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“Dr. Yang?” Nia asked right before they reached the checkout desk. “This is a bit of short notice, but Tae and I are having our ceremony in a month.  I was wondering if you wanted to come.”

Dr. Yang’s face lit up. “I’d love to!”

Nia dug an invitation out of her purse and handed it to her. “Here.  I’d love if you brought Chaewon too.”

Dr. Yang laughed. “She wouldn’t let me come without her.”

——————–

Later that week, one of the nurses from Dr. Yang’s office called Nia to let her know that the test results had come back positive.  Nia wasn’t sure how to take it.  She now knew with some medical assistance, she could have kids.  But what if it didn’t work?  She couldn’t handle the thought of losing another baby.  Was the risk worth it?

——————–

Nia’s art had been left untouched in her studio since that awful October morning.  She’d abandoned it for cooking, because there was no way she’d be able to stomach being stuck in that studio with just her and her thoughts.  Taehyung walked through the door at six, just as she was finishing dinner.  He’d been making sure to come home early for the past few days even as he’d gone back to working in the office.

“Hi,” she greeted him with a faint smile as he entered the kitchen.

“Hi there.  What’s for dinner?”

“Just…grilled chicken,” she offered with a faint smile.

“Ah!  Sounds good!”

As the two of them sat down for dinner, Nia cleared her throat.

“Um, today…the doctor’s office called me.”

“Oh?”

“I…have a blood clotting disorder,” she muttered, staring down at her plate.

The dining room was silent for a few moments.  Taehyung set his hand on top of hers.

“Is there…any way we can have kids?” he asked.

She nodded. “It will just be more complicated than a normal pregnancy would be.” She swallowed thickly, finally looking up to meet his eyes. “I’m scared, Tae,” she admitted.

He nodded, and only then did she notice the sheen of tears covering his eyes.

“It’ll be ok,” he whispered. “We don’t have to try again for a while.  We can just wait.  We’ll try again when you think you’re ready.”

She looked down at their hands, watching as he brushed his thumb over the back of her hand. “Are you sure it’ll be ok, Tae?  What if I’m never ready to try again?  And then…and then I…we wait too long and I’m too old to have kids?”

“Nia…hey…look at me.”

She spared a glance up at him.

“I know it’s hard now, but we just lost the baby,” he gave her a weak smile. “It’s always hard to look towards the future when the pain is fresh.”

“Is that…how it felt when you lost me?”

He swallowed. “Yes.  It felt like the world had just caved in on me.”

She frowned, tears pricking at her eyes. “I’m so sorry I put you through that.”

He shook his head, giving her hand a squeeze. “It’s all right.  It got us to where we are today.”

“Where are we today?” She let go of his hand, reaching up to wipe the tears off her face.

Tae sighed. “Let’s not dwell on it.  Eat, you look exhausted.”

Nia took a tentative bite of her food.  When would this gaping hole in her heart ever close?