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Chapter 11: The Engagement’s Off! – June 29, 2019

Namjoon gazed down at her, his heart breaking in his eyes.  She wasn’t saying anything.  He felt like he was about to pass out.  His heart was beating so fast.  Had he gone too far?  Should he have given her more time to get used to the idea of being with him?

Eunji stared up at him.  Her finger had stilled on his palm.  Her eyes were flooding with tears.  Once she had dreamed he would say those words to her.  Oh, she had never dreamed them that beautifully, but the sentiment – the sentiment had spun around in her head.  The notion that Namjoon wanted her and thought of her every day.  And now he was telling her he had.  He did.  Long after all her dreams had died, he was now admitting that his were still alive.  That he had loved her – wanted her – all along.

In that moment, her thoughts of Tae were fading away.  There was something deep and alluring in Namjoon’s quiet nature.  In his chocolate eyes.  Was he the reason Tae had never tried to kiss her?  Had Tae known that his big brother was in love with her?

How had she been so blind?

“You…” she whispered, nearly choking on her dry throat.  All her moisture had fled at his words.  “You love me?  You’ve thought of me every day since you left for college?”

“Every single day,” he nodded his head, his eyes still intent on hers. “I took you with me.  Eunji, you have always been with me.  I could never forget you.”

He broke his promise to himself then.  He reached out and grasped her hand and pulled it towards his mouth.  He turned it over and splayed her fingers.  Then he bent his head and kissed the center of her palm.

Everything within her melted instantly at the touch of his soft lips on her skin.  She swallowed as she gazed down at his mouth on her hand.  Then he straightened and set her hand back in her lap.  But he lost his balance suddenly and followed his hand.  He reached out to steady himself and his hand caught her kneecap.  He stilled instantly.  He was turning red. 

She watched his face flushing and the embarrassment clearly written in his eyes.  And she knew she’d left him hanging too long.  He was afraid she didn’t reciprocate his feelings.  But she felt frozen.  The shock was too great.  It was one thing to think he might be attracted to her.  But to find out that he had nourished a burning love for her in his heart for six long years!   How was she to take that in quickly?

Her heart was flowing towards him.  But this was all so new.  So…extraordinary.  When her father had encouraged her to marry Namjoon, she had never guessed that Namjoon cherished a secret love for her in his heart.

He was about to stand up when he glanced into her face once last time and saw a tear trickle down her cheek.  He frowned.  He leaned back on his haunches and whispered brokenly, “I made you cry?  Why?”

She couldn’t speak.  It was impossible.  Her heart was slamming against her lungs, stifling them.  She was terrified.  Namjoon loved her!  It was more than she could take in.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.  “I never should have approached our appas.  I should have come directly to you.  I realize that now.  I…it’s just that I was afraid you’d reject me.  And my appa had told me once your father would be receptive if I ever wanted to take your hand in marriage.  I knew they were hoping to merge the companies and would welcome a union between us as a seal of that partnership.  But I was so unfair to you.  I knew you liked Tae.  I…I’m so sorry, Eunji,” his voice broke on the second-to-last word.  

His heart was shattering in his chest.  “I release you from the engagement.  I can only beg your forgiveness.”  Now tears were coursing down his cheeks.