Blog

Two months.  She had two months left to live.  His eyes flooded with tears the second she told him the news.  Her parents couldn’t afford the surgery.  She couldn’t tell him that part.  Surely, he’d work himself dead to pay for it.  Her only other option was to make the most of life until time ran out for her.

“That…that’s it?  They’re not even going to try to save you?”

“There’s nothing they can do, Tae….”

Angry and sad tears mixed in a flow down his face. “All right…the next two months will be the best two months of your life, then.” He smiled sadly.

“It’s all right…what did we expect?  Brain tumors are hard to treat….”

“It’s not ok!” He sobbed suddenly. “How will I live without you?”

Nia frowned and pulled him into a hug. “I promise…we’ll meet in our next lives, ok?”

Tae continued to sob into her shoulder.  How could he wait that long?

——————–

“Nia, will you wait for me?”

Nia glanced over at Tae.  Stars were the only thing illuminating his lovely face tonight.

“Wait for you?”

“In your next life.  Promise that we won’t just meet again.  I want to love you again.”

Nia blinked tears from her eyes. “I’ll wait.  In our next lives…we’ll meet here.” She patted the grass below them. “Then we’ll remember.”

Tears clouded Tae’s eyes. “How will I know how to find you?  Surely, we’ll look different.  We’ll be completely different.”

“You remember the heart?”

Of course, he remembered the heart.  They’d met on a cold winter day, snowflakes littering the ground as the wind bit their noses.  She’d been poorly dressed for the weather.  He’d been closing the small gift shop he’d worked at when she’d come stumbling in the door.

“Ma’am-”

“Do you sell coats?  Please, I left mine at home.  It’s a half an hour walk to get there.”

Tae had taken one look at her bright red face and decided to have pity on her.  There was no way he was letting her walk half an hour in this weather.

He’d let her borrow his coat and driven her home.

“Can I have your phone number?” she’d asked shyly when they’d arrived at her house.

He hadn’t had a piece of paper lying around.  He glanced to the back seat of his car.  His boss allowed him to take all the unsellable knick-knacks they had.  He’d dug through a box.  The first object he’d found that he thought he could write on with his pen was a heart-shaped pincushion.  He’d scrawled his number on it and given it to her.  Five years later, she still had it.

“I remember.” He whispered.

“Good.  When you remember in your next life, come here every night at 11 pm until you find me.  I’ll ask you if you remember the heart.  When you tell me yes, I’ll know it’s you.”

Tae smiled bitterly.  They’d had such a life planned.  Now they had to wait at least a lifetime to live it.  Maybe more.

——————–

One week.  They had one week left.  And she was lying in a hospital bed.  He’d practically lived with her since the day she’d been diagnosed.  But he’d left for one night.  One night to have dinner with his family because his grandparents were in town.  Halfway through that dinner he’d gotten a phone call from her father that she’d passed out.  They were rushing her to the hospital.

Now Tae was sitting in that hospital, holding her hand as machines beeped eerily around him.  He wondered if he’d ever see her beautiful chocolate eyes or her shining smile again.  She was his whole world.  He still couldn’t bear the thought of losing her.

Tears streamed down his face. “Nia, please don’t leave yet.” His voice was a hoarse whisper. “I never had a chance to say goodbye…”

“Tae…” she weakly grasped his hand. “I love you.” She whispered.

He choked on a sob. “I love you too.”

“I’m fading, Tae.  Please say goodbye to me now.  Cry your last tears.  Don’t visit my grave after I die.  Go find someone else to love.  Forget me, please.” Her voice was still a small whisper.  But it was so desperate.

Tears still streaming down his face, Tae bent forward and pecked her forehead softly. “I could never forget you.”

——————–

Tae stared at the empty hospital bed, blinking back tears.  She’d fallen asleep in his arms last night in that bed.  Today he had woken up to an empty bed and the news that she was gone.  He choked on a sob.  Had it been too much to wish she would live a little longer?  She hadn’t even lasted the two months they had given her.

He stared at that empty bed, wishing he could go back to last year.  Wishing she were still here.  It hurt so badly.  He hadn’t even been awake for her last breath.  He’d been peacefully sleeping, unaware of the chaos going on.

He was sobbing now.  He already missed her.  He wished to drown his sorrows in soju.  But he knew she wouldn’t want that.  So, he went home to escape the last place he’d seen her alive.  He cried his heart out into his pillow.  Her parents had informed him they were not having a funeral.  They didn’t even have the money for that.  He’d never gotten to say a final goodbye to her.