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Chapter 6: A Different Soul – July 1, 2019

Jungkook had debated following her so that he could return her sketch to her.  But as he had stared down at it, his heart had flooded with such warmth that he just couldn’t let go of that tiny drawing.  He knew he would treasure it forever.  

He’d headed out to his car and put it on the passenger’s seat to keep it safe before returning to Yunseong’s room to continue their contest.  But he’d lost to her again later that day.  He hadn’t been able to keep his mind on the game after his encounter with Yunyeong in the kitchen.  

He hadn’t seen her the next day.  He’d wondered if she was in hiding.  On the fourth day, he’d brushed past her in the hallway.  She hadn’t even looked at him.  She’d pressed on towards her room.  

She’d hidden from him at dinner too.  Behind her long, dark gold hair.  Her parents had invited him to stay for the meal.  Someone had seated him next to Yunyeong.  He’d been secretly delighted.  He’d wanted to brush his fingers along hers in the space between their chairs.  But, of course, she would never have countenanced that.  So he’d kept his hands to himself.

But not his eyes.  They’d roamed over her face several times during that dinner.  A couple of times, she’d lifted her gaze to meet his momentarily.  He’d smiled at her both times, but the corners of her mouth had remained still.  And her eyes had looked just as sad as always.  He’d gone home deflated that night.  Discouraged.  Clueless as to how to reach her.

That was why he’d awoken so early today and decided to skip his jog.  Hoping, somehow, he would find enough favor in her eyes to take one with her instead of running down a lonely road by himself.

—

Every once in a while, Jungkook had sent a surreptitious glance her way.  Yunyeong had pulled her waist-length, dark gold hair up into a ponytail.  It swung to and fro across her back as she jogged.  She was wearing a forest green T-shirt that caused her lovely eyes to glow.  Her black shorts and her blue tennis shoes completed her simple outfit.  Jungkook thought she looked gorgeous.  

Suddenly, those green eyes swung his way.

“Why are you looking at me?” she asked.

“Because you’re beautiful,” he answered without thinking.

She blushed and looked away.  “You shouldn’t say such a thing to me.”

“Why not?” he asked, deciding on honesty.  “You are.”

She shook her head.  “Aren’t you in love with my sister?”

“In love with her?” he echoed.  “I like her.  She’s cute.  She’s nice.  She’s great at MIRᴙOR.”

She ceased running.  “Jungkook.”

He came to a stop and glanced back at her.  “What?”

“Promise me you won’t hurt my sister.”  She eyed him soberly.

“I promise I won’t hurt your sister.”

She rolled her eyes.  “Those words slid off your tongue too easily.”  Her eyes raked over him.  “Are you a player?”

She usually had a good sense of these things now.  But Jungkook confused her.  He didn’t feel like a player.  Yet…he seemed interested in both her and her sister. 

Maybe all girls were the same to him.  Especially identical twins.  Had he decided he’d be happy with either of them?  Just as long as he got what he wanted from one of them?

Jungkook stared at her.  He was an idiot.  Why had he told her she was beautiful?  Of course, she wouldn’t believe him.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.  “I keep screwing this up.  You clearly want to be left alone.”  He shook his head and turned away.  “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

He swung back around.  “From the moment I met you, I was drawn to you.  To your sad eyes.  But…you have no use for me.  You’ve made it very obvious that you don’t like me.  

“Still, I kept trying to break through your walls.  I’m sure you’re worth it.  Worth every effort of mine to convince you that I’m safe.  That I won’t hurt you.  

“But you don’t want to be convinced.  I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry someone else hurt you.  But I’m not that guy.  I’ve never been that guy.  I will never be that guy.”  

Why did he feel so dejected?  She was just a girl.  A girl he barely knew.

He looked crestfallen.  Perplexed, she stared at him.

“What are you talking about?”

He backtracked.  He had promised Yunseong he wouldn’t say anything.  “I have no idea.  I just think you’ve been hurt.  You keep pushing me away.”

“Maybe I just don’t like you.”

Her words hurt.  Or they would have if he hadn’t known that another guy had hurt her.  Her voice sounded again. 

“I don’t understand you.  I thought you liked my sister.”

“I do like your sister.  From the moment I saw her standing across the cafe with my best friend, I liked her.  I was drawn to her.  We got along famously from the first sentence.  She was beautiful.  And friendly.  And funny.  

“But something was missing.  I couldn’t put my finger on it.  Until you walked into her bedroom that first day.  When I looked into her face and found your eyes, I knew what I’d been missing.  It was you.  Your soul.  You were what was missing.”

He’d just stolen her breath.  No guy was supposed to be able to do that anymore.  But Jungkook had affected her differently from the very first glance.  He’d stolen her breath with his beauty.  Now he’d just stolen her heart with his words.

—

He felt like crying.  He couldn’t explain it, but he wanted this girl.  He longed to be her friend.  He yearned to be her safe haven.  He wanted to be the one who gave her another chance at life and restored her faith in men.

And he kept thinking of that portrait.  Why, if she despised him, had she sketched his face so beautifully?

“I don’t like video games,” she offered in a tiny voice.

“What?” Jungkook was confused.

“I hide in my books.  In imaginary worlds some other lonely soul has created to solace me.  I’m not funny.  Or confident.  Or fun to be around.  There is no reason you would ever pick me over my sister.  Unless…you were just looking for a body to use.”

She had just crushed his heart.  He couldn’t breathe right now.  Stricken, he stared at her.  

“How?” he gasped.  “How could you think so little of yourself?”

“Because it’s true,” she whispered as her face crumpled.  Then she ran off down the path.  Jungkook didn’t even hesitate.  He took off after her.

She ran until her lungs burst into flames.  Then she swerved into a park and collapsed onto the grass.  Jungkook stopped right next to her.  He lay down near her.  Panting, she was curled into a ball.  She was having trouble breathing.  She’d run too far.  Too fast.  Pushed herself beyond her point of endurance.  Like always.

Jungkook turned his head towards her.  “Are you all right?  Can you breathe?”

She shook her head.  She was beginning to panic.  He saw it in her eyes.  He sat up and reached out to grab her by her upper arms.  His eyes delved deeply into hers, trying to steady her.

“Breathe.  Just concentrate on breathing.  I know your lungs are burning.  It’s okay.  Just relax.  Close your eyes.  Breathe.  Breathe in…That’s it.  Now, breathe out…Good.  Now do it again.”

She kept her eyes closed and followed his voice.  She discovered in those few moments that she loved his voice.  And the steady pressure of his fingertips on her arms.  She felt like those fingers anchored her.  Tethered her to something real.  If only for a few moments.  

Eventually, her breathing returned to normal, and her eyes fluttered open.  She released the words that were burning in her heart.

“We may look similar, but Yun and I are two very different people.  The guy who ends up with her will get a very different soul than he would if he had chosen me.”