Chapter 14: The Tender Offer – August 27 – October 1, 2021
Day after day blended into week after week, and Tae and Yun soon approached the end of August. And the beginning of her senior year in college. But first, she was headed to the doctor to get some pictures of the beautiful baby growing inside her belly.
And a certain someone was hoping she wanted his company for the trip.
“Yun. Would you like me to go to the ultrasound with you today?” Tae murmured as he lay on his stomach on her bed.
He was leaning over the edge watching her write a list of things she was going to need for her baby. He’d stopped by to visit her before heading to work. In the hope that she’d let him attend the ultrasound. She’d taken the morning off work to go to her doctor’s appointment.
She glanced up at him. “You don’t have to.”
“I want to.”
He wanted so much more than that, but he knew after the way he’d treated her that he didn’t deserve half the things he was dreaming of. He also knew that it was going to take him some time to earn her trust again.
His deep voice comforted her for some unknown reason. Her face softened. “All right. If you really want to.” Then her lips curved in a sweet smile. And her eyes suddenly flooded with tears. “Thank you, Tae.”
She had felt so alone since she’d told Seonghan that she was pregnant. But here was Tae being an absolute sweetheart. Like he’d been for months now.
“Hey, what are friends for?” Tae asked her gently.
When she didn’t respond, he ventured, “You’re finding out the gender today, right?”
She nodded.
A tiny smile tugged at his lips. “What are you hoping for?”
Her eyes connected with his. “I’d rather not say.”
Two lines appeared between his eyebrows. “Why not?”
“Because I wouldn’t want the baby to feel bad if I’m pregnant with the other gender.”
His face fell. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
“I’ll be happy either way.”
But she didn’t look very happy.
Her eyes collided with his again.
“Yun, it’s going to be okay.”
“How, Tae? How? How could I do this to myself? To my baby? To give her no appa to carry her around on his shoulders? No appa to protect her from bullies? No appa to come home to every day after school?” She began to weep.
Tae reached out and wrapped his fingers about her own. He wanted to pull her into his arms, but he resisted the sweet impulse.
Well, that answered his question. She was hoping for a girl. Of course, she was. With no appa for her baby, she wouldn’t want a boy. She wouldn’t want to raise a little boy on her own.
—
As she lay down on the table a while later, she realized she was extremely nervous. She wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like she could get more pregnant than she already was.
Tae was seated next to her. As the sonographer lifted her shirt to uncover her belly, Yunseong felt an odd awkwardness flow over her. Tae had never seen her tummy before.
Just then, his fingers slid along hers before his hand closed around hers on the table. She glanced up at him. He smiled reassuringly at her. She returned his smile half-heartedly.
She had screwed up so many things. This should have been his baby. And they should have been married first. She squeezed her eyes shut to keep herself from crying.
She felt a sudden cool squirt of gel hit her tummy. Then the pressure of the wand seeking her baby’s identity. Her eyes flew open, and she directed her attention to the sonogram machine. In the next instant, the black-and-white outline of her baby popped up on the screen in front of them. She heard Tae gasp. Her eyes left her baby’s image to travel to his beloved face. The expression she disturbed there undid her. Tears immediately flooded her eyes.
Tae sat, utterly rapt, staring at the white image fluttering on the black screen in front of them. His heart was crashing against his chest. That was Yun’s beautiful baby…girl?
“Is she a girl?” he asked eagerly.
The sonographer smiled. “Let me see if I can tell. She – or he – has to cooperate.” She slid the wand across Yunseong’s belly. Then she found the spot and dug the wand around until the baby shifted slightly. Then she smiled at them. “Yes, you’re having a girl.”
For a moment, Yunseong stared at the evidence as a grin spread across her face, full of wonder, then her eyes flew to Tae’s. “I’m having a girl!”
He could hear the excitement in her voice. “Congratulations!” he murmured with all the joy bubbling up out of his heart. He was so happy to see her happy.
They both returned their gazes to the little miracle on the screen. And both sat with the exact same expression of awe on their faces.
—
“Come on,” he tugged on her hand as they left the doctor’s office. “Let’s go celebrate.”
She laughed. “Tae, don’t we need to return to work? It’s my last day. Don’t you need me to train your new intern?”
He shook his head. “Nah. I’ll do that. Next week. Today we are going out to lunch.” He grinned at her. “And for ice cream. We have big things to celebrate.”
She slid a surreptitious gaze his way. “We do?”
“Mhmm.” He nodded definitively.
“What?”
His eyes speared hers. “You got the baby girl you wanted.”
Suddenly, a lump invaded her throat.
No, Tae. The baby girl I wanted was yours.
Suddenly, she remembered quite forcefully a dream she’d dreamt a year ago. Just a couple months before Tae’s attention had begun to wander. She’d fallen asleep on his shoulder while they were watching a movie together one night. And she had dreamed the most wonderful dream…
She had been blissfully pregnant in the dream. Just, quite simply, huge. So close to delivering.
Tae had approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her before resting his chin on her shoulder and planting a kiss on her cheek. Then his hand had lovingly caressed her belly. An oddly intimate gesture that said very clearly, “This baby is mine.”
But, in the dream, Tae had taken it one step farther.
“This beautiful baby is mine, Yun. She’s our baby.”
Then she’d woken up. But such a sense of peace had invaded her soul in that dream. She had known that Tae both loved her and adored their baby girl. She had felt so safe. And known her baby was too. Secure in her appa’s love.
And Yun had noticed the silver bands on his finger and hers as his hand had stroked her belly and hers had come to rest on top of his. A beautiful dream – a perfect life – that she had shattered with one stupid, rebellious decision.
Tears flooded her eyes now. That was what was wrong. She didn’t feel safe anymore. Truthfully, she hadn’t felt safe since the night Tae had broken up with her.
She had invited danger into her soul that night. And a tiny part of her had been terrified ever since. She’d locked that part away while she was dating Seonghan. She hadn’t wanted it screaming warnings she had been determined to ignore. But when he’d left her, a few minutes after she’d discovered the existence of their child, the terrified part of her had grown larger, its territory stretching out to swamp her soul with encroaching fear. What of her future? And her baby’s?
She had messed up her own life royally. But the worst part was what she had done to her own child. She had set up her baby to grow up without an appa.
She didn’t feel like celebrating. She was simply relieved that she wasn’t going to be raising a little boy without an appa. She hadn’t the foggiest notion how to raise a boy. At least, she was a girl. So, hopefully, she could handle the task of raising a daughter alone. Still, that little girl’s heart would bleed to know the father who had repudiated her.
Suddenly, Yun couldn’t hold back the sob that invaded her throat. She wanted to hide from Tae. This was a private pain he could not understand. He had never made the kind of mistakes she had. He didn’t have the regrets she bore either.
—
Tae had been concerned for her for several moments. He had thought she’d be ecstatic to have discovered she was carrying the girl she wanted. Instead, a melancholy air seemed to have cloaked her after he’d spoken of celebration. Now he watched as pain flooded her countenance and tears invaded her eyes.
“Yun, what’s wrong?” he breathed.
She sighed. “So many things. Instead, I would ask you, ‘What’s right?’”
“Yun.” His eyes seemed to caress her face. “What do you need? Name it. I will provide it.” He glanced down at her belly. “Are you worried about your child’s education? I’ll take care of it. Only the finest schools for your daughter, Yun. I’ll pay for a top notch private school for her, so you don’t have to worry about her each day. And when she’s ready for college, I’ll pay for her university too.”
She gaped at him. “W-what?”
He nodded. “I’ll start a scholarship fund for her today.”
Those tears spilled down her cheeks now. “Tae, you can’t do that. Someday, your wife would find out, and she’d be appalled. She’d assume the worst. She’d never understand why you’d provide such a blessing for a child that wasn’t your own.”
“What wife?” he pursed his lips. “I have no wife. This is none of that imaginary woman’s concern.” After a moment, he spoke again. “I have no plans to marry. Ever.” He was gazing intently at her face to read her reaction.
She gasped, and her eyes flew to his. “What?! Tae, you’re speaking nonsense now!”
He shook his head. “I am not.”
But he refused to say more on that subject, choosing instead to speak of her daughter.
“So, you see, I’ll need someone to spend my money on. Your daughter is the perfect solution, for she needs someone to spend his money on her. And I’m going to be fabulously wealthy if Namjoon and Eunji have anything to say about it. They’re both brilliant business minds. Appa’s company has taken off in their hands. So money will be no object.
“Your daughter will never lack for anything. Food, clothes, shelter, education. Whatever you need, Yun, just ask. Just tell me what you need, and I will provide it. Your baby will never know lack. Not if you’ll allow me to do something about it.”
His eyes probed the depths of hers and stirred up things in her soul that were better off left buried.
Tears poured down her cheeks. “Tae.”
But her heart was broken at the prospect that he would remain a bachelor. If she had ever met a man born to be a husband and a father, he was Tae. “Why won’t you marry?”
“I have no desire to marry,” he mumbled, his hungry eyes still on her face.
“What?” Confused, she furrowed her eyebrows. “But, when we were dating, you wanted to get married. And have four kids.”
“That was then. This is now.” His eyes left her countenance to stare off into the distance. His face became a blank slate.
They were standing in the parking lot, surrounded by blue sky and puffy clouds. As well as tall buildings and sea air.
“What changed, Tae?”
“I lost the love of my life,” he murmured as his eyes careened into hers.
And her stomach flipped upside down.
“I wanted to be an appa because I saw myself raising children with her. But she is gone now. Someone else’s baby graces her life now.”
Her heart sank. He was speaking of Eunji. Of course. But instead of feeling sorry for herself, Yunseong reached out to touch his shoulder with her hand. She rested it lightly against his chest. Close to his heart.
“I’m sorry, Tae, that you lost out on your heart’s desire. It must still hurt you every time you see her.” A tear slid down her cheek. This one was for him.
His eyes followed it. “You’re not crying for me, are you, Yun?”
She nodded as her tongue darted out to lick away the tear that had slid down onto her lip. The salt of her own grief bit into her taste buds.
“I am. I’m so sorry you can’t have her. Life is like that sometimes. We often see the one we want ending up with someone else.”
Puzzled, he drew his eyebrows down over his nose.
“But don’t give up, Tae. Someday you’re going to meet a beautiful woman who will wipe all thoughts of Eunji from your mind. You’ll look at your little beauty, and you’ll forget Eunji’s name. You’ll even forget your namesake nephew for a few moments as you kiss the woman of your dreams. You were meant to marry, Tae. You’ll be a wonderful husband. You were born to be an appa. You’ll be an amazing one. Don’t give up on your dreams. They’ll come true.”
He shook his head. She had misunderstood him. She believed he was still in love with Eunji.
“No, Yun. Eunji is not —”
She cut him off. It was still too painful to hear him speak of Eunji. If Eunji hadn’t existed, maybe she and Tae would have had a chance.
“Hey! Enough sad talk! Didn’t you say you wanted to take me out to lunch and for ice cream? Let’s go!” She tugged on his hand and pulled him towards his car.
Tae sighed. Would they always be operating under false assumptions?
—
He needed to talk to Yun. To clarify her confusion. To enlighten her eyes to whom he truly loved. But as August bled into September, he found he had less time with her. And he wanted to set the scene just perfectly.
Work had picked up for him, and she was buried in books. Studying for exam after exam. She had accepted a pretty heavy school load this semester in order to take one more step closer to graduation. She would have only three classes to finish after her baby was born.
—
Tae came to Yun one day at the very beginning of October. Most often now, he was working long days at his job as she sat at her desk in her bedroom studying. They knew it was a busy season for them both. Still, it saddened Tae. He missed her. But that didn’t mean he’d neglected her or her needs.
So, on the first Friday night in October, he brought her dinner and news. As they sat on her bed eating out of cartons, sometimes feeding each other bits out of their own boxes, Tae shared his news.
“It’s all set up.”
“What?”
Her eyes slid his way as she chomped on a bite of glass noodles. The darling man had brought her her favorite again.
“The education fund for your daughter, Yun. I got it all set up. You’ll be getting some papers in the mail next week. You just need to sign and return them, and her future is secured.”
She stopped chewing as her eyes locked with his. Several tender emotions were invading her heart. She began to choke as she swallowed too soon. Tae tossed his carton on the bed as his eyes grew wide, and he began to pound on her back. She coughed a few times. Then she concentrated on taking several deep breaths.
“Tae,” she whispered hoarsely a few moments later, “you did not need to do that.”
Great.
Someday, his wife would think he’d had a fling with Yunseong. And that would be the end of their beautiful friendship. His wife would never allow him to talk to a girl she believed he’d once bedded.
Suddenly, Yunseong felt so sad. One day, Tae would marry. No matter what he said now. And his wife was sure to despise her. Yunseong would have to kiss him goodbye forever then.
Hopefully, it would be years in the future, and he would get to see her daughter grow up first. He seemed to dote on this baby he’d never met. Her heart melted as she thought of it. Then her eyes met his as tears flooded her own.
“Tae…I told you that you didn’t need to do that.”
“I wanted to do that, Yun.”
A year ago, she would have thought his eyes were caressing her own. That he was attempting to woo her with his actions. But now she knew that he was just being a good friend.
No. An amazing friend!
“I hope you don’t come to regret it someday.” She was thinking of his jealous, future wife.
He frowned. “I could never come to regret providing for your child, Yun. She’s your child.”
Of course, he meant she wasn’t his child.
But that was the opposite of what he meant. Didn’t this silly woman yet know how much he loved her? How much he loved her baby? That he wanted them both to be his?
“There’s something else I’d like you to consider.”
Her eyes locked with his again. Why was she holding her breath?
“I’d like to legally adopt her as my child. So that I can provide for her financially. That way, if anything ever happens to me, she’d be the sole heir of my life insurance and my stocks in the company and all my other assets.”
Yunseong couldn’t breathe. Tae was speaking such great, heated words that he had stolen all the oxygen that normally lingered in her bedroom. She simply gaped at him, her chopsticks and their bounty hanging in midair between her mouth and the carton of japchae.
“I know it’s a lot to ask. Just…think about it, okay?”
Why was he so nervous? His hands were sweating. He set his chopsticks in his box and wiped his hand off on his pants. His eyes left hers as he did so.
So he missed the astonishment that flew across her face.
It’s a lot to ask? No, it’s not. It’s a lot to offer.
How much did Tae love a baby that wasn’t his? How could he even contemplate doing half of what he’d just offered?
She couldn’t understand a love this big. She couldn’t wrap her mind around it. It was too magnificent for her. She must be dreaming.
That was it! This was a dream. Some crazy dream in which Tae did the most outrageous things simply to woo her heart to himself.
Oh! That it wasn’t a dream!
Then she would fall into his embrace and kiss those chiseled lips of his – the ones whose likeness to marble belied the truth of their softness.
Instead, she blinked and responded, “Okay, Tae. I’ll think about it.”
But, of course, she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t consider it, for tomorrow morning she would awake from this dream and realize there was nothing to think about.
