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Jina was cowering in bed.  There were two possible outcomes she’d have to face tonight.  Either Chanyeol would defeat Jungkook, and he would come for her and do all he had threatened to do…

…but for the knife in her hand.

Or…Jungkook would deal with him and then return to deal with her.  

Either way, she was toast.  She hated it, but she was trembling right now.  Her blade was in her hand under the blankets.  Whichever man came for her, he’d find a nasty surprise if he attempted to hurt her.  She might be too weak to effectively fight either of them off of her, but she could at least blind a man with her knife.

She didn’t really believe Jungkook would hurt her.  Not in the same way that Chanyeol would, given the opportunity.  But she didn’t want a spanking any more than she desired to be raped.  She was three years older than Jungkook, for goodness’ sake!  If someone was going to scold the other in their relationship, certainly she had earned the right!  He wasn’t even seventeen yet.  What did the boy know of life?   Nothing.  Not one single thing.

—

The king’s words were echoing in his ears as Jungkook opened his door that night.

“Don’t give her a reason to hate you too.”

“She has been mistreated her whole life by men.”

Is that why she hated Jungkook so?  And why she wouldn’t heed his warnings?  What did Yoongi know of Jina that Jungkook was still ignorant of?

Jungkook slipped into his room and headed for his bed.  She was lying in it.  Her back to him.  Feigning sleep most likely.  But he knew she was awake.  There was no way she’d be sleeping after what had happened in the hallway.

He stopped to remove his hanbok and shirt before sliding between the sheets.  He lay in the semi-darkness staring at the back of her head.  She had left one candle burning by the door.  Considerate of her.  So he didn’t trip over something on his way to bed.  

The light of that tiny candle illuminated the outline of her body.  He lay quietly for a few moments.  Waiting.  To see what she would do.  She did nothing.  So after a couple of minutes, he feigned a snore.  Then he waited again.

Still, nothing.  So he snored again.  It was met with silence.  So he reached for her.  He slid his hand over her hip.  Then down.  

“Stop,” she hissed.  “Don’t touch me.”

Her voice was as cold as ice.  How on earth would he ever get children from this woman?  She hadn’t even allowed him to kiss her yet.

He refused to move his hand.  It lingered on her hip.  

“Jungkook,” she warned.  “Let go of me.”

He ignored her.  “We need to discuss your behavior earlier tonight.”

She rolled towards him.  “My behavior?” her voice snapped.

“I told you to stay in my room!  I thought you understood what you were risking.”

“What do you care?  You won’t even take your own hand off my hip.  What do you care if another man touches me?”

His anger fomented.  “You belong to me!  My hand has a right to be on your hip!  Another man has no right to you.”  His voice was biting, but his touch was still gentle.

“Are you going to demand your rights then tonight?” She had her knife ready.  Her fingers were curled around the handle.

Suddenly, his anger evaporated.  Just like that, it was gone.  He had detected a tremor in her voice.

“You have nothing to fear from me, Jina,” he whispered softly.  Then he removed his hand from her hip.  “I am sorry that I have thus far failed to convince you of my kindness towards you.”

He rolled away from her.  But he spoke over his shoulder.  “I returned to our room hoping to comfort you after your encounter with him in the hallway.  I imagine you were scared.”

That was an understatement.  She’d been terrified.  Nothing would have enticed her to disobey Jungkook and leave their room…if the note hadn’t come.  Whoever had written it had threatened to hurt him if she didn’t take the corridor to the kitchen as soon as she read the letter.

Chanyeol had been waiting for her a moment later.  She wanted to puke as she recalled his actions.  And his slimy words.

“Hello, my pretty.  We meet again.  I believe that last time I promised you a good time the next time we met.  And here we are.  Back in our little hallway.  Imagine that.”

His beady eyes had devoured her.

“We both know I am not your pretty,” she’d spoken in an amazingly clear voice. 

“We’ll see about that.”  He had advanced on her.  

Her heart had begun to pound in her chest.  She had slid her hand into the secret pocket she’d created in her hanbok.  He had stopped directly in front of her.  Then his hand had shot out to snake behind her and drag her up against him.  

In that moment, the thing she’d feared the most was that he would kiss her, forever marring the memory of her first kiss. Once she’d wanted to give it to Jungkook.  Still, she would prefer to grant that once-in-a-lifetime moment to Jungkook.  Especially, as opposed to this predator.

Chanyeol’s breath had been hot on her neck as his hand had slid down her hip to come to rest on her bottom.  She’d been so repulsed by him that she’d reached up and shoved against him with her free hand.  But he’d been so strong.  All her efforts had been for nothing.  She had been waiting for the right moment to stab him.  After which, she had planned to run like the wind.  And pray Jungkook was all right.

Then, miraculously, Jungkook had appeared.  A moment later, he had freed her from Chanyeol’s grasp, and she had fled back to their room.  But everything was still broken between her and her husband.  She wasn’t any closer to experiencing her first kiss than she had been that morning.

As she lay in bed with him, staring at the back of his head in the darkness, a tear slid down her cheek.  She felt so hopeless.  Once she’d dreamed of being in this bed with him.  She’d dreamed of gentleness and soft kisses.  Tender touches.

“I’ve been a fool,” she murmured. 

Jungkook rolled towards her so he could peer into her face.  

She continued, “I once believed a man existed who would show me tenderness.  Someone who would be sweet to me.  After all I’ve experienced, I don’t know why I persisted in such a foolish belief.  But I did.  Then, I saw you, and I…” her voice broke.  

She fell silent.

But Jungkook’s eyes were searching hers.  His own face was cast in shadows so she couldn’t read the compassion in his eyes.  But he could see her tear gleaming in the light of the candle.  He could hear the sorrow in her voice too.

“You what?” he whispered.

She had gone completely still.  Her eyes staring into his own, though she couldn’t read anything in them.  They were too dark.  And surrounded by darkness.

He reached up slowly and brushed his fingers against her cheek.  His movement startled her, and her blade suddenly appeared between them.  The candlelight striking a silver glint off its edge.

“Don’t hurt me,” she urged.  “I don’t want to have to injure you.”

His first impulse was to laugh.  But then he was swamped by a great sorrow.

“You brought a knife to bed with you?  Do you fear me so much?”

“It’s actually a small sword,” she whispered.  “I’m expected to use it to end my own life if a man other than my husband tries to touch me.  Tell me: why, when I’ve done nothing wrong, should I punish myself, instead of the man who wishes to hurt me?”

His eyes traced the lovely curve of her cheek.  It was glistening in the light of that lone candle.  Was he hallucinating, or had she grown lovelier since he’d first met her?  Was her plainness hidden by the candlelight, or had she just begun to grow on him?

“I don’t ever want you to hurt yourself,” his soft voice caressed her ears.  “I would, in fact, die to defend you from harm.  Promise me you won’t hurt yourself.  No matter how hopeless things feel.”

She stared at him in shock.  “You would die defending me?  Why?  What am I to you?”

“What?  What do you mean?  You are my wife.”

“But only because the king forced you to marry me.  You had no desire to be my husband.  I must be like a great millstone about your neck,” she murmured mournfully.  “One you would wish to be shod of very quickly.  

“I’m sorry.  You won’t be.  I’ve no intention of taking my life.  I prize life too highly for that to ever be an option for me.  No matter how miserable my existence is.”

Jungkook felt that grief growing in his heart.  How could he reach her?

“You didn’t like me touching your face?  You felt threatened?”

She blinked.  “No.  You surprised me.  I – I’ve had my hand curled around my sword since I returned from the passageway.  I knew one of you would be coming for me.  Either Chanyeol to rape me, or you to…” her voice faded away.

“Or me to…what?”

“Punish me,” she whispered.

He furrowed his brow.  “Punish you?”

“I know the most frequent passion I stir in your soul is anger.  I know you despise me.”

He frowned.  “I do not despise you, Jina.”

“You must!  If not for my foolish actions, you’d be a free man.  Free with your handsome face to pursue some ravishing beauty.  Not stuck here with me, plain Jina.”

She hadn’t meant to weep, but she felt a sob building in her chest.  She rolled suddenly away from him and slid her sword under her pillow.  She buried her face in that soft cushion and began to bawl.  He saw her shoulders shaking.

She was heartbroken because he found her plain?  

She thought he was handsome?

“Jina…was there ever a time when you liked me?”

His tentative question broke through her agony.  She stilled.  Then she hiccupped.  She loathed hiccups.  They hurt.

“Jina?”

“What does it matter?” she murmured.

His eyebrows flew to threaten the ceiling over their heads.  She had liked him!  He was shocked.

“You liked me?” 

She could hear the astonishment in his voice.

“It’s not that unbelievable.  You are absolutely gorgeous.  I imagine every woman in the palace ‘likes’ you.”

Great.  

Why had she said that?  Why was she pointing out that other prettier girls would find him desirable?

“But you hate me now.  How could you ever have liked me?”

She rolled towards him and sighed.  “Jungkook.  I do not hate you.  I hate having no choice.  I hate being powerless.  I hate that you were forced to marry a woman you feel no fondness for.  And I hate that I am that woman.”

She was weeping again.  At least, this time her tears were silent.

Then his gentle voice broke through the cool night air surrounding them.

“I never said I have no fondness for you.”

He stole her breath for a moment, but then her memories surfaced.

“You have made it quite clear that you do not like me.”

“You exasperate me at every turn.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t like you,” he whispered.  He paused a moment as he weighed his options.

She has been mistreated her whole life by men.  Don’t give her a reason to hate you too.

His heart bent towards her.  She was his wife.  He really must make the best of this situation.

“May I caress your cheek?” 

His whisper shocked her.  And she felt it all the way down in her bones.  Her heart began to yearn for things she couldn’t have.

“Don’t,” she breathed.  “Please don’t be sweet to me.  Don’t make me desire things you have no intention of delivering.”

He was making her desire things?  He grinned.

“What makes you think that I won’t always be sweet to you?”

A sob broke loose from her belly then.  She rolled away from him.  

She had trusted a boy once.  She’d met him in a meadow, thinking she was going to be blessed with her first kiss.  Instead, he’d turned her in.  And he and his friends had laughed while she was flogged for leaving her quarters alone.

“Men are not sweet.  Not a single one of you.  You promise one thing yet deliver another.  I know.  I have learned the hard way.  Time and again.”

Jungkook’s heart was breaking.  “What?  What did they do to you?”

“Belittle me.  Tease me.  Get me into trouble.  Laugh at me when I was flogged at their word.  Lay in wait to hurt me.”

“Who hurt you?” He could feel his ire rising in her defense.

“Do you not remember our first encounter, milord?”

She was mocking him now with the ridiculous use of that title.  But he swallowed as he grimaced.  She had prodded that memory to reappear.

“Do you not recall how you nearly choked me with my broomstick?”

Exasperated, he sighed.  “I was trying to show you how your weapon could be used against you.”

“Thank you for the lesson, sire!” she spat out bitterly.  “Until I met you, I had no idea how cruel men could be!” she uttered sarcastically.  “It was so good of you to give me an education!”  

She leapt from their bed and walked across the room.

He sat up.  Irked.  But he instantly recognized that what she needed to be taught was that a man could be gentle and kind.  The question was…how should he go about it?  And how did he control his too-hot temper when she set it off?

“Jina.  Please come back to bed.  It’s cold out there.”

She glanced over at him.  “It’s cold everywhere,” she insisted.  

Her heart was freezing right now.  She wanted his love.  It was absurd because he was a stranger.  But he was also her husband.  And she was expected to share his bed.  But what she really wanted was to share hearts with him.

“Not here,” he whispered.  “It’s warm in our bed.”

“You mean, in your bed.”

“No.  My bed was always cold.  And lonely.  But this is our bed.  And it’s very warm.  It’s inviting.  But only if you’re in it with me.”

His words were doing strange things inside of her.  Like tiny arrows, they had pierced her belly and dug themselves deep.  Then they’d released a pleasing flush.  But they must have had strings attached, for now they seemed to be pulling her towards him.

“Please,” she whimpered, “don’t hurt me.”

“I would never.”  He sighed.  “Not intentionally, anyway.”

She turned her head to stare at him.  He was sitting up in the bed.  She reached for the candle and approached him.  When she was standing two feet from him, she gazed into his eyes.  Now she could clearly see his face in the light of her candle.

“Say it again.”

He smiled.  “My bed is only warm when you’re in it with me.”

His joy faded to be replaced by a sober expression that released butterflies in her stomach.  She swallowed.  She leaned over and set the candle on the table by his bed.  Then she straightened and stood staring down at him.  Uncertain of what to do.

His eyes traced the planes and the shadows of her face.  She was lovely by candlelight.  He desired her.  He recognized it in that moment.  So he reached out to touch her.  Slowly.  Tentatively.  His fingers brushed her hand.

“Please.  Come lie down with me,” his voice was just a breath.

But it was making those butterflies dance.

She swallowed.  And took a step towards him.   He scooted over and patted the mattress next to him.  She sat down on it and turned towards him, pulling her feet into bed as she lay down.  He reached down and pulled the blankets up over her.

She glanced up at him as he, leaning on his elbow, hovered over her.  He smiled gently at her.

“May I hold you?” he queried.

He watched the surprise flutter across her face.  Then she nodded.  She looked terrified.  Her expression brittle.  Like at the smallest provocation, he would break her heart.

Was she not as brave as she seemed?  Was her boldness a front?  Was her bravado false?  Was she quick to defend herself only because no one had ever come to her defense?

His thoughts made him sad.  He reached out to slide his arms around her and draw her close to him.  She leaned her head against his chest.  His arms embraced her.

She was so tempted to feel safe.  But she had learned that there was no safety with men.  So she would stay on her guard.  And then, when Jungkook decided to attack her, she would be ready.  Ready to defend herself.  Ready to retreat behind the walls of her ice castle once more.

But after a few minutes, the heat of his body lulled her into closing her eyes.  She fell asleep to one thought.  He was right.  His bed was warm.