okay.”
“Shocking news.” She’d winced. “I’m pregnant.”
He’d just stared at her. Speechless. Then he’d glanced at her belly. “Is it mine?”
Those words had been sharp shards that had penetrated her heart with an awful pain.
“Of course, it’s yours!” she’d cried out, clearly affronted. “You know I haven’t slept with Jin. Or anyone else. Only you.”
His lips had curved into a satisfied smile then. One that had, for some reason, chilled her. “Good.”
Then he’d reached for her again. His lips had found hers, but she had instantly pulled away from him.
“Seungbin, you don’t have anything else to say?”
He had shrugged. “You’re pregnant. It’s a done deal, right? We might as well enjoy each other. You can’t get more pregnant, can you?”
Her heart had rent in half then. She’d torn herself from his arms and run out his door. Sobbing, she’d stumbled home. Thankfully, no one had been there. She’d hidden herself away in her bedroom. Suddenly terrified of the future.
She’d lain down on her bed that day and realized that she had lost everything of value to her because she’d given in to the temptation of Seungbin. She no longer deserved Jin. Perhaps she never had. For her eyes had been straying towards the broken boy for years now. And she’d followed his brokenness and look where it had led her. Now she was broken too.
She had wept bitterly. How could she ever tell Jin how she had betrayed him? The ultimate betrayal. She’d given his worst enemy the very thing she had been unwilling to give him until they married.
But that would never happen now. She’d given her gift away. And she would never marry Jin now. There was no way she could. She couldn’t saddle him with another man’s child. The child of his archenemy.
Jin had often called Seungbin that jokingly. But it seemed true enough now. She felt like she was caught between the pages of a comic book. Except that none of them – not Jin or Seungbin or herself – had superpowers. But the plot was strategic enough. Seungbin had seduced the girlfriend of his archenemy and gotten her pregnant with his child. Wreaking vengeance on Jin in the worst way possible.
Had Seungbin planned it all out? Had he enticed her on purpose? Had he wept that day in the stairwell knowing full well that she could not resist another’s tears? Had it all been plotted out in advance to rip her away from Jin?
Did it matter?
There was no going back now. She’d have to raise this baby alone. The future was, indeed, terrifying. She’d never go to college now. At best, she’d get a job in retail or as a waitress. How would she ever make enough to support her child?
How would she tell her parents?
She lay in bed weeping bitterly. Until her phone buzzed. She glanced down at it. Seungbin had texted her.
“Please open your front door.”
Five words that felt like they were sent from heaven. He had come after her. Her heart rose. And so did she. She left her room and headed for the front of her house. She opened the door. And he rushed in with a bouquet of tulips in his hand.
“I am so sorry, Yura! I was just in shock. Of course, I’m thrilled you’re having my baby!”
She just stared at him. “How on earth can you be thrilled? We’re still in high school. And I’ll never go to college now!” she wailed.
He’d reached for her then. “That’s okay, baby. I’ll take care of you.”
She’d gazed up at him. “How?”
“I wasn’t going to go to college anyway. My dad’s in construction. As soon as school is over, I’m going into business with him. Demolition and building stuff. I love it. And I’ll make good money. You won’t lack for anything. I promise you.” Then he’d glanced down at her belly. He set his hand tentatively over it. “And neither will our baby.”
She’d furrowed her brow. “What are you saying?”
He’d glanced back up into her eyes. “Well…isn’t it obvious? I want you to marry me, Yura.” He looked back down at her tummy. “And then we can raise this little cutie together.”
Her heart had flipped over in her chest. Seungbin had sounded so happy.
“You’re happy I’m pregnant?”
“I’m happy you’re mine,” he’d whispered. Right before his lips had claimed hers in a sweet kiss. Which might have led them to her bedroom.
—
Seungbin might have come to terms with her pregnancy. But Jin hadn’t.
He lowered stricken eyes to her waist. “You’re pregnant?” His eyes searched hers suddenly. “With-with Seungbin’s child?”
She just stared at him as her eyes filled with tears. “Oh, Jin, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know how to tell you! I wanted to so many times, but-“
“So many times?” His eyebrow flew northward. “How long have you been with him?”
“With him?”
“Sleeping with him!” he burst out, making her back up. “Or…anything with him.” His heart was breaking in both his eyes and his voice.
“I-I started spending time with him three months ago. I kissed him two months ago. Then I—”
“Stop.” He held up his hand. “I get the picture.” He hung his head. Then his eyes found hers again as he mourned, “Why, Yura? Why? I just don’t understand. How could you…with him?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered. “I never meant to hurt you. It started out innocently enough. I overheard him weeping. His mother had been given a couple weeks to live. I just gave him a hug to make him feel better. But then she died, and he invited me to the funeral…” Her voice trailed off.
His head came up, and his eyes narrowed. “When?”
“Ten weeks ago.”
His eyes grew wide. “The day you were sick? You told me you were sick! But you were at her funeral?”
She nodded.
“Why did you lie to me? Why didn’t you just tell me the truth? I would have gone with you!”
She faced him squarely. “Would you? You’ve always hated him.”
“So have you!” His eyes probed hers, but he didn’t like what he saw in them. “Haven’t you?”
“I – I felt bad for him. He was so broken up about his eomma. And he has no friends. He seemed so lonely. He…”
Something in her voice – and her gaze – alerted him. “You kissed him that day?”
She shook her head. “No. He kissed me,” she finished lamely.
As Jin stood there with his head hanging down, his dejection pierced her heart. “I’m so sorry, Jin,” she whispered again. “I’m so sorry. I…we’re getting married.”
His eyes collided with hers, and she saw the full extent of his devastation. His heart was breaking.
“Don’t. Don’t marry him. Marry me. Our plans don’t have to change.”
She gasped as her heart was overrun by the flood of his love. It was pouring out of his eyes. But she was also swamped by her own guilt. She looked up at him incredulously.
“Jin! I slept with the guy you hate the most in all the world! And I got pregnant! You’re willing to just sweep all that under the carpet and call another man’s child your own?”
“He’ll be your child. Of course, I would love your child.”
“My God, Jin! I could never do that to you! You are too wonderful!” She began to sob.
His whole world – and all his dreams – were crumbling to the ground around him. Seungbin had set fire to everything. Only the ashes were left to blow around his head.
“How is this happening?” he whispered. He lifted stricken eyes to meet hers. “How did this happen? I thought you loved me?” It was a question. Not a statement.
“I did. Once. I do. I…”
And she thought back to how it all began…
She had met Jin in the second grade. The same year they’d met Seungbin. She still remembered the incident that had cemented her friendship with Jin. It had cemented something else. Jin’s hatred of Seungbin.
She had been getting a drink at the water fountain. Jin had been walking down the hallway on his way to the restroom when out of nowhere Seungbin had come catapulting into her. He’d shoved her face into the flowing stream of water. Then, he’d backed away laughing as tiny Yura had stood to her full height, water streaming down her face and soaking her long, dark braids. Jin had rushed up to her.
“Are you okay?” had asked the wide-eyed seven-year-old.
Her eyes equally as wide, she had nodded her head. Before lifting her hands to wipe the water from her cheeks. But Jin had not been satisfied. He had turned around and barreled into Seungbin, pummeling him with his tiny fists.
“What kind of a jerk are you to go after a defenseless girl?” he’d howled at the rude boy.
They’d both gotten in big trouble for fighting at school. But Seungbin had been the one left with a black eye. That, from Jin’s point of view, he completely deserved. From that moment forward, Yura and Jin had been inseparable. He had been her hero.
And Seungbin had been her tormentor. As often as possible, he would find her alone and tease her. He’d pull her braids. And rip her school papers. And hide her backpack. He spent years trying to get her attention.
And Jin spent years defending her. And loving her.
He’d confessed his love for her the first time at thirteen. She remembered it clearly. They’d gone on an overnight trip to Seoul with their classmates. They’d been visiting the university.
Jin had found a few moments to steal her away to the beautiful garden on the grounds of the college. They’d been outside eating lunch with everyone else. He’d told her to meet him under the cherry blossom tree near the cafe. She had, and he had taken her hand and pulled her away from there. And carried her into a world of indescribable beauty.
The cherry blossom trees had been in full bloom that bright spring day. And the fragrance in the air had been heavenly. Wrapping around her head and making her dream beautiful dreams. Jin had clung to her hand, his fingers sliding around hers. He had gazed down at her like she was the one who had set the sun up in the heavens. She’d never forgotten the expression in his eyes that day. He’d tugged her hand until she’d come to stand with him under a blushing tree.
Then he’d gazed down into her eyes as he let go of her hand to slide his own around her waist. Her eyes had grown wide. His lips had curved into a smile.
“I love you, Yura. I will always love you. You’re the only girl for me. I swear it. Forever.”
His sweet, young heart had given her all of himself that day. Then he had bent his beautiful head and brushed his lips across her own as his hands had drawn her gently up against him. She had eagerly returned his kiss. They’d been a couple ever since.
She winced. Until the day she’d betrayed him with his archenemy and her greatest bully.
