Treasured: Fly to My Room – Chapter 6: Sharing Breath

Nani and Jimin ate in a companionable silence for a while before he began to ask her questions about her life and family.  She shared her interest in drawing with him.  She even showed him some pictures she had taken of sketches she had made.  Jimin seemed genuinely interested in her life and hobbies.

Near the end of lunch, she reached into her pocket to pull out her wallet.  As she opened it, her driver’s license fell out.

Wait.  I have a driver’s license?  But I’m not even fifteen yet!

She studied the license.  The photo was definitely her.  Her name was right.  Her birthday was…

…wrong! 

She had been born in 2005, but this license claimed that she had been born in 2001.  That would make her eighteen today, and nineteen tomorrow!  There was no way that she’d have purchased a fake ID.  Besides, this license had the star icon that certified it as a real ID. 

In this weird dream world, she was nearly nineteen!  Which meant that she was an adult.  Hanging out with another adult.  As the implications of that strange truth hit her, she suddenly grinned.

“What is it?” Jimin asked as he noticed her smile.

She looked up at him.  “Apparently, I’m going to be nineteen tomorrow.”  She handed him her license.

“Wha––?” he queried as he read her ID.  His eyes slid from the license to her face.  “Yeah, it’s definitely you.  “Is it fake?”

“No way.  I would never buy a fake ID.”  She shrugged.  “I suppose my being eighteen isn’t any stranger than you suddenly appearing in my room.  This is definitely a dream.  I hope it never ends,” she mumbled as he passed her license back to her. 

She slid it back into her wallet before pulling out a twenty-dollar bill.

“What are you doing?” he instantly questioned her.

Startled, she lifted her eyes to meet his.  “Paying for my lunch.”

“You are not.  This is my treat.  I brought you out to lunch for your birthday, Nani.”

She blinked.  “Um.  Thank you, Jimin.”  She slid the money back into her wallet before pocketing it.

“You’re welcome,” he gave her a small smile before eating the last bite of his beef.

When they were done with lunch, he suggested they take a walk.  “Is there a park nearby?”

She nodded.  “A little ways that way.”  She pointed out the window.

“Let’s walk.  Shall we?”  He held out his hand to her again. 

Happily, she took it, and they set off for the park.  They came upon its open field a few minutes later.  The rain had mysteriously dried up, and the sun was now smiling down upon them.  And warming the air between them.  Unless…

…that was something else.

She glanced curiously at his face for a few moments.  Finally, he turned his head towards her.  His countenance was an open book.  He really owned a very sweet face.  But she couldn’t shake the melancholy she felt rippling off of him today.

“Jimin?  Are you all right?”

“Yes.  I was relishing the feeling of being an ordinary person with an ordinary life.  And all the freedom that comes with it.”

“Oh.”  Her brow wrinkled in concern.

“I didn’t realize, you know?  When I chose my life, I didn’t realize all I would be giving up.  Honestly, none of us ever dreamed we’d make it as big as we have.  It’s really scary sometimes, you know?  

“But I miss it too.  Not being able to see ARMY.  Not being able to perform in front of you all.  Not being able to breathe the same air or ride the waves of all that energy ARMY emits.  It’s addictive.  And that’s scary too.  Because now I’m having to live without it.  And I don’t like it.  

“I don’t like being alone in my room.  Trying to find something to fill up the time with.  This year has been so hard.  Such a test of who I am.  And what I believe in.  I’ve felt more alone this year than I have for several years.”

“Even with the other guys?” she queried.

Jimin nodded his head.  “Yes.  Even with them.  It’s not what we expected, you know?  This year was supposed to be a mad rollercoaster.  A whirlwind of concert dates all over the world.  Months spent in America.  Weeks touring other cities around the globe.  I anticipated the exhaustion.  The highs and the lows.  The travel and the faces.  The voices and the energy.  The stolen naps in cars and planes.  The interviews and the performances.  I was ready for it.  All of it.

“I wasn’t prepared for the exhaustion that comes with too much physical rest.  We haven’t been trained to rest.  We’ve been trained to work.  And when we’re tired, to work some more.  And when we’re exhausted, to push through.  But there’s nothing to push through now.  Yet I find myself exhausted.  Napping for no reason.  Tired often.  With no trigger.  Just this loneliness that keeps on creeping in.”

“Jimin…” Her eyes searched his sad face.  “What you’re describing sounds like depression.  It’s normal given what you’ve been through.  The dashed expectations.  The terrible disappointments.  But we’re blessed really.  

“You’ve been able to keep working with your friends.  You’ve figured out how to continue to make money during a time that has financially stressed most of the world.  You’re surrounded by people who care about you.  You’re still making new music.”  Her lips quirked upward.  “ARMY still adores you.  So please, don’t be sad for long.  You’re so loved.”

His eyes held hers for several seconds.  “And you, Nani?  Do you love me?”

Her lips flipped upwards.  “Of course, I love you, Jimin.  Why else would you be here?  I didn’t call Jungkook to come rescue me.  Or Namjoon.  Or any of the rest of them.  I called you.” Her eyes fenced with his.

Jimin stood staring down at the beautiful girl holding his hand.  An intensity had crept into his chocolate eyes.  It was thrilling her.  And scaring her a little too.  

In that moment, she realized that Jimin really was a stranger to her.  She had left her house alone with a strange man.  Who was several years older than her.  Although, not as many as he had been earlier.

“I love you too,” he murmured suddenly.  “At least, I love the you you’ve allowed me to see today.”  Then in a flash, he leaned forward and brushed his lips across her cheek.  “I wish you were ten years older,” he whispered in a breath that tickled her ear.  “Wait.  You are older.”

Her heart ceased to beat.  She did, in fact, freeze.  Every single muscle in her body forgot how to move for a few seconds.  Every cell stood at attention.  Except that her eyelids gave up the fight.  They fell to cover her dark eyes.  They blocked out the sun.  But not the memory of the intense light shining in Jimin’s eyes.

All her attention was now trained on the tenderness emanating from the lips pressed against her skin.  She soaked in their presence.  The soft brush of Jimin’s mouth against her cheek.  The whisper of his breath across her skin.  It was raising the tiny hairs on the back of her neck.  It was awakening things deep inside of her.  Things better left to slumber a little while longer.  For now, she was growing restless.  As though he had poured his own discontent into her soul.

Perhaps that was why she reached for him.  She threw her arms up around his neck and pulled him close to her.  She clung to him as his own arms slid around her back and drew her near.  They stood, holding each other, their bodies snugly hugging for several long moments as silence stretched out between them.

Finally, she broke the quiet.  “You’re not alone, Jimin.  I’m here.  I will always be here for you.”

“Will you, Nani?  Truly?  Won’t you grow up some day, meet a real man, fall in love with him, and forget me?” His breath was once again doing strange things to her as it slid along the contours of her ear.

“I, uh…”

She instantly recognized the truth of his words.  Today was a fantasy.  An illusion.  Something shimmery that would fade under the burning sun of reality.

Soon they would both return to their real lives.  She and Jimin weren’t friends.  Not really.  They weren’t even acquaintances.  Boys did not suddenly appear in her room.  Nor did she age four years overnight.

This must be a dream.  Eventually, she would wake up from it.  And find herself alone again.  

Her arms tightened around him as a sob escaped her lips.

“I’ve made you cry again?” he whispered brokenheartedly into her ear as his arms tightened around her.  “Nani, I’m sor—”

Her lips cut off his apology as they softly collided with his own.  She felt every cell in his body tense.  Still, she pressed her mouth against his.  

“It’s just a dream,” she whispered against those luscious lips.

She felt him relax.  Their mouths remained locked for a few precious seconds.  She noted the presence of his warm arms hugging her close to his equally toasty body.  She could feel the soft exhalation of his breath through his nose.  She could smell something indefinable.  But enticing.  It must be Jimin himself.

Then, just as suddenly as that kiss began, it ended.  Jimin pulled abruptly away from her.  “I’m sorry, Nani.  I shouldn’t have done that.”

Confused, she furrowed her brow.  “What?” she asked faintly.  “You didn’t.  I’m the one who kissed you.”

“I shouldn’t have given in to you then.”  He shook his head as though to clear it of cobwebs.  “I know better.”

“I won’t apologize, Jimin.  It’s just a dream.”

His eyes speared hers softly.  “Does that relieve us of all responsibility then?” he demanded.  “What if we wake up tomorrow, and I discover that I kissed a fourteen-year-old today?  What if it’s not just a dream?”

A smile played about her lips.  “Then I really did just kiss Park Jimin.”

He chuckled softly.  And shook his head.  “Nani.”  There was a warning note in his voice.

“What?  There’s nothing wrong with an innocent kiss.”

“Fair enough.  But it must stop there.”

She sighed.  “I know.”  Her mood brightened suddenly.  “Will you return when I’m eighteen?  I mean, for real?”

He barked with laughter at the unexpectedness of her provoking question.  But then he shrugged his shoulders.  “Perhaps.  Who knows?  I don’t even know how I got here this time.”

She sighed.  “I know.  That’s the most aggravating thing.  I don’t know how you came, so how am I to get you to return?”

“Well, you admitted you did call for me.  And somehow, I not only heard you, but I traveled thousands of miles in an instant to be with you.”

“I wish it were that easy.  But you didn’t come all the other times I called for you.”

“You called for me other times?” his tender tone caressed her ears.

She nodded.  “I talk to you all the time, Jimin.  When I’m sitting in my room alone.”

“Like you were this morning?”

She nodded.  “Exactly.”

“I promise I’ll come.  Every time you call.  Even if you can’t see me.  Know I’m there.  In my heart.  I want to be with you, Nani.  I want to hold you in my arms.  I want to—”

He broke off abruptly, but she didn’t miss the way his eyes slid along the curve of her lips.  Those lips curved into a smile as she took a step towards him.

“Don’t, Nani.  Don’t tempt me.  It’s not nice.”

“I tempt you?” she asked in shock.  She had never tempted a boy before.  Had she?

He nodded.  “You’re beautiful.  Don’t you know it?”

She shrugged.  “Not really.”

“Well, you are.  So be kind to us boys.  Don’t tempt us.”

She simply stared in shock at him.  It was hard enough to believe Park Jimin was standing here in this meadow with her on a cool autumn day.  But to digest the news that he was attracted to her too, that was nearly impossible.  

Suddenly, a mighty shiver rippled through her as the sun slipped behind a thundercloud and a chill wind blew through the open field.  Jimin frowned and shrugged out of his black hoodie.  Underneath was just a simple white T-shirt.

“Here.  Wear my sweatshirt.  You’re freezing.”

She glanced down at his slender arms.  “You’re going to get cold if I wear your hoodie.”

“I’m used to cold.”  

He slipped his sweatshirt over her shoulders and guided her arms into its sleeves.  Then he turned her towards him and reached down to zip it up.  As she watched him, she realized that he felt very much like he was her boyfriend.  His gentle regard was warming her more than his hoodie ever would.

But it was warming her too.  And it smelled amazing.  Something musky and sweet.  Like vanilla mixed with his own spice.  She bent her head and inhaled.  

Jimin was eyeing her over the bridge of his nose as he glanced up at her.  He was still bent over her, his fingers on the pull tab of the zipper as it came to rest at the base of her throat.   His thumb shifted to brush against her skin there.  It lingered as he felt her pulse beating out a wild tattoo.  His eyes locked with her own.  Silently, a millennium seemed to pass between them as his gaze kissed hers.

Her breath had flown again.  It seemed to her that Jimin kept hogging it to himself.  As though he was the only one who required air.  Could she live on his presence alone?

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Nani

    I had to reread this just now to gather my thoughts again… this was a beautiful chapter… I loved it!

    I’m not really sure what I can say… besides the fact that I love the way this story is progressing

    Thank you again for creating this story… ^-^

    The way you had put his sadness for missing his fans had reminded me of how sad it’s been this year…

    I absolutely loved this one line, “At least, I love the you you’ve allowed me to see today.”

    I smiled reading that part and it made me feel… content. It made me think of how different we can be each day…. and maybe having someone you adore that much right by your side… it would make your day happy.

    Ahhh this was such a random mishmash of my thoughts… I’m sorry if anything was confusing…

    Thank you again!

    1. Rainbow Rose

      Thank you, sweetheart, for expressing your appreciation and love for this story. It always means so much to me when someone shares how my story impacted her life. This chapter was the most challenging one I wrote for this story, so I am very relieved that you liked it.

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