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Namjoon pushed open the door to the small shop.  The bell dinged over his head as he entered.  He was greeted by the same tiny girl with short hair that was always working here.  Everything was the same as it had always been.  But at the same time, it wasn’t.

His late wife wasn’t here anymore to teasingly scold him for buying too many treats for Shiro, their cat.  She wasn’t here to remind him to decorate the house.  She wasn’t here to cook Christmas dinner with him.  She wasn’t here to cuddle on the couch with him at midnight while watching TV as it snowed outside.

On the outside, everything was the same as it had always been.  The streets were covered in snow, and people were rushing around trying to get home to avoid being frostbitten.  Cafes were filled with people drinking hot coffee and cider and chocolate.  But inside, Namjoon wasn’t the same.  He’d lost his lifelong friend around this time last year.  She’d left so unexpectedly.  And even now, almost a year later, it still stung so badly.

Maybe it was because this was the last season he’d experienced with her.  Maybe the snow and cold weather was reminding him of those last few memories she’d given him.  Maybe it was the chill that ran through the house that went unwarmed by her presence.  Or maybe it was simply the fact that he couldn’t let go of her memory.

He wiped a tear from his cheek as he grabbed the few items he’d needed.  He didn’t plan on spending too long here.  But one item caught his eye on the way to the checkout counter.  There was a package of homerun balls sitting on a shelf that they clearly didn’t belong on.  He stared at them, sighing inwardly.  In the past, he would’ve eagerly reached for a package of those.   Moon had loved them.  She’d eat them every single day that seemed acceptable.  Which to her was everyday.

He let out a long breath and turned towards the counter, willing himself not to cry.  He set his items on it and looked up at the cashier, smiling.  She smiled back at him.

“Hello, sir!  Did you find everything ok?”

Namjoon nodded. “I did, thank you.”

Silence reigned as she scanned his items and placed them in a bag.

“You have a cat?” she asked as she scanned the cat food he was buying.

“Um…yes.”

“Oh, I’ve always wanted a cat.  I love cats.  But my apartment complex doesn’t allow pets, so I’ve never been able to have one.”

Namjoon stared down at the counter as she droned on, hoping she’d be done soon so he could pay and leave.  Moon had loved cats.  So much.  And finding another girl who seemed to have the same passion for cats that Moon had hurt him so bad.  He couldn’t handle it.  The second he’d payed, he collected his items and ran out the door, finally letting himself cry as he walked home.

Liquid grief ran down his face as he walked, effectively freezing to his skin in the frigid winter air.  When he finally arrived home, he was greeted by the soft meows of Shiro.  It lent Namjoon some comfort, knowing that the small cat was still here with him.  If he didn’t have Moon, he at least had Shiro.

Maybe one day, he would wake up to be comforted by the memory of Moon rather than being grieved by it.  He knew it wouldn’t be any time soon, but he could fervently hope that day would come.