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It was Thursday, October 31, 2019.  Halloween.  And BTS knew what that meant.  Halloween Version Dance Practice.  This year they had decided to do something extra fruity.  (Yes, Jin, this time the pun is intended).  They were dressing up like several different kinds of fruit.  The seven of them had decided to portray a fruit salad, each one representing a different color of the rainbow.  They had attempted to create costumes that were as realistic as possible.

Taehyung was dressed like a watermelon wedge.  But this wasn’t just any old watermelon wedge.  This watermelon was complete with black seeds.  Someone had sewn clear pockets into the red flesh of Tae’s costume and slipped large, black, plastic ovals into the pockets for seeds.  This would prove to be disastrous later.  Tae’s head formed the point of the watermelon wedge, and the green rind belled out from his waist, enforcing a two-foot distance between him and anyone on either side of him.

Yoongi was dressed like a mandarin orange.  He looked like he’d been swallowed by a big, orange ball, only his head, arms, and legs visible.  Jin was dressed as…what else?  A banana.  That had been slightly peeled.  He had also decided to carry a half-peeled banana around in his hand during the dance practice.  Another bad idea.

Hobi was wearing a very creative, kiwi fruit costume.  Tae was fascinated by the brown fur covering Hobi’s kiwi fruit. Tae kept petting Hobi while they waited for dance practice to start.  Hobi was very tolerant of this persistent and irritating behavior for several moments before finally smacking Tae’s hands and moving away from him seconds before the music began.

Jungkook had chosen to clothe himself as a ginormous and very plump blueberry.  Yoongi must have been dressed as a miniature mandarin orange and Jungkook as some giant variety of blueberry because Kookie’s costume was nearly twice as big as Yoongi’s.  Kookie’s legs were only visible from below his knees, making it very difficult for him to participate in the vast majority of their dance moves.  

Jimin was dressed as a cluster of indigo grapes.  Each grape was constructed of a balloon that had been creatively attached to a green jumpsuit.  Jimin was completely covered in the round balloons, lending him a girth similar to Jungkook’s.  Finally, Namjoon was imitating a purple plum.  Somehow, he managed to make the violet fruit look dignified.  And next to Jungkook, Namjoon looked downright slender.

The seven boys lined up in preparation for dance practice.  Right before the practice began, Jin handed Yoongi an orange squirt bottle.

“What is this?” Yoongi asked.

“Orange juice.”

“What?”  Yoongi stared at it, perplexed.  “Why?”

“To make your costume more authentic.”

“What’s in your hand?” Yoongi asked Jin as he noticed a green and yellow carton in Jin’s grasp.

“Banana milk.  I wanted my costume to be authentic too.”

“But…bananas don’t make milk.”

“Hey!” Jin whispered in an aside to him.  “Don’t let Jungkook hear you say that!  He’ll be devastated.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes at Jin and prepared to stash his orange juice in the corner, but suddenly the strains of Boy with Luv started playing, so he continued to carry the squirt bottle, trying to decide how to use it as a prop while he completed the dance moves.

Jimin, the cluster of grapes, stood facing the back wall, on the far left in the back row.  Jin, the banana, stood next to him, to his right.  Which was a good thing because Jimin’s costume was so cumbersome that he took up twice as much space as Jin did.  Namjoon was a svelte plum standing between Jin and Yoongi, the plump mandarin orange.

The front row was made up of Jungkook on the left, a portly blueberry.  He was, in fact, such a giant ball that his arms were encased all the way to his elbows, his hands coming to rest on the globe that was his blueberry body.  Tae, the wide watermelon wedge hogged the center, and Hobi took up the right with his kiwi costume that better resembled a brown teddy bear than a tropical fruit.

As the music began, they all started to roll their shoulders to the left, then to the right, then backwards.  However, Jungkook, Yoongi, and Jimin were experiencing great difficulty with this particular dance move.  And Jimin’s balloon grapes kept bouncing into his face.  Then all seven members turned around towards the camera.  Yoongi held up his squirt bottle, threatening to drench the camera man.  In his right hand, Jin held his half-peeled banana out like he was brandishing a pistol in some convenience store robbery.  The banana milk carton was being crushed by his left hand as he attempted to cock his shotgun with that hand.  Tae was finding it difficult to turn around as his watermelon wedge bumped up against Jungkook’s blueberry.

As the music moved on, Tae feinted to the right.  He was supposed to weave around Hobi, but one of his pockets got caught in the furr of j-hope’s costume, and a tug of war ensued.  As Hobi grappled with his fur, attempting to dislodge it from the corner of the pocket it had snagged on, Tae gave up trying to move and began petting Hobi’s back again.  With one last mighty tug, Hobi disengaged from Tae.  As j-hope’s furr finally freed itself, it ripped the pocket, dislodging one of Tae’s watermelon seeds.  The plastic disk flew across the room, bouncing off Jungkook’s broad chest.  It then went flying towards Jimin’s head, but he ducked at the last moment, and the disc was deflected by a couple of balloons, instead smacking Hobi in the shoulder.  Thankfully, his costume was well-padded with fur, and he escaped unharmed.  

Somehow, Jimin, Jungkook, and Hobi recovered quickly as the three took center stage.  Jimin’s cluster of grapes came to lean against Hobi’s furry back before bouncing to the other side to land against the blue ball of Jungkook’s back.  They awkwardly completed their dance moves before bouncing to the right to join Tae and Jin.  Leaving more room than usual between them, the five boys began slowly sliding backwards.  Then they formed a line as Namjoon and Yoongi joined them on the left side.  

As they began to shift to the right and threw their hands up, the banana peel flew out of Jin’s grasp and fell under Jimin’s foot.  Jimin lost his balance as his shoe slid along the floor.  He fell forward, several balloons popping underneath him as the music continued without him.  Tae wandered over to help him, but thought better of it, instead pulling a balloon off Jimin’s costume before smacking it up above his head.  Jungkook did a nosedive trying to keep the balloon from hitting the floor.  His round belly came in contact with the dance floor instead as he bounced along, knocking into Yoongi, who grasped the squirt bottle at just the wrong moment, sending a stream of orange juice straight into Namjoon’s eyes. 

Backing up, his eyes closed in self-defense, Namjoon’s shoe caught on the banana peel that Jimin’s foot had previously launched into the air.  Namjoon went flying forward into Hobi, who until this moment, had emerged mostly unscathed by the chaos unfolding around him.  Knocked to the side by Namjoon’s purple plum, Hobi collided with Jungkook, bouncing off his massive chest before coming to land on his own furry back.  Jungkook’s arm went flying backward, knocking the banana milk carton out of Jin’s hand.  Dark eyes wide, Jungkook watched in horror as his beloved drink went flying up into the air, banana milk sloshing upward to overcome its straw and free itself from the confines of its rectangular carton.  

“Noooooooooo!” cried Jungkook in disappointment as he watched the flood of sweet milk seem to fall in slow motion towards the ground like some sort of white rain descending to water the floor and Hobi with its banana essence.  Unfortunately, Jimin chose that precise moment to try to stand up.  As his foot came into contact with the now wet floor, he went flying backwards this time, a bevy of balloons popping beneath his back.   

Watching all the upheaval caused by his orange juice container, Yoongi decided the wisest course of action was to separate himself from it as quickly as possible.  Without looking behind him, Yoongi tossed it over his shoulder.  Tae caught the squirt bottle squarely in his chest.  The handle of the bottle got caught in one of his pockets, so when Tae looked down, he found the bottle dangling from the center of his watermelon wedge.  He reached up and grabbed it.  He began to squirt it around him like some sort of air freshener.  Then he thought better of this action and turned the spray bottle towards his face, drawing it up near his lips.  He opened his mouth and began to spray orange juice onto his tongue.  Lying on his back gazing up at Tae, Jimin blinked the descending orange juice out of his eyes before staring at Tae like he was insane.

At this point the music had moved on without them for several moments, and it was clear to all that dance practice was over.  An utter failure.  Half of Jimin’s grapes had been popped.  Hobi’s fur had been drenched by both orange juice and banana milk.  Devastated by the loss of his favorite drink, Jungkook hung his head in defeat while Tae enjoyed his orange juice.  Namjoon’s eyes were still watering as they tried feverishly to remove the acid that was yet burning them.  Yoongi was sneaking out the back door.  Jin was cringing in the corner as he realized his folly.  Apparently, bringing drinks to dance practice was not a good idea.  The only thing unaffected by his bad decision was the music.  Boy with Luv played on without them.  

Perhaps next year they could dress as something safe, like a band of superheroes.  And dance to Anpanman.  One thing was for certain.  The members of BTS dressing like a rainbow fruit salad was a recipe for disaster!