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Chapter 4: The Past Informs the Future – December 24, 2020

She found him on the edge of the ballroom nursing a cup of cinnamon punch.  His eyes connected with hers as she strode back into the large room.  His countenance lightened as he saw her, his eyes crinkling at the corners.  The man was drop dead gorgeous.  Her heart sighed just looking at him.  

Yunseong approached him slowly.  She didn’t want him to know how eager she was to make his acquaintance.  She was unaware that her eyes kept giving her away.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” he murmured as she came alongside him.  

His eyes slid away from her to traverse the ballroom.

“What boyfriend?  I no longer have a boyfriend.”

His eyes snapped back to hers.  “Is that true, now?”  Then his face fell.  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Are you really?” she squinted suspiciously up at him.

His eyes caressed hers over the lip of his cup.  “No,” he murmured in a deep voice that gave her chills, “I’m really not disappointed at all.  In fact, I’m relieved.  I’m hoping that your coming to me now means that you’re as interested in me as I am in you.  Tell me: was I the reason you broke up?”  Those pretty eyes of his were searching hers intently.

She felt a moment of unease at his words, but she shoved it away.  And laughed instead.  “You must have a very high opinion of yourself!  Truly!  You think I broke up with my boyfriend because a stranger asked me to dance?”

“Not just any stranger,” he murmured seductively.  His eyes were still probing the depths of hers, drawing her towards him.

She fell silent for a moment as she remembered how she’d felt initially when he had threatened to kiss her.  He had seemed…dangerous.  But now she felt up for a bit of peril.  After all, what was more dangerous than giving your heart to a boy and having him stomp all over it?

She was now feeling a little rebellious.  And this handsome stranger’s words were heady.  She was ready for some fun.  She’d been hanging out for over a year with stick-in-the-mud Tae, who only ever wanted to play video games and walk his fluffy dog.  She bet this man would have many more adventurous ideas concerning how they could spend their time together.

“Indeed,” she uttered, as she gazed up at him.

“Shall we try another dance?” he muttered lazily.  “Presumably, this time we won’t be interrupted.”

A thin smile stretched her lips across her face.  He reached for her hand as he downed the remainder of his punch in one long gulp.

—

“Kookie, I don’t like him,” Yuni muttered from her position on the edge of the dance floor.

Jungkook followed her gaze.  “I don’t either.  And I warned Tae.  And what did he do?  He broke up with her, so she could fly straight into that guy’s trap!”  He glanced down at her and realized she was shaking.  “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” 

He reached out and put his arms around her.  He pulled her close and began to chafe her back with his hand.

“He reminds me of my ex-boyfriend.”

Jungkook could feel her dread in the tension stringing her entire body.  “Yikes.  That can’t be good,” he muttered.

“I’m afraid she’s going to do something stupid because Tae just broke her heart.”

“We’ll just have to stop her then.”

“What if we can’t?” she whispered into his shoulder.  “What if my sister does something to hurt herself?”

He sighed.  “We can’t make their choices for them.  I wish we could in this instance.  I don’t want to see either one of them hurt.  I don’t know exactly what’s going on with Tae.  Why he’s so bound up in a past that is long dead and buried.”

Echoes surrounded her suddenly.  And she wondered if Yun’s past, the one that had also been buried, was interfering somehow in her relationship with Tae.  

Yun had always been the loud one.  The outgoing one.  The peppy one.  The charming one.  The one who attracted everyone’s attention.  The one who buried her pain under a happy façade.  Unlike Yuni, who often spent too much time staring her agony in the face, Yun tended to run from hers.  Pretending that it had never existed and had no possibility whatsoever of informing her future.

Was she doing that now?  Had she been doing that all along?  Had she ever told Tae about their past pain?  About the agony of their loss?  Had she ever shared the deep things of her heart with him?  Or had their relationship only ever skimmed the surface?

Yuni had opened up to Kookie and shared all those little pains that had reverberated.  All the sorrow that had swamped her soul.  He had mourned with her.  And found little ways to comfort her.  Even now.

“He’s still hurting over Eunji, isn’t he?” Yuni asked as she glanced up at Kookie’s sweet face.  “It cannot be easy to spend your whole life loving someone, and dreaming of a future with that person, only to see your beloved and that future go to your brother.”  

She sighed deeply.  “I wish, I wish Yun had never met Tae.  Except…” her eyes clung to his, “that I would never have met you.  And you have made all the difference in my life, Kookie.”  

She choked on a sob suddenly and buried her face in his chest.  He was just that precious to her.  Kookie had completely revolutionized her life.  He had encouraged her to come to terms with the tragedies she’d experienced in the past.  He had helped her to let go of the pain and trauma that had crippled her for years.  He had wrapped her up in the unconditional love she needed.  He had reminded her that she was precious.  By simply surrounding her with himself.  And his sweetness.

“I love you, Kookie.”  She lifted her face and brushed her lips lightly across his own.

He smiled.  “So…when are you going to marry me?”

A light of surprise illuminated her countenance.  Her eyes fell to the gorgeous, rose-shaped ring on her finger.  The one whose center was a sparkling diamond.  

“Um.  When would you like me to?”

He bent his head and kissed her earlobe before whispering, “Today.”

She laughed.  “Well.  Not today.  But…” She scrunched up her face in the cutest way possible as she did some mental calculations.  “What if we married in July?  We’d have a month to prepare for the wedding after school gets out for the summer.  And we’d have a few weeks to enjoy each other before we return to school in the fall.”

His face lit up.  “Really?  Really, Yuni?  You’d marry me that soon?”

She nodded.  “Happily.”  Then she frowned.  “But…where would we live?”

“If you were okay with it, we could live with my parents.  I’ve already discussed the possibility with them.  Unless,” he was watching her face carefully, “you want us to live with yours.  I’d be okay with that too.”

Her heart melted as she gazed up at the sweetest boy on the planet.  “You understand what my heart needs so well.  How do you do that?”

“Mmm.  Just a special gift from above, I guess.”  He bent his head and captured her lips with his own.  But just for a second.  After all, they did have an audience.  “I love you, Yuni.  And I’m thrilled you’re going to be my wife.  Soon.  Just seven months!”

His arms were wrapped tightly about her, and her head was pillowed over his heart.  She listened to the steady beat of that faithful organ and rejoiced that she had found him.  Then she sent up a prayer for her sister to be wiser than she had been.

—

He pulled her into his arms as soon as they set foot onto the dance floor.

“Pretty lady, what’s your name?” he asked with a sweet smile pulling up the corners of his mouth.

“Oh,” she laughed, “it’s Yunseong.”

He grinned.  “We have something in common then.”

She quirked a dark eyebrow at him.  “What?”

“A name.  I’m Seonghan.”

Her lips quirked upward now.  “Almost like twins.”

“Why is that so amusing?” he asked a moment later as he noted the odd look on her face.

“Because I am a twin.  A triplet, actually.  But my sister and I are identical.”

His eyebrows flew upward to challenge the ceiling.  “Oh, really?  That’s cool.  Is the third one a guy or a girl?”

“Oh, that’s my fierce elder brother.  He was born first and outweighed us both.  Out-timed us by five minutes and seven, and outweighed us by half a pound.”

“What are their names?”

“Yunyeong and Yunseok.”

He nodded.  “Nice to meet you, Yunseong,” he murmured.  “Do you go by anything shorter?  Yun?  Seong?”

“Not Yun,” she rushed to correct him.  She didn’t need to be reminded of Tae right now.

“Of course not.  That’s what you all have in common.  I guess I could call you Seong.”

“Yunseong is fine,” she whispered.

“All right,” he smiled.

Then he twirled her around the room for a few moments without speaking.

“How old are you, Yunseong?”

“I’m twenty.”

He grinned.  

Good.  He wasn’t robbing anyone’s cradle.

“How about you?”

“I’m twenty-eight.”

She nodded.  Her first guess had been right.  “What’s your job?”

“I’m a model.”

Her eyebrows flew up to challenge her hairline.

“Mostly magazines,” he murmured.

His eyes were heavy on hers.  She felt like he was pulling her closer to him.  Then his eyes fell to brush her lips.  She felt herself blushing.

He was so handsome.  No wonder he was a model.  He had a bold brow over which several midnight locks were tumbling to encroach upon his left eyebrow.  Those eyebrows were nearly flat, but they were full, and lay suspended above two arresting eyes.  His left eye was also being infringed upon by his dark locks.  At one point, he reached up and ran his fingers through that hair, freeing his eye to fully see her.  That gorgeous hair fell in perfect waves now, tempting her fingers to seek out their softness.  In fact, for the rest of the night she’d have to resist the urge to slide her fingers through that raven fringe.

“If that hair bothers you again, let me know, and I’ll push it back for you,” she murmured flirtatiously, shocked at her own boldness.

His dark, flat, almond-shaped eyes widened a bit at her audacious words.  But then a lazy grin overtook that captivating face.  His amazing eyes were not as open to the world as Tae’s, but they carried a different air.  Something intriguing that beckoned her to come closer to him.  Something else that promised the most delicious kind of trouble.

His nose was beautiful.  Straight.  The end softened.  It was smaller than Tae’s.  Not as boldly chiseled.

Argh.  She ground her teeth.  She had to stop comparing him to Tae.  Who was no longer in the picture.

Seonghan’s face was shaped like a manly oval.  His jawline was stunning.  His chin squared off as the sides of his face sloped upwards at a forty-five degree angle before running into his cheeks which also bent in a square.  He had magnificently high cheekbones that tempted her to kiss them for some indefinable reason. 

She was inwardly fainting just drinking in his countenance.  She felt like she could happily stare at him all night.  She was unaware that he could read her like an open book.  He watched with amusement as her eyes devoured his face.  He bent his head towards her at one point and asked her a provoking question.

“Would you like me to take you somewhere more private so you can take your fill of me?”

Her stomach flipped upside down, and a gentle heat flooded her abdomen at his words.  But as her eyes met his, she couldn’t look away from the seductive gleam in his hooded gaze.  He was delighting in the blush that was stealing across her cheeks.  She was a complete innocent if he wasn’t mistaken.  

“Have you any idea how beautiful you are?” he murmured suddenly as his gaze slid along the planes of her face.

Her eyes widened as she stared at him.  Had Tae ever said such words to her?  She honestly could not remember if he ever had.  

But those words were not unwelcome.  They burrowed themselves deep inside of her and set their own fire to burn in her heart.  Seonghan found her desirable.  Why was that so important?

She shook her head.  She had no idea why it mattered so much, but it did.  She needed to hear those words and a multitude of other words that she’d never heard from Tae.  But she didn’t know how to respond.

However, Seonghan required no response.  He bent his head towards hers and whispered into her ear, “I’m having to resist the urge to whisk you away to some dark corner and make magnificent love to those luscious lips of yours.”

She gasped.  The heat that had flooded her core a few moments before was spiraling downward now.  No one had ever spoken such provocative words to her before.  Certainly not Tae.  They were doing strange things to her.  Melting her in a million different ways.  Making her want to give in to him.  

It was terrifying.

And exhilarating.

Her heart screamed caution.

But her head was so tired of being hurt.  And of always doing the right thing.  Which never seemed to avail much of anything good anyway.  Just more pain.  How many times had she been punished by life for walking the straight and narrow?

Just this once, perhaps, she could live on the wild side.  As she gazed up into his beautiful, obsidian orbs, she had to acknowledge that she could pass a very sweet season in this man’s presence.  The question was: when it came to an end, would she be willing to let him go?

For she had this disappointing feeling that he wouldn’t stick around for the long run.  Whatever she indulged in with him would be a fleeting fancy.  And nothing more.

“How long?” she whispered then as she gazed sadly up at him.

Perplexed, he furrowed that noble brow.  “What?”

“How long will you indulge your attraction to me?” she breathed mournfully. 

But he was well-prepared.  He bent his head, and his breath flowed over her skin again, teasing the area around her ear.  “For as long as you like.  I find you positively enchanting with your golden hair and green eyes.  I’ve no desire to be parted from them.”

More heat flowed outward from the pit of her stomach.  It seemed to spread in three hundred sixty different directions.  And it weakened her.  Both her legs and her heart.  

She stumbled then, but his arms were quick to gather her to his chest. 

His breath still teasing her ear, he queried, “Are you all right?”

She clung to him and nodded.

“Shall we find somewhere more private then?”

—

Her heart skipped a beat.

“The garden, perhaps?” she asked as she glanced around momentarily.

“A delightful and promising notion.  Let’s go,” he snagged her around her waist and drew her towards the doors.

But they did not escape unnoticed.  

“Kookie,” Yunyeong spoke with sudden alarm, “where is that strange man taking my sister?”

Yuni could feel fear spiraling through her.  Echoes were swamping her.  Secret rendezvous with her boyfriend of four years ago.  Moments in his car that she couldn’t get back.  The encroachment of his fingers upon her skin.  Skin she now wished she’d saved for only Jungkook to strum.  Hot kisses in her ex-boyfriend’s bedroom.  His lips burning a hole through her neck.  His fingertips teasing certain other volatile locations.  Tempting her to do more.  Much more than she really wanted to do.  Then, the grand finale burst upon her again in all its horror.

Jungkook was watching her emotions play out across the screen of her face.  She was recalling things she wished to leave buried forever.  He could tell that she was about to panic.  He slipped his arm around her and drew her gently up against him.  He bent his head and whispered in her ear.

“It’s all right, Yuni.  It’s okay.  No one will ever hurt you again.  You’re safe with me.”

She swung her head towards him, and her eyes careened into his.  She stifled a sob as the sweet smile in his eyes caressed her.

“I love you, Yuni.  The past is dead.  Leave all that junk in the grave.  Where it belongs.”

Despite her best efforts, the sob escaped.  She leaned forward then and did something she rarely did in public.  She kissed Jungkook full on his beautiful lips.  In the view of a whole ballroom filled with people.  Then, she grabbed his hand and hauled him towards a garden.  

But not for a secret assignation of their own.  Instead, they were tripping out the doors her sister had escaped from a few moments before to go rescue her silly twin from some dastardly fate.

—

Seonghan still had his arm wrapped securely around her waist.  He drew her closer.  She shivered.

“It’s much colder out here than I anticipated,” Yunseong murmured.

“Let me warm you up,” he whispered against her neck as he buried his face in its crook, both of his arms drawing her close to him. 

His hot breath was teasing her skin.  She giggled nervously.  

What was she doing?

He lifted his head and gazed down into her eyes.  She and Seonghan come to stand under a lantern that was hanging high above their heads.  Still, it illuminated him enough that she could clearly see the look in his eyes.  It both scared her and thrilled her.  

As his face descended towards hers, the possibility of their first kiss was thwarted by an insistent voice calling to her.

“Yun!  Are you out here?  Yun?”

Yunseong heard the panicked edge to her twin’s voice and sighed in frustration.  Yuni was being protective again.  Yunseong would have to plan more carefully if in the future she was going to evade her sister’s efforts to protect her.

Seonghan glanced down at her with an amused expression on his face.  “Your sister, I take it?”

She nodded.

“She’s right here,” he called even as his eyes continued to hold Yunseong’s.  Those beckoning eyes promised that they would pick up where they had left off at a later date.

Her lips curved in a smile.  “Yes, I’m right here,” she raised her own voice.

“Yun!  Thank God I found you!  Listen, Kookie stubbed his toe on the dance floor, and it’s really paining him.  He wants to head home now.  Ready to go?”  

Her eyes flicked from her sister’s face to the persistent beau who had released Yunseong before Yunyeong could come upon them.  They seemed to be innocently talking in this beautiful, frigid garden.  But Yunyeong was not fooled.  She knew what men like this one were made of.  From personal experience.  

She had learned too late to heed the warning bells that sounded in her spirit when she was in danger.  She had overridden those sirens on more than one occasion.  And lived to regret it many times over.  She wouldn’t brush them to the side any longer.  Especially not where Yun was concerned.

So Yunyeong turned her sweet face towards her twin as she gazed at her expectantly.

Yunseong turned towards her admirer.  “Seonghan, thank you for a marvelous dance.”

“Can I call you?” he murmured as his eyes continued to undo her.

She nodded.

“Your number?” he prompted.

“Oh!” She stared at him as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

“Yun!  We really must go!” Yunyeong exclaimed, terrified her sister would give this perfect stranger her phone number.

“Just a sec, Yuni.  Take Jungkook to the car.  I’ll meet you there in a moment,” Yunseong murmured, her eyes never leaving Seonghan’s speaking face.

Yunyeong didn’t like what it was saying.  “No.  We’ll wait for you.”

Then she listened in pained silence while her sister rattled off her private cell phone number.  A moment later, the two lovers had bid each other farewell, and Yunseong was following her sister and her beau out to his car.  But Yunseong couldn’t resist the urge to turn around and look back.  She smiled with satisfaction when her eyes struck his again across the garden.  Seonghan was watching her go.  A look of intense longing on his countenance.

—

He didn’t even wait a half hour to call her.  She had just fallen into her bed when her phone rang.  He called her.  Not a text.  A phone call.  She picked it up immediately.  It was the number on his business card.  On the ride home from the wedding reception, she had typed it into her phone along with his name.

“Hello, Seonghan,” she whispered.  

She didn’t want Yuni hearing her.  Thankfully, they didn’t share a room anymore.

“Hello, beautiful,” he spoke in a surprisingly gentle voice.  It didn’t sound smarmy when he said it.  She felt those words all the way to her toes.  “I just had to hear your voice again tonight.”

She smiled.  “I like your voice too.”

“Do you now?” he whispered in a deep rumble, and all the hairs on the nape of her neck stood at attention.

“Mmhmm.  Is that the only reason you called?  To hear my voice?”

“Nooo,” he breathed.  “Are you free tomorrow night?”

“Um,” she giggled.  “You mean…on Christmas?”

He sighed.  “Oh, yeah.  I forgot.”

She imagined him sliding his fingers through his hair as he heaved that deep breath.  She was jealous of those fingers.  Her own fingertips hadn’t yet gotten to feel that silky hair.

“How about the next day?”

“Mmm.  Let me see…” 

She was totally playing with him.  She didn’t want to seem too free.  Too eager.

“Got another hot date?” he asked.

“Well, you never know when my ex will call me again…” she teased him.  Then she gaped at herself.  At her audacious conversation.

“Hmm.  I’d better strike while the iron is hot then, eh?”

“Yeah,” she breathed.

“Need to prove myself, do I?  That I deserve your attention more than he does?  That I’ll make it worth your while to spend time with me?”

“Will you, now?  How?” she asked, intrigued.  

Her stomach was tied up in delicious knots right now.  She’d never had a guy flirt this outrageously with her.  Not even Jungkook.  Tae had never really flirted with her at all.

“How about I start by taking you to Fusion Five on Saturday night?”

She gasped.  “You have a reservation?”  

Fusion Five was the hottest restaurant in Busan.   Its food was legendary already.  People lined up around the block just hoping to snag a cancelled reservation.

“Let’s just say that I know someone in power.  I can get us in.”

“I would love to go with you!  I’ve wanted to try their food for months.  Especially their dessert.  My friend tried their strawberry cream cake and said it was worth the whole bill.”  Which hadn’t been cheap!

“I’ll make sure there’s lots of strawberry cream cake then.”  He smiled at the mental image he was dreaming up.  “Seven o’clock?”

“Yes.  I’ll be ready.”

“Where do you live, sweetheart?”

Sweetheart.

How had just one word melted her bones?

“Oh, yeah.  You need my address, don’t you?”  

She now giggled nervously.  He was giving her butterflies.  Which thought momentarily made her sad as she heard an old echo.

No, Tae.  You give me butterflies.  And you give my butterflies butterflies.  I love you, Tae.  

No!  She wouldn’t think of it!  It hurt too badly.  

She stuffed it down into the same compartment into which she’d packed away all her other messy emotions.  They would never see the light of day.  She threw herself headlong into flirting with this dashing man who seemed completely taken with her.  And firmly pushed all thoughts of Tae and her great love for him to the side.

—

Yunseong couldn’t wipe the grin from her face.  They’d spent two hours talking last night.  Much of it had been a teasing exchange.  She’d never known she could be so flirty.  Seonghan seemed to bring out the best in her.  Or the most outrageous anyway.  He was loads of fun.  She was looking so forward to tomorrow night.  She wished today weren’t Christmas.

Especially as her eye fell on the present she’d bought for Tae.  Her eomma had raised her children with the same traditions she’d grown up with.  So Christmas presents were a big deal in their house.  Yunseong had spent months picking out just the right one for Tae.  Now she picked it up between her fingers and her thumb and tossed it in a drawer.  As though contacting it – even slightly – might infect her.  

She slammed the drawer shut.  She would forget about that gift too.  The sooner she completely eradicated Tae from her memory bank, the better.  Her heart just couldn’t handle it.

—

Seonghan picked her up at three minutes till seven.  Thankfully, he hadn’t been too early.  But his punctuality proved he was into her.  She, on the other hand, had just barely been ready when his knock had sounded on her front door.

She had been looking so forward to this date that she’d spent two hours trying to decide what to wear.  She’d finally gone with a little, black dress that fell halfway to her knees and had no sleeves.  When Yuni had seen her, she’d had a fit.

“You are not wearing that skimpy, little thing on your date!  When did you even buy that?  I never saw you wear such a thing around Tae.”

She had once, though.  She blushed as she recalled what he’d said to her.  And the look in his eye.  But he’d kept his hands to himself.  

Ever the gentleman.  

She wondered if Seonghan would keep his hands to himself.  Why did that little, rebellious part of her that she had given rein to hope not?

She was shocking even herself.  It reminded her of the old days.  She was feeling that familiar high again.  And getting heady off it. 

So she’d turned to her sister with a dazzling smile.  “Tonight is not about Tae.  He has nothing whatsoever to do with my life anymore, so I would kindly thank you to never mention him again.”  

Then she’d spun on her heel and wandered out to the living room.  Her long, golden hair had swung to smack her bottom as she’d rushed forward to answer the door a moment later.  She’d been rewarded by the expression on Seonghan’s face as his eyes had taken in her appearance for the first time.  The look lurking in his gaze gave her shivers.  He let out a low whistle.

“Don’t you look amazing?”  He reached out to slip his hand into hers, then he lifted it and spun her around so he could view her from all sides.  He drew her close to him and bent to whisper in her ear, “You look positively ravishing, my dear.”

His free hand came up, and he skimmed her naked shoulder with his fingertips.  She had a strap on that shoulder, but somehow his fingers had managed to contact only the expanse of bare skin that covered her shoulder joint.

She gasped at such intimate contact with his soft skin.  He’d sent a line of charges to explode along her nerves.  There was that heat blossoming in the pit of her stomach again.  Had Tae ever made her feel like this?

If he had, she couldn’t recall it.  She shrugged and pushed the thought down into the reservoir.  Into the black hole of memories never meant to be unearthed again.

For some reason as she glanced up at Seonghan, she took notice of his beautiful mouth.  His bottom lip was full, his top, not quite as lush.  But tempting still.  For a moment as her eyes slid along that alluring curve, she imagined being kissed by those pretty lips.  Would they feel as soft as they looked?

She was shaken to the core as she realized she had thought similar thoughts the first time she’d seen Tae.  She’d kissed him a few moments later.  Silly girl that she’d been.  Kissing a guy she hadn’t even known for five minutes.  At least – even if Seonghan kissed her tonight – she’d talked to him for over two hours already.  She conveniently forgot her thwarted attempt at kissing him two nights ago in a garden.  Just a few minutes after she’d met him too.

His beautiful lips twisted upward in an amused smile as he watched her eyes tracing them.  

Did this girl want to be kissed already?  

He’d best drag it out then.  It would be more fun that way too.  

Anticipation was everything…