Yoongi recalled her question. “It was rough for a long while. But after several years, Big Hit found me.”
She blinked as she stared at him. In typical fashion, Yoongi was leaving out many of the details. He was being incredibly humble. She knew many of those blanks, and they were all important. This man was a legend. He was amazing.
“How did you do it? How did you overcome it all?”
He simply shrugged and took a sip of his bitter coffee. He swallowed then responded, “I don’t know. Just one step at a time. One foot in front of the other. I kept my eye on my goal. I just kept fighting for myself, for what I wanted.”
Yes, she could have said the same thing about herself. But she had one burning question still. “So…are you happy now? Is success all you dreamed it would be?”
Yoongi glanced up at her. He had a succinct answer for her.
“No.”
She stared blankly at him. “No?”
“No. To both your questions.”
Yoongi wasn’t happy? Success hadn’t fulfilled him the way he had expected it to?
“So…it wasn’t worth the struggle?”
He looked thoughtful. “I wouldn’t say that. I would say that it hasn’t done for me what I had hoped it would do.”
“And what was that?”
“Fill the vacuum.”
“The vacuum?”
“Yes. The emptiness. You know? That thing that keeps you up in the middle of the night when all is right in your world? You have all you could ever eat. You have nice clothes to wear. You have a good roof over your head. You have kind friends and people who love you, some who even fight for you. And you’re doing the thing you know you were designed to do. But something is still missing. Only now, there’s an added fear.”
She wrinkled her brow. “What’s that?”
“I used to be afraid I wouldn’t make it. That I couldn’t fly high. But I did. I did make it. I am flying high. Now my fear concerns what happens next. What happens when I crash? It’s the only eventual outcome, right? I can’t soar high forever. What goes up must come down. So what happens to me when I come down? This has been an amazing ride. But what happens when it’s over? It’s terrifying to contemplate.”
My heart is burning and crying for him. Is it too much to contemplate hugging him? To not have answers just a pure support for him and his future. This smart and adorable man full of brimming potential facing the uncertainty and hollowness of reality.