Blog

Chapter 11: Expecting – June 16 – September 1, 2024

“Yuni, are you about all packed up?” Yunseong asked her sister on a busy Sunday afternoon.

Yunyeong nodded.  “Seokie is going to start bringing his stuff over in an hour.  They have to be out of their apartment by tomorrow night.”

Yunseong smiled.  “Tae is taking the last of our stuff over to our new house right now.  Oh, Yuni!  I’m so excited to be moving into a bigger place.”  She glanced around her twin’s room.  “I will miss this old house, though.  But I feel okay about moving now that I know Seokie will be looking after our home.”

Yunyeong’s smile wavered as she glanced around her room.  “I know exactly how you feel.  I’ve been experiencing a lot of mixed emotions this week.  Packing up all our old things.  Looking around at all the places we hid when we played hide-and-seek as kids.  Remembering all the movies we watched in the living room.  And Appa carrying us around on his back when we were little.”

“That’s the hardest part for me too,” Yunseong admitted.  “Leaving behind the memories of Appa.”

“But we don’t have to.  Seokie is going to keep them safe for us.”  Now Yunyeong’s face stretched into a sweet smile.  “And he’s going to make new memories here.  He’s going to be the appa in this house soon.”

Yunseong’s eyes collided with hers.  “Is Heejin pregnant?”

“Not that I know of.  But I’m sure one of these days they’ll decide to have a family.  I can’t imagine Seokie not being an appa someday.”

Yunseong walked across the room to stare out the window.  “Me neither,” she replied as she relived a certain memory. 

She saw her appa swinging her high under the shade of the tree he’d planted in their yard the year the triplets were born.  He had planted one tree outside of each of his children’s bedrooms.  One tree for each child.  Those trees were tall and strong now.  Just like his children.  They might miss him, but for several years he had given them an excellent foundation upon which to grow.  The years following his death had tested them all, but somehow they had each found their way home again.  And all three of them had found someone to love.  Someone who, in turn, returned their affection and devotion.

“He’d be proud of us, I think,” Yunyeong murmured suddenly, reading her twin’s mind.

Yunseong turned around to catch her eye.  “I suspect you’re right.”  She blinked, and a tear slid down her cheek.  “I still miss him.”

“I think,” her sister responded, “we will always miss him.  We were never meant to be without him.  But he would be happy to see us all settled with someone who loves us.  We’ve been so blessed, Yun.  Immensely blessed.”

Yunseong couldn’t argue with that.  But, truthfully, she had seldom won an argument with her quiet sister.

—

A few days later, Tae and his wife left Seulgi with Yunyeong as they visited the doctor’s office.  They were both looking forward to the results of this momentous day.  Secretly, they were also both hoping for a boy.  But neither of them had shared that information with the other.   Half an hour later, they were each responding to the news that Yunseong was carrying a healthy baby.

She turned her head to see Tae’s face.  She clearly remembered the last time they’d been staring at a sonogram screen together.  He had been weeping over the image of a little girl who wasn’t even his own.  How was he greeting the news that he had given her a son?

She disturbed a flood of tears in his eyes.  Right before they swiveled her way.  

“We’re having a boy, Yun!” he exclaimed.  

Once again, he wanted to twirl her around, but she was still lying on that table.  So he simply grinned at her as those tears broke free to run down his face.  Yunseong recognized a deep ache erupting from within her heart.

She wanted this man.  This one.  Right here.  She had always wanted him.  But he grew more precious to her every day.  She was so thankful he had returned to her.  

She couldn’t help but contrast the way he had responded to the news of this pregnancy with the manner in which Seunghan had reacted to Seulgi’s existence.  Night and day.  And the recollection of the difference made her own tears spill down her cheeks.  Seulgi was so loved.  But not by the man whose seed had produced her precious, little body.  

No, she was loved by a man who had taken no personal pleasure in creating her.  Yet he had adopted her as his own even before he ever saw her beautiful face.  He had taken responsibility for her and offered to finance her entire life.  To pay for her every need.  He had been so faithful in the care of another man’s child that today he had been rewarded with a son.  With more responsibility.  And more joy.  Once again, he was ecstatic.  His bliss was making Yunseong high on love.

“Indeed, we are, Tae,” she smiled at him through her tears.

“Our family is complete now!” his jubilant voice sounded.

“Is it?” she responded, surprised.  “I thought you’d want more children.”  It was a statement, but her tone was questioning.

“With you?  In a heartbeat, Yun.  I’d take a couple more of these precious beings.  Especially if they have your emerald eyes.”

She smiled at him through those green beauties.  Yep, Tae was every bit as wonderful as she’d always believed.

—

“Yuni!  We’re having a boy!” Yunseong informed her sister an hour later.

“You are?  That’s wonderful, Yun!”

But Yunseong didn’t miss the tremor that passed over her sister’s face.  “What’s wrong?”

Yunyeong sniffed.  “Nothing.  I’m so happy for you!”

“Yuni.  You forget that I’m your twin.  I know when something is wrong.  What’s up?”

“It’s probably nothing.  I’m just being silly.”

“Spill it.”

“Kookie and I are trying for another baby too.”

Yunseong’s face split into a wide grin.  “That’s great!”

“It is.  It’s just that we’ve been trying for a couple of months, and I haven’t gotten pregnant yet.  I’m just a little nervous.  I got pregnant with Jangmi right away after we started trying.”

“It’ll happen.  Sometimes, it just takes a little while.  Besides, you don’t want them too close together.  Do you?”

“No, that’s true.”

“You’ve probably just been stressed with the move.  And you’re still nursing Jangmi.  Maybe your body knows you’re just not ready yet.”

“Hmm.  I didn’t think of that.  Thank you so much, Yun.”  She gave her sister a hug.  “You make me feel better.”

“It’ll be all right, Yuni.  You’ll see.”  She smiled at her sister.  “But I do hope you get pregnant soon.  It would be so great if our children are close together!  More ready-made friends!  Hopefully, they’ll both be boys!”

Yunyeong hoped so too.

—

On the twenty-fifth of July, Namjoon left home early in the morning to head into work. He had several projects that he needed to assign others to cover during his coming vacation time.  At twenty-three minutes past eight in the morning, his phone suddenly rang.  An excited voice greeted him.

Namjoon?”

“Hello!” He was quite cheerful today and very happy to hear from his wife.

“It’s time.”

“It’s time?!”

“Yep.  How soon can you be home?  I need to go to the hospital soon.”

“You mean?”

“Yep!  Little Yoongi is on his way!”

“I’m headed your way right now.”  He ended the call.

Eunji smiled as she clicked Nari’s number to call her.  She was so relieved that her best friend had moved back to Busan a couple of months ago.  Nari was also due to deliver her son at any moment.  They would now be able to raise these little boys together.  And Namjoon was ecstatic that Yoongi had returned.  Though, he was still often out of town performing concerts around the world.  But, at least, they got to see him several times a month now. 

“Nari?”

“Is it time?” 

“It is!  Can you come pick up Tae?” 

Nari had agreed to babysit while Eunji was in labor.

“I’m right around the corner.  I’ll be there soon.”

—

Several hours later, Eunji gave birth to a healthy, little boy, whom she named after her brother.  The elder Yoongi was the first man to visit his nephew.  After Namjoon, of course.  Yoongi and Nari had brought Jungju and little Tae up to the hospital to meet his baby brother. 

Tiny Tae was bouncing up and down with excitement. Eunji greeted her older son with a big smile.

“Hi, baby.  Are you excited to meet your little brother?”

“I not a baby, Eomma!  Wittle brudder is baby!” Tae responded heatedly.  He was trying to climb up in the big hospital bed, but his foot kept slipping on the blanket.

“Hey, buddy, let me help you,” Namjoon offered as he reached down and scooped his little boy up in his arms.  He deposited his son next to Eunji.

Tae sat up straight in the bed and leaned over to coo in the baby’s face.  “Hi, Yoon.  I your big brudder.  Tae.”

“Would you like to hold him, sweetheart?” Eunji asked.

The tiny boy grinned and nodded vociferously.  Namjoon showed him how to hold his baby brother.  Then the proud appa stationed himself on the side of the bed so that Tae couldn’t drop his brother on the floor.

After a while, the adults all got a turn to hold the little bundle of joy.  And Jungju also got the opportunity.  He very proudly cradled his tiny cousin. 

He glanced up at Nari and exclaimed, “Eomma, I can’t wait until Junghee gets here!  I bet he’ll be every bit as cute as this little guy.”

Nari smiled down at her now eight-year-old son and wondered where the years had gone.  She still remembered when he was as tiny as baby Yoongi.  Or even as capable as three-year-old Tae.

Eunji piped up.  “Junghee will be every bit as adorable as you were when you were born, Jungju.”

“That was a long time ago,” he mumbled as he smiled down at the baby sleeping in his arms.

His mother would have agreed a few years ago, but now it seemed that she’d been changing his diapers just yesterday.  She caught Eunji’s eye and smiled ruefully at her friend.  Eunji understood.  She couldn’t even believe that Tae was already three years old.  She couldn’t begin to imagine her son being halfway through primary school!

All of a sudden, Nari hissed. 

Yoongi glanced sharply at his wife.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.  I think the baby just kicked me in a sensitive spot.”

Yoongi continued to watch Nari closely.  “Why don’t we take the boys and head home?”

Namjoon looked at his friend.  “Are you sure you want to watch Tae tonight?”

“Yes.  That way you can stay with Eunji,” Nari replied. 

Yoongi nodded his agreement.

Namjoon smiled ruefully.  “Thank you both.”  Then he glanced at his son.  “Tae, come give Appa a hug. You’re gonna go have a sleepover with Jungju tonight, okay?”

The little boy’s eyes lit up.  “We build fort?”

Yoongi chuckled. 

Jungju nodded his head.  “Sure, Tae.  We can build a fort.”

Tiny Tae rushed to give his appa a hug.  Then he leaned down from his father’s arms to kiss his eomma on the cheek before he skipped out of the room as he held Yoongi’s hand.  Yoongi glanced down at the tiny boy and felt his heart spasm.  He remembered when Jungju was this little.  And now he was about to welcome another little son.  He was glad that he and Nari got to revisit those years again.  They had flown by way too fast.  He caught Nari’s eye and expected her to be thinking similar thoughts, but she appeared to be distracted.

“Nari,” he whispered roughly.

She glanced up at him.  “I’m fine, Yoongi.  Let’s head home.” 

—

Several hours later, Yoongi joined his wife in bed.  She tossed one way and then another before she finally settled down.  He awoke at four in the morning to find her missing.  He wandered out to the living room.  She was watching television.

“Nari?  Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I can’t.  I keep having contractions.”

“I knew it!”  Yoongi exclaimed as Nari continued speaking.

“Not often enough to mean anything.  Just often enough to be irritating.  I can’t sleep.  I can’t even find a comfortable position.”

“Oh, baby.  I’m sorry.”  He sat down next to her.  “Can I do anything to help you feel better?”

“Have this baby for me,” she murmured with a teasing smile.  But then she grimaced in pain.

Yoongi winced.  “I really think you’re much better suited to this than I am.”

“Can you make me some tea then?”

“Absolutely!” Yoongi sighed with relief as he headed for the kitchen.

But her voice stopped him a moment later.  “Yoongi?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m just really glad that you’ve taken the next three weeks off.  Thank you for being here with me.  Just your presence is a comfort.”

He smiled as he ambled off to fill her tea order.  It was too bad they didn’t have any lemon tart.  Maybe if he searched the kitchen, he could find a dessert of some sort to serve her with the tea.

—

Nari was miserable for several days.  Finally, around ten o’clock in the evening on the twenty-ninth of July, her water broke.

“Oh, merciful heavens!” she exclaimed.  “Thank God!  Yoongi, grab the bag and call Namjoon.  Ask if it’s he’s still okay with us dropping Jungju off at their house.”

After they left their son with the Kims, they headed for the hospital.  At three-oh-nine in the morning, they welcomed their tiny son into the world. 

As Yoongi stood cradling the newborn in his arms, Nari watched him.  The man was a born father.  He was gazing tenderly down at their tiny new addition.

“Hello, Junghee.  We’ve been eagerly awaiting your arrival.  You have a big brother who is chomping at the bit to meet you.  But since you decided to come in the middle of the night, you’ll have to wait a few hours to meet him,” Yoongi smiled down at the tiny baby.  “It seems you’re not going to stay awake to meet him either,” he chuckled a moment later.  Then he glanced at his wife.  “How are you doing?”

“I am exhausted, Yoongi, but happy.  If you don’t mind, I’m going to take a nap.”

“Go right ahead, my dear.  I will take care of this little one while you sleep.”  Yoongi settled himself in a chair while Nari closed her eyes.

—

The next morning, Namjoon and Jungju came to visit.  Jungju rushed into the room.

“Where is he?  Where’s Junghee?”  The boy’s face split into a wide grin as he saw his eomma cradling his tiny brother in her arms.  “Can I hold him?  Oh!  He’s so cute!”

He sat down in the chair indicated by his appa and held his arms out to receive the adorable bundle that Yoongi deposited there a moment later.  Jungju beamed down at Junghee and informed him, “I’ve waited a long time for a baby brother!  You’re finally here!  Now I’ll have someone to play basketball with me when Appa is out of town.”

Yoongi grinned at Namjoon.

“How is Eunji?” Nari asked.

“She’s fine.  She asked me the same thing about you.”

“I’m fine too.  Just tired.”  She frowned.  “And hungry.”

Yoongi’s lips twitched.  “I’ll see if I can find some lemon tart.”

She glanced sharply at him and growled.

His eyebrows challenged the clouds overhead.  And he backed up a bit. 

Namjoon looked from one to the other and snickered.  “Private joke, I take it?” he murmured.

“Something like that,” Yoongi smirked.  “I’ll look for chocolate torte too,” he muttered. 

Nari responded, “Come back with both.  In fact, I’m hungry enough to eat the entire trinity.”

“I’m not sure how much luck I’m going to have in the hospital cafeteria,” Yoongi sighed.

She grinned at him teasingly.  “Really, honey, I’ll eat anything.  Just bring me some food!  Please!”

“All right.  That I can do.”  Yoongi wandered out the door.

“Eunji wanted to come with me, but she had a rough night with little Yoon, so I told her to sleep in.  He’s sleeping like a rock now that the sun is shining.”

Nari grimaced.  “Yeah, our little one was born in the middle of the night, so I’m hoping he doesn’t confuse night and day too.”

Namjoon smiled down at her.  “Would you like me to leave Jungju with you both today?”

Nari glanced at her older son.  “What do you want to do, Jungju?”

“Stay here with Junghee.” 

The boy was clearly smitten with his younger brother already.

Nari beamed at her sons before turning towards her friend.  “Thank you, Namjoon.”

“I’m going to head home.  I want to make sure Eunji gets enough rest today.  Besides, I’m kinda attached to our new little guy.”

She smiled at her husband’s best friend.  “Imagine that,” she murmured.  Then her eyes returned to the children who had each found a special place in her heart.  Right next to their precious appa.  She was pretty attached to all of them too.

—

A few days after the middle of August, Jungkook drove his little family out to his grandparents’ house.  Yunyeong had been fairly quiet during the drive.

“Yuni, are you okay?”

“Hmm?”  She dragged her eyes away from the window to glance at her husband. 

His hand came down on top of hers.  “It’s okay, Yuni.  It’ll be all right.”

Puzzled, she furrowed her brow at him.  “What?”

“I know you’ve been concerned.  We’ve been trying for four months.  But, when the time is right, you’ll get pregnant again.”

She just smiled at him.  “Kookie, thank you for agreeing to drive me out to our garden today.”

“Are you kidding me?  You know I would live there with you if we could.”

“Someday, my love.  Someday,” she murmured as her eyes traced his beautiful face.

“I just hope it’s not too hot today.”

She studied the sky and frowned.  “Actually, it looks like it’s going to rain.”

He dipped his head and glanced out the windshield up at the clouds.  “You’re right.  Glad we’re spending the night.  Maybe it’ll be cooler tomorrow morning.”

Yunyeong hoped so.  She wanted to spend some special time alone with her husband in their favorite place.  The oasis he had built especially for her.

—

The rain had begun before they’d even arrived at his grandparents’ farm.  It had poured all afternoon and into the evening too.  But late in the evening, as Jungkook crawled into bed with his wife and daughter, who was lying between the two adults, he glanced sharply at Yunyeong before he turned off the lamp.

“Yuni,” he whispered so as not to wake up their slumbering toddler, “what’s wrong?  You’ve been so quiet tonight.”

“I’m just tired, my love.  And I was disappointed that we couldn’t visit our garden today.”

He sighed.  “I’m hoping this rain stops before the morning, so we can visit it without getting our shoes muddy.”

She nodded, but she had little hope of such an outcome now.

—

Yunyeong awoke to rain pounding on the roof.  She glanced down at her little darling.  Jangmi was still sound asleep, curled up against her appa.  At some point during the night, Jungkook had drawn her close to his side.  His arm surrounded her.  Yunyeong smiled at the touching tableau they made. 

Her eyes traced both of their faces in the forgiving light of early morning.  They both appeared golden.  Just like this moment here.  Her heart was overflowing with love for them both.  She lay for several long minutes simply staring at them.  Committing this moment to memory.  Memorizing every single detail.

The delicate curve of her baby’s dark eyelashes.  The vulnerable mounds of Kookie’s eyelids which were hiding those glorious eyes of his.  His soft, pink lips relaxed in slumber yet still begging her for another kiss.  Her Jangmi’s rosebud mouth, tender and reddish, which suddenly flexed as a tiny laugh escaped her lips.  That sound was the most precious one on the whole earth. 

Yunyeong’s eyes traced the soft, raven hairs curling around her daughter’s ear.  Jangmi was Kookie’s spitting image.  Yet not quite.  She was perfectly feminine.  Dainty where her appa was tall.  Delicate where he was strong.  She had inherited her mother’s elegant bone structure.  Yet her temperament, her laughter, her smile, her eyes, even her face, echoed his.

“I love you,” Yunyeong whispered as she bent her head and brushed her lips across her baby’s cheek before kissing Jungkook on his forehead.  A lock of his raven hair tickled her nose, making her smile.  

Then she crawled out of bed and headed for the living room.  As the rain came down in blinding sheets, she stood at the back window staring at the wall that surrounded her garden.  Yunyeong watched the rivulets of raindrops creating streams of water along the ground.  Those little rivers were running towards her garden.  Her heart sank.  She had so hoped to tell him today.  In their garden. 

But the angry clouds were getting in her way.  Spitting their fury down upon the earth.

“Yuni?” a gentle voice spoke from behind her. 

The love in that dear voice, in that one uttered word, overwhelmed her.

She turned to face her husband.  “Kookie,” she smiled.  “Why are you up, my love?”

“I came out here to ask you the same thing.”

She glanced towards the window.  “I was just watching the rain.”

“You’re disappointed,” he murmured as he crossed the room to wind his arms around her and draw her close to him.  Then he bent his head to brush his mouth across hers.

She nodded.

“Why?” he whispered against her lips.

“Because I wanted to tell you in our garden.”

He drew slightly away from her before his midnight eyes danced with her emerald orbs.  “Tell me what?”

She smiled suddenly and finished her earlier thought.  “Just like I did with Jangmi…you’re going to be an appa again, Kookie.”

Lightning struck then.  It struck his countenance.  His whole face was alight with joy at the prospect of fathering a second child. 

“Really, Yuni?!  You’re pregnant?!  That’s wonderful!”  He picked her up and spun her around. 

She laughed. 

“It’s okay that you didn’t tell me in our garden.  Not every bit of momentous news in our lives has to be delivered there.”

“I know.  I just—”

She glanced back towards the garden.  “Our garden is such a refuge for me.  It’s been a place of such healing, Kookie.” 

She suddenly surprised them both by sobbing.  Her stunning eyes found his again.  “You cannot know how dreary my life was before you entered it.  Before you spent a summer building me that lovely garden.  I was hiding from the whole world.  But you invaded my life with your beautiful self, your gorgeous colors, your blooming garden.  You saved my life, Kookie.  You brought me back from a place of such darkness that sometimes I wondered if I would be better off dead.  But you changed all of that.”  That crystalline green gaze of hers delved deeply into his dark eyes.  “You gave me an inconceivable gift.  A place of such indescribable beauty that it still takes my breath away.”

“It’s just a rose garden, Yuni.”

“I wasn’t talking about the garden, Kookie.”

Two tiny lines appeared between his midnight eyebrows.

“I was talking about your heart.”

She lifted her face and surrendered her lips to him again.  And, as always, he took infinite care with them.  And with the rest of her most cherished person.  Yuni was still that precious to him. 

His strong hand came up, and his elegant fingers gently caressed her abdomen as his lips played a delightful melody along hers.  Today, she was even more precious to him, for once again she carried his seed within her.  Perhaps, a son this time.