I Just Can’t Say ‘I Love You’

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Tae was beyond happy with his girlfriend.  She was sweet and adorable.  And she didn’t mind it when he clung to her.  They’d been dating for a little over six months now.  And everything was perfect.  But for one thing.

She hadn’t once said the words ‘I love you’ to him.  And it was bugging him.  He could tell she did love him.  She always looked up at him with stars in her eyes.  And all the little things she did for him showed it.  Everything but her words.  So, what was stopping her?

Today she was helping him pack for his trip to Paris.  After seeing how ‘disorganized’ his suitcase was last time he’d left, she insisted she help him today.  He didn’t mind, honestly.  He knew his suitcase was always a disaster.  She’d told him he could condense his packing space.  He wasn’t sure that was possible, but he supposed he’d let her have a go at it.

He watched from his chair in the corner of his room as she folded and crammed and rolled clothes a few hours later.  She’d organized all his clothes into two categories: fancy and plain.  All his ‘plain’ clothes were folded – or rolled – and shoved into one suitcase.  He couldn’t believe the rolling tactic had worked.

Then she very carefully put all his fancy clothes into his other suitcase.  He smiled as he watched her.  Even the way she handled his clothes was gentle.

Soon enough, she was done, and both suitcases had been easily closed.

“See?  There.  Now you won’t have clothes come falling out when you open it.”

He chuckled.  She was referring to a few months ago when he’d come home with his suitcase nearly busting at the seams.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving so soon,” she pouted down at his suitcase.

“It’s ok.  I’ll be back before you know it.” He patted his lap. “C’mere.”

He watched her cheeks turn a light pink as she crossed the room and sat down on his lap.  He wrapped his arms around her waist and pecked her lips softly. “I love you, Zo.”

She smiled shyly and buried her face in his neck. “I’m sorry I never say it back…” she mumbled.

He felt something wet hit his collarbone. “Hey…it’s ok…don’t cry.”

She shook her head. “No.  It’s not ok…you say it to me all the time, but I never say it back.  Don’t you ever need to hear it?”

Maybe he did.  But he wasn’t too concerned with that right now.  Why was she crying?

“Zo…why are you crying?”

“Because…I feel bad that I never say it…”

He rubbed her back. “Why don’t you say it?”

There was silence for a few seconds before she replied. “…it’s hard…”

“It’s…hard?”

A small nod was all he got in response this time.

“It’s ok.  You can say it when you’re ready to.”

He frowned as she continued to hide in his arms.  He wondered why it was hard for her to say it.  But he wasn’t sure he should ask.

——————–

A few weeks after he’d returned from Paris, he was cooking one night when two skinny little arms suddenly snaked around his waist.  He smiled and continued cooking.  They stood there silently for a few moments.

“I love you, Tae.” Zoe murmured into his back.

He grinned. “I love you too, Zo.”

Silence reigned for a few more moments before he continued.

“Was it hard to say?”

She nodded slowly. “A bit…I was nervous…”

He turned around suddenly and wrapped his arms around her, surprising her.  He began planting kisses in her hair, murmuring a soft ‘I love you’ after each one.

He could feel her shaking now.  She was crying.  He pulled away slightly, cupping her face in his hands before brushing her tears away.  Then he kissed her forehead.

“I love you.”

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