Chapter 17: The Hole in the Heart – November 22, 2024
Something had shifted between them. When Dahui returned to school on Monday morning, her appa walked into the classroom and greeted Haewon cheerfully. He repeated the process each morning and every afternoon all week long. He and Haewon even traded text messages each evening too. Truthfully, he wanted to invite her to dinner at their apartment again, but he was trying to limit her exposure to their surroundings until he knew all Dahui’s cold germs had been defeated.
Friday dawned clear and frigid. With Dahui in tow, Myeong arrived at school early to help Haewon oversee the students as they prepared to leave for their class trip to the aquarium. No one was absent, so the two of them would be going on a date with twenty children today.
Surprisingly, the day flew by, and both adults found themselves fairly exhausted by the end of it. As Haewon bid her last student goodbye, she turned a cheerful smile upon Myeong and asked him a question.
“Still feel like taking me to dinner?”
“Absolutely.” He paused then finished, “At my apartment tonight.”
She sighed with relief. As much as she wanted to go out with him, she was too tired to spend all night sitting straight up in a chair at a fancy table. She wanted to lounge on a couch and eat some takeout. She told him as much.
He grinned. “I’m so glad. I thought you’d be disappointed. But I couldn’t find anyone to take Dahui tonight. Or to babysit at my place. And I’m exhausted too. How do you keep up with twenty fourth graders every day?”
She laughed. “Well, for starters, they usually spend most of the day seated in this classroom. I rarely have to wander around with them.”
“That’s good. Otherwise, I might start to worry about you.”
His piercing, blue eyes were delving into the depths of hers again. She shivered. She’d never get tired of gazing into those intriguing eyes.
“Shall we grab some takeout on our way back to my apartment?”
“Yes!”
They headed for the door.
—
All three of them had settled into the couch with their takeout containers and were deep into watching a drama when Myeong’s phone rang. He didn’t recognize the number, but he didn’t want to miss a new business contact, so he paused their television program and answered the call.
He was speaking with a man named Naru. The man was seeking information on Dahui. His wife. Not his daughter.
Haewon noticed that Myeong visibly paled as he listened to the person on the other end of the phone call. She stopped chewing and stared at him.
“I’m sorry, but why are you looking for her?”
“My eomma put her baby girl up for adoption over thirty years ago. I didn’t find out until three years ago. But she’s still obviously disturbed by the loss of her daughter. I began to look for her a couple of years ago, but I didn’t find out anything concrete until earlier this year in May. I was given only one piece of information. That my sister passed away ten years ago. Obviously, this was crushing news. But learning she’d lived to be twenty-three years old, I wondered if she had had any children before she died. I haven’t told my eomma that her daughter died. I’m hoping that I can give her some good news. That she has another grandchild out there.”
So he was looking for Dahui’s daughter.
“Another?”
“Several years after my eomma gave her baby girl away, she married my appa. Eventually, she had two more children. Me and my twin sister. My sister has two children. So do I.”
“How did you get my number?” Myeong queried.
“Three months ago, I finally hired a private investigator. He unearthed some record somewhere which claimed my eomma’s daughter was named Cho Dahui. He also discovered that she married over ten years ago and gave birth to a daughter, Kang Dahui. My sister did, in fact, die in childbirth.
“I’m terribly sorry if I’m bothering you, but the records he found said she was married to a Kang Myeong. He gave me this phone number because he believed that you were my sister’s husband. I’m praying this is true. I’ve spent a long time looking for my family. If your daughter is my eomma’s long-lost granddaughter, then she has an aunt and uncle, four cousins, and a grandmother and grandfather who would all love to know her.”
Myeong sat frozen. His brain didn’t seem to be working. Finally, as the silence stretched between them, he murmured, “I have your number now. I’m in the middle of something right now. Can I call you back tomorrow?”
This response gave Naru hope that he had found the right family. “Certainly. Thank you for your time. I look forward to your phone call tomorrow. Have a good evening.”
Myeong set his phone on the coffee table. Haewon’s brow wrinkled as she studied his face. “What’s going on?”
“Just some business,” he murmured vaguely, but she saw how his eyes strayed towards his daughter’s face. Something was haunting him.
“Appa, can we watch the rest of the movie?” Dahui asked him.
He nodded and unpaused the program, but Haewon couldn’t wait until Dahui went to sleep. She wanted to question him further, but she knew not to do it in front of the girl.
For his part, Myeong forgot he was on a date. He couldn’t concentrate on the movie anymore either. His mind just kept returning to that odd phone call. He had never dreamed that anyone from Dahui’s birth family would ever look him up.
Now he recalled several conversations he had had with his dear Dahui years ago. Within the first couple of years that they began dating in high school. He remembered the first such conversation. He had visited her at her house one Saturday when her parents had been gone on some trip. When Dahui had answered the door, Myeong had seen the evidence of her grief clearly displayed on her countenance.
“What’s wrong?” he asked as he crossed the threshold of her house.
She sniffed and walked into the living room. She threw herself down on the couch and grabbed a Kleenex. “Would you still like me if you knew I was adopted?”
Her parents had never hidden it from her. They’d been in their fifties when they had adopted her. Having worked most of their lives – very successfully – they’d been quite rich by the time she came along. They had adopted her through a top-notch adoption agency and requested a closed adoption. They didn’t want the birth parents popping in and disrupting their lives.
Mrs. Cho had chosen to continue working after they’d adopted Dahui, so her parents had hired a nanny to care for her. They’d kept the woman on staff until Dahui entered high school. Her heart had been broken when they had finally let the woman go. Nanny Ann had been with Dahui her whole life. She had been the lonely girl’s best friend and truest confidante.
Myeong stared at Dahui. “Are you adopted?”
She nodded. “What’s wrong with me, Myeong?”
Puzzled, he frowned. “What? There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“Obviously, there is. My own eomma didn’t want me! Nor my appa!” She began to weep again. “And my parents are never here. They pawned me off on a nanny after they brought me home. She raised me until they let her go a few months ago. Now when they leave town on their business trips, I have nobody. I’m all alone.” A tear trickled down her cheek.
“Are they gone again?” he asked.
Her chin bobbed up and down.
Myeong reached for her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close to his heart. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Dahui,” he echoed his earlier sentiment. “I cannot imagine how your birth mother could have given you away. It must have broken her heart to do so. Maybe she was a teenager like you. Maybe she couldn’t take care of a baby.”
“I don’t know! They won’t tell me anything about her. Or about my appa. My parents just said they didn’t want me and gave me up for adoption. But I want to know my eomma. And my appa. If they ever wanted me, I want to know them.” Then she had pulled away from him to look in his eyes. “What if I have siblings? A sister? A brother? I want to know, Myeong.”
That curiosity had continued to burn in her heart. Even when she’d been pregnant with their daughter. Now he recalled one night shortly before his wife died. They’d been lying in bed talking.
“Myeong, do you think we could hire a private investigator? To find my birth parents? I don’t want our daughter to grow up without any family around her. I want her to know her grandparents. I want her to know her aunts and her uncles. If my eomma had children, then our daughter could have cousins to play with someday. I want to find them.”
He had agreed, though he had decided to put it off until after their daughter’s birth. Such concerns had faded away when Dahui had unexpectedly died on the birthing table. Myeong had had his hands full raising a newborn without her. He’d had to learn how to make formula and change diapers and comfort a motherless child. He had hired a nanny but only to cover the hours that he had to work to make a living.
During the rest of each day, he held his daughter himself. She was precious. His wife had paid with her life to birth this priceless being. She was all he had left of the woman he had loved for years. And he well remembered how rejected his wife had felt by all of her parents. He wasn’t about to let his daughter grow up with such insecurity. So he lavished his love on her. He always had. He still did. He always would.
Now as his eyes traced Dahui’s precious, little face, he remembered all the desires in his wife’s heart. How that heart had longed to connect their daughter with her mother’s birth family. And it seemed that God had now handed him the opportunity to do just that. So…why was contemplating such a step so scary?
Perhaps because he had had Dahui all to himself for ten years. He wasn’t sure that he was willing to share her with anyone else. His gaze shifted to the sweet woman sitting beside him.
He liked having Dahui’s undivided attention. Except that he had become willing in the past month to share her with Haewon. He had seen Dahui blossoming under her teacher’s positive attention. His daughter glowed with happiness when she was around the woman. He realized that Dahui needed a loving mother just as much as her own eomma had always desired one. He didn’t have it in him to deny her a connection with Haewon. In fact, he was beginning to hope that perhaps this special woman was part of her future…and his.
But was he willing to allow some strangers into her life? That seemed dangerous. Certainly, scary. What did he know of these people who claimed to be related to his daughter?
Absolutely nothing.
He picked up his phone and googled Naru’s name.
Beom Naru.
He wasn’t quite prepared for what he found. Certainly, this man wasn’t looking for money. He already had a ton of it if the articles written about him were true. He was a very successful businessman whose father owned several companies.
Both Naru and his twin sister, Nari – it appeared the man had spoken the truth – helped their appa to run his companies. Her husband was a famous concert pianist. But there was little information about Naru’s wife and children. Still, Myeong found enough information to satisfy him.
He glanced at several pictures of the family and even found a couple of Dahui’s supposed birth mother, a woman named Aejeong. She was a pretty woman. After continuing his online search, he came across an older picture of her. As he stared at this photograph, a chill crept up his back. His wife had been a carbon copy of this woman. Aejeong had to be Dahui’s birth mother.
He felt like bursting into tears. His wife had possessed two dreams. The first had been to find her real mother. The second had been to become a mother herself. Neither of those dreams had ever come true. Or perhaps, he should say that they had both come true too late. Neither of his Dahuis had ever known her mother. An immense sorrow swamped him for a little while.
Haewon could feel it. Something was very wrong. She sat through the movie without paying it much mind. She was much more interested in what was going on in the heart of the man sitting next to her. She kept glancing between his face and his phone. He was looking at articles about the Beom family. Why?
Beom. Beom. That name rang a bell. Suddenly, she sat bolt upright. She knew exactly who the Beom family was.
Beom Naru was now married to the woman Eunho had attempted to rape a few months before he’d married Haewon. Minha was her name. And Eunho had known Naru’s mother. She’d been a friend of his stepmother’s. Eunho had, in fact, spoken with Naru’s mother when he was attempting to find Minha so he could apologize to her. He had left his letter in Mrs. Beom’s possession. Presumably, she had passed it on to Naru and Minha.
The question was…why was Myeong so interested in the Beom family? He’d been completely preoccupied since receiving that strange call over an hour ago. A dazed expression in his eyes, he’d sat stewing about something for a long time. Then he’d abruptly picked up his phone and begun searching the internet for articles about Naru and the remainder of the Beom family.
—
Dahui had never known her mother. But here was the opportunity for her to know her grandmother. And her aunt. And her uncle. And her cousins. She did, in fact, have two aunts and two uncles. And four cousins. And a grandmother. And a grandfather.
These were gifts that Myeong had believed his daughter would never possess. Dahui’s adoptive parents had both died in an automobile accident the year before she’d become pregnant with their daughter. His own appa had died when Myeong was a child, and his eomma had passed away during his first year in college.
The death of Dahui’s parents had left them rich in finances but poor in family. Myeong had put most of that money away for his daughter’s future. He made a very comfortable living, and they lived in a nice apartment. But he had seen quite clearly through his precious wife’s life that money was not the answer to every problem. And sometimes it created problems. Dahui had grown up in the lap of luxury, never wanting for any material thing, but the one thing she’d desired most in the world money could not buy. Her parents’ affection.
She had never received it. At least, not in any form that she recognized as love. They had died and left her their fortune, yet she had still been carrying around a humongous hole in her heart. A hole that even Myeong had never felt like he could fill. His wife had longed for her true family. She had always questioned whether the love she had lacked had been whisked away from her when her birth parents had walked out of her life.
What if his own daughter had a similar hole in her heart because she’d never known her mother? What if she needed to get to know the Beom family? What if some of her future happiness was tied up in her grandmother, her aunt, her uncle, and her cousins? What if blood spoke?
Could he really deny his daughter the opportunity for such happiness just because he was afraid of the outcome?
His heart felt like it was on fire tonight. The movie seemed to be days long. Finally, it came to an end.
“That was a cute movie,” Dahui opined.
But she was the only one with an opinion.
“Okay, button,” her appa finally spoke, “time for you to get ready for bed.”
“Appa,” she whined, “I don’t want to sleep yet. Mrs. Wang is still here!”
“You’ve had a long day, and you’ve just recovered from being sick. You should rest your body,” Haewon responded calmly. “You’ll see me again tomorrow. I promise. Go sleep now.”
She was just as antsy as Myeong was. Instinctively, she knew he wouldn’t speak until his daughter was in bed. And Haewon’s curiosity was burning a hole through her consciousness. It had been for nearly two hours.
Finally, fifteen minutes later, Dahui was settled in her bed, and Myeong was sitting next to Haewon on the couch once more.
“Myeong,” Haewon urged, “spill it. What was that phone call about earlier? And why were you looking up information on the Beom family earlier tonight?”
Startled, he glanced into her eyes. “You know the Beom family?”
“Sort of.” She sighed. “My husband, you’ll recall, was a mess before he married me. He attempted to rape a girl about a year before he married me. That girl is now Naru’s wife. Eunho attended a party at Mrs. Beom’s house and followed Minha upstairs to Naru’s bedroom. Eunho attacked her there. Naru dragged him off her and together they rearranged Eunho’s lip.”
His eyebrows in the heavens now, Myeong asked, “What do you mean, they rearranged his lip?”
“She bit through it and Naru punched him in the mouth. Eunho’s lip never fully recovered.”
Haewon could still remember the knotty scar under his bottom lip. She had kissed it often. But it hadn’t been as bad as the scars on his back. She shuddered at the remembrance.
“Have you ever met the Beom family?” Myeong questioned her.
“A few times. When I was much younger. Before high school. I think Eunho’s stepmother invited my eomma to a couple of get-togethers at their house. I don’t remember ever meeting their children. But I do remember Mrs. Beom. She was always kind to me.”
He cleared his throat and glanced down at the picture of her on his phone. “Dahui looked just like her.”
Haewon studied the photograph too. “Dahui looked just like Mrs. Beom?”
She glanced across the room at a picture of his wife that was hanging on the wall. Haewon realized he was correct. She also had to acknowledge the resemblance.
“Mmhmm,” he murmured.
Haewon searched his face. “Myeong, I won’t know what you’re thinking if you don’t tell me.”
Her words seemed an echo of Dahui’s in his recent dream.
“I know there are many beautiful things hidden in your heart. Please…let them out! Share them with me. I want to see your beautiful heart, Myeong.”
“Dahui never knew her mother either. She was adopted.”
Haewon’s eyes caressed his face as he spoke. When he ceased talking, he glanced at her.
“Her whole life she wanted to know her birth family, but her adoptive parents insisted on a closed adoption. They would never tell her who her eomma or her appa was. But, apparently, Dahui wasn’t the only one who was missing someone.”
Haewon stared at him as he paused after that mysterious statement. “What do you mean?”
“Her birth mother has always missed her. She was unwed when she became pregnant with Dahui. She didn’t have too many choices.” As he spoke, his finger was caressing the outline of the face on his phone.
“Wait a minute.” Haewon’s eyes were watching that finger. “Are you saying that Mrs. Beom is your wife’s real mother?”
He nodded. “I think so. That phone call I took earlier, it was Naru. He was calling looking for the family of his mother’s daughter. The one she gave up for adoption. He knew that Dahui had died. And somehow, he learned that she had been married and that she’d given birth to a daughter. He was calling seeking me and Dahui. He and his eomma want to meet us. They want to know, in particular, Dahui.”
He lifted sad eyes to her. “What do I do? Should I protect Dahui from them? Or should I encourage her to embrace them?”
“It’s easy enough these days to take a genetic test. You could know for certain whether or not they are truly her family before you allow them any contact with her.”
“That is true. But I don’t think I need the test.” Again his eyes caressed the picture on his phone. “What are the chances that this woman looked just like my wife yet wasn’t related to her? And that Naru’s private investigator claimed they were mother and daughter?” He took a deep breath. “It’s not like they’re fortune hunters. They’re all rich. They have no need of Dahui’s inheritance.”
Her eyes widened in shock. “Are you saying your wife was rich?”
He nodded. “She was. Her parents both died nearly two years before she did. They left their fortune to her. I’ve tied most of it up in a trust for my daughter. But it does exist.” He glanced at her. “Dahui doesn’t know anything about it.”
“That’s probably wise,” Haewon murmured, but she was in shock.
She couldn’t believe how interconnected life was. That Dahui might be related to the Beoms was startling. So was learning that she was an heiress. Of course, Haewon’s family weren’t strangers to wealth either. But she had chosen to lead a rather ordinary life. After getting her new heart anyway.
“What do I do?” He was gazing at her with concern evident in his eyes.
“What do you want to do?”
“Dahui was miserable. She always believed that she was unlovable. That if her own mother could give her away there must be something wrong with her. I…I don’t want my own daughter growing up believing that she’s not good enough.”
Haewon pouted for a moment before speaking. “Why on earth would your daughter ever believe such a thing? You are an excellent appa. She knows you adore her.”
“But Dahui always felt like she had a hole in her heart. She was missing a piece of herself because she didn’t know her parents. What if my daughter is missing that same piece because she grew up without her mother? What if I can return it to her by letting her meet her grandmother?”
Haewon just stared at him. “I…I don’t know, Myeong. I never grew up without my parents.”
“Dahui has no one but me. All of her grandparents have died. Both Dahui and I were only children. The only way my daughter is ever going to have any family outside of me is if I can find her mother’s birth family and reunite her with them. And tonight I think they found me. They’ve found us.
“It appears that she has a grandmother, a grandfather, two aunts, two uncles, and four cousins. How can I keep such a wealth of relatives from her? What if some of the answers to the questions she has about her identity are found in them? What if some of the relationships she needs to thrive will only be made with members of her eomma’s birth family? Then how could I deny her the opportunity to get to know them?”
“I have a suggestion,” Haewon murmured quietly.
“What?”
“How about you get to know them first, and then you decide?”
His lips suddenly stretched into a wide smile. “Now I see why you’re the teacher,” he muttered.
She grinned.
His smile faded. “Thank you,” he murmured.
“For what?”
“For being here tonight. When I needed you.”
He glanced down at her hand and reached out to take it in his own. While his left hand cradled it, the thumb of his right hand stroked the top of it gently. Then those piercing, blue eyes of his found her own again. Haewon was trapped in them. In that fiery gaze and between those elegant hands.
“Anytime,” she breathed.
