Chapter 11: The Love of an Appa – January 14 – 15, 2022
“I wish my appa was here,” Yun murmured as she gazed down at her baby girl sleeping in Tae’s arms.
He was staring down at the little darling snuggling close to his heart. The sweetest smile played about his lips as his eyes traced her rosebud mouth. He glanced up at Yunseong.
“Your parents are coming up in a few minutes,” he responded.
“No. I mean, my real appa.”
Tae looked sideways at her. “Your real appa?” He furrowed his brow. “What do you mean? Your appa isn’t your real appa?”
She shook her head. “He’s my stepfather.”
Tae just stared at her. “How is it that I married you, and I didn’t know that?!”
“I never talk about him,” she whispered.
“What—where is he?”
“He died. A couple days before my twelfth birthday.”
“What?” Tae cried out, horrified. “What happened?”
“A car accident. Yunseok survived, thank God. But our appa wasn’t so lucky.”
Tae simply stared at her. Uncertain what to say. Or why she’d hidden such a thing from him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked after a few silent moments had passed between them.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. When something is really bothering me or hurts me deeply, I don’t talk about it. That’s how I got myself into so much trouble. When you left me, I shoved my feelings down deep and acted outrageously. Doing things I normally wouldn’t do. I did the same thing when my appa died.”
She glanced up at him. “My poor eomma. She’d lost her husband. She had a heartbroken son who blamed himself for his death. And a silent daughter who cried all the time. And me.
“I shoplifted and earned detention at school. I was caught smoking with a group of girls known for causing trouble. I was an absolute mess. Everyone thought I didn’t care that Appa had died.
“But I was utterly destroyed. Nothing mattered anymore. If Appa wasn’t there, who was I working so hard to impress? If Appa could be stolen from me so easily, what was safe? What was the point of following the rules if such a cruel punishment could be meted out for doing good?
“So I rebelled. Against it all. Mostly, I wanted to feel something besides the sword that pierced my soul when I was told he’d died.”
“You did the exact same thing when I broke up with you.”
“Yes,” she murmured bitterly. “I played by the rules. I was faithful to you. I hung in there even when I could tell your love was growing cold. I drew close to you as you pulled farther away from me. But it made absolutely no difference. Once again, the one I loved was ripped from me, and I was powerless to do anything about it. There was no reward for good behavior.
“I was ready to feel something good. So I turned to Seonghan. And he helped me feel something good, all right. For several months. Until he ripped my heart out and left me. Alone. With a beautiful baby.” Her eyes fell to trace her daughter’s adorable face. “Yet again, I lost all that was dear to me. Except for her.”
“I wish you’d told me,” Tae whispered. “I would have held you. I would have understood you better too. I might not have hurt you so deeply if I’d known.”
She shrugged. “It’s all water under the bridge now. Let it go.”
“But it’s so horrible. What you went through. I want you to know that. It was horrible. It wasn’t fair. I’m so sorry you suffered all of it.”
Her face softened. “It’s all right, Tae. I have you now. And Seulgi.”
“Yes, you do. And we love you very much. Don’t we, Seulgi?” He was staring down at that newborn baby like she had hung the stars in the sky. He bent and kissed her tiny forehead. Then he glanced up at Yunseong.
“I love you, Yun. And I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
She blinked. She hoped it was true. She couldn’t think beyond today. The repeated losses still hurt too much.
—
As he sat staring down at his sleeping wife, their conversation from early this morning came back to him. And his heart did a nosedive.
“I sold something.”
“What?”
“A doll collection I had. My appa gave it to me when I was little. It was quite valuable.”
“Why, Yun? Why would you sell something so precious to you to buy me a watch?”
“You wanted it.”
He choked.
How much did she love him?
She’d sold the doll collection her appa had bought for her? Her dead appa? Just to buy Tae a watch he’d once mentioned desiring?
It was too much for him. He burst into tears and wandered out into the hallway. But not before he snagged her phone off the side table. He unlocked it and rummaged through the contacts until he found it.
A number attached to Wants to Buy My Dolls.
He dialed the number as he prayed they wouldn’t be angry at him for calling so late.
—
Tae was supposed to be back by now. The doctor had just released her. She and Seulgi could finally go home. As soon as her ride arrived. She glanced up at the clock. It was nearly seven in the evening. She was ready to lie down in her own bed. She was exhausted. Having a baby was hard work.
Yun glanced down at the adorable bundle in her arms. Her eyes lovingly traced the soft curves of her baby’s face.
“I love you, Seulgi. I wish…I wish I could pass Appa’s dolls on to you. Give you a keepsake from him. He would have simply adored you. He would have wanted you to have them. He would have delighted in swinging you up in the air and listening to the laughter burst from your lungs. But your appa, Tae, he will do that with you.”
“Yes, he absolutely will. Starting now,” he spoke from the doorway before striding across the room to lift his wife’s tiny burden. A most happy one. “Ready to head home?”
Startled, Yun looked up at him in surprise. “Tae? Where have you been?”
“I had an errand to run,” he answered evasively. “Let’s get you two home.” He met her eyes this time and grinned widely. His boxy smile suddenly popped out at her.
—
A half an hour later, he opened the front door of her parents’ house. “Are you sure your parents are okay with us bringing a newborn into their home? What if she keeps them up at night?”
“Are we okay with a newborn in our home?!” Her eomma suddenly cried out from the doorway to the kitchen. “We are delighted to have a newborn in our home! I am delighted to hold a baby in my arms again. My baby’s baby,” her face crumpled as she gathered her granddaughter up in her arms and stood gazing down at her sweet, little face.
Tae took advantage of the moment. He snagged Yun’s hand and drew her towards the hallway to their room. “Come with me for a moment. I have something to show you.”
She glanced at her eomma whose eyebrows flew up as she shrugged her shoulders. He hadn’t let her in on the mystery either, apparently. Yun followed him until they’d stepped through the doorway into the room she’d grown up in. It looked almost identical to the bedroom of her childhood. Including…
She gasped. “My dolls!” She stood staring at the curio case of dolls that had once stood in one corner of her room. It was there again. “H-how?” She turned her head towards him. “Tae? Are those my dolls? The ones I sold?”
“The ones your appa gave to you. Yes. I bought them back from your buyer today.”
“How?”
Her eyes fell to his wrist. He was still wearing the watch she’d bought him.
“I borrowed some money from Joon. He’s rolling in it these days. I guess that’s what he gets for marrying a corporate genius.”
Eunji had discovered that once she had a choice – and Namjoon’s input – she was quite good at finances. And did have a knack for the corporate world. She did, in fact, have a talent for analyzing reports and finding flaws in them. She’d found out that she was more interested in her appa’s company than she had once believed.
“No. I mean, I never texted you the number.”
“Ah. I found it in your phone. ‘Wants to Buy My Dolls,’” he recited.
“She was willing to sell them back to you?”
“When I explained the situation, yes. She said it sounded just like a good drama. How could she stand in the way of a happy ending?” His eyes slid towards Yun’s. “Is this a happy ending, Yun?”
Her eomma had come to rest in the doorway. Yun walked over to her and bent to kiss their daughter on her wee cheek.
“No,” she murmured, “This is a happy beginning.”
