Blog

Nia had much to think about on her drive to her parents’ house.  She wondered what was in the letter her mother had sent Taehyung.  Did she really want to know?  Maybe it was better that she didn’t as she went into this conversation.

She sat in her car across the street from their house for a good ten minutes before willing herself to get out.  Did she really need to have this conversation today?  She’d gone through enough pain this morning, and now she’d driven all the way over here.  What was she thinking?

Apparently, she wasn’t, because she was knocking on their front door a moment later.  The door swung open a minute later, and her mother’s eyes went wide.

“Nia?” she gasped. “Did something happen?”

Nia’s face fell momentarily, but she forced a smile. “I came to talk to you.”

“All right…come on in.”

“You have a new snow globe,” Nia commented as she saw the shelf in the hallway.

“Oh?  Yes, I got it in the mail in July.  Would you like some coffee?”

“Yes please.”

“You want cream, right?”

“Yeah.” Nia’s voice cracked.  She drew in a deep breath.  Part of her was surprised her mother remembered.

“You can go sit on the couch if you’d like.  I’ll be out in a minute.”

Nia entered the living room.  The first thing that caught her eye was the back door.  She couldn’t help but cross the room and open it.  she glanced down at the small deck that was outside.  She and Taehyung had spent many hours sitting there watching the sky.

“Why are you here, Nia?” her mother asked a few minutes later when they were both seated in the living room.

“I wanted to know…what you think is so wrong with Tae that you’d lie to both of us to keep us apart.”

Her mother was quiet for a few minutes, and Nia waited for her to speak.

“Nothing’s wrong with him,” she replied finally. “He was a good boy.  He treated you well.”

“Then why drive us apart?”

Mrs. Choi drew out a long breath. “I felt like we owed the Jungs your life.  They paid for your surgery, and I knew we could never repay them.  Hobi’s liked you since he was young.  I could always tell.  The only thing I could think of to repay him was…letting him have you.  That was foolish of me.  It did no good.  In fact, I think it broke all three of you instead.  I apologize, Nia.  I think I did you the most wrong.”

Nia looked down at her coffee cup. “What…was in the letter you sent to Tae a few months ago?”

“Mostly an apology.  Those snow globes I’ve been getting for years, they’re from him.  They made me realize what a huge mistake it was to tear you two apart.  He’s such a sweetheart.  And I remember now how happy he made you.  How are you two doing?”

Nia set her coffee cup down on the table. “Relationship-wise?  We’re great.  Other than that, not so great.”

“What’s wrong?”

The room was silent for a moments before Nia whispered, “have you ever lost a baby?”

Mrs. Choi stilled. “Yes.  Many times.  Before and after I had you.”

Nia looked up with wide eyes. “What?” she asked, horrified.

“I had a miscarriage before I had you.  And then a stillbirth a year later.  Then I had you, and I thought maybe I’d have a chance at a few kids.  It never happened.  We buried another baby when you were two, and I had two more miscarriages after that.”

“You- you had five?” Nia stuttered.  She’d gone pale.  Sua had given her hope, but that hope had now completely disappeared.

“Did you lose a baby, Nia?”

Nia nodded slowly. “This morning…I woke up bleeding.  I had a positive pregnancy test a week ago.”

“Did you go see your doctor?”

Nia shook her head.

“You should.  Would you like me to take you?”

Nia swallowed and shook her head. “Um…no thank you.” She sighed, and then changed the subject. “Tae and I are having our wedding ceremony next month…” she played with the band on her finger. “Would you like to come?  We’re doing it in Jeju on the thirteenth.”

“You want me there?” her mother asked softly.

“Yes.” She knew that even with how bumpy their relationship was now, one day she’d regret it if she didn’t invite them.

“I’ll be there, then.  You want to talk to your dad about it?”

Nia inhaled sharply before nodding. “Do you think he’d be willing to walk me down the aisle?”

“I’m sure he would, sweetheart.”