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Mahogany Eyes – Book 4: Someone Special

Chapter 18: Something Special – December 6

Yoongi arrived as promised at nine o’clock the next morning.  But Lex was concerned about him as soon as she opened her door.  She couldn’t help but notice that he looked wiped out.

“You didn’t sleep well, did you?”

Alarmed that he was that transparent, he sought to cover himself.  “I’m fine.”

“Yoongi?  What’s going on?”  A tremor of unease slid along her consciousness.  “Are you having second thoughts?”

“What?”  He glanced sharply at her.

“About me moving in with you.  Are you regretting being so generous?  If you are, we can call the whole thing off.  I’ll start looking for another apartment.”

“No!” he practically hollered as a new kind of alarm began to sound in his heart.  He took a deep breath as he noticed that he’d startled her with his vociferous response.  “I want you to move in with me.  I was just so excited last night that I couldn’t sleep,” he finally admitted.

“Excited?”  A skinny furrow developed between her eyebrows.  “About me moving in?”

He nodded his head, suddenly unwilling to risk any misunderstanding cropping up between them again.  He didn’t want to lose this opportunity.  Putting her fears to rest was more important than protecting his own interests.

Her expression melted.  “Truly, Yoongi?  You’re truly excited about me moving in with you?”

His head bobbed up and down.

She couldn’t contain herself one minute longer.  She threw herself against his chest as her arms enveloped his neck.  She hugged him tightly.  “Thank you,” she breathed.  “I don’t know what would have happened to me if you hadn’t appeared like some knight in shining armor on Friday night.  I might have ended up out on the street.” 

He felt her shudder, and he lifted his arms to draw her even closer to him.  He slid them around her back and allowed himself to relax as he held her.  He bent to bury his face in the crook of her neck.  He drew a deep breath and was gently assaulted by a very pleasant scent.

It wasn’t perfume.  It wasn’t obnoxious or overwhelming like Minyeon’s body spray had been.  This fragrance was subtle.  Like soap.  He sniffed in an attempt to ascertain its key notes.  But they eluded him still.  So he inhaled again, and the pleasing aroma engulfed him once more.  But so fragilely that he still couldn’t discern the scent.  Briefly, he wondered whether he’d be able to figure it out if he tasted her skin.  He immediately chastised himself for such a thought.  And drew away from her. 

“What soap do you use?” he asked, simply to distract himself from his wayward thoughts.

“Lily of the valley,” she murmured.

Ah.  No wonder he hadn’t been able to ascertain the origin of that fragrance.  He wasn’t really familiar with that flower. 

“Whatever it is, it smells wonderful,” he murmured.  Then he watched in fascination as she blushed once again.  He grinned.  A man could get used to that wonderful flush.  It was a nice complement to her flaming hair.

He glanced around her nearly empty apartment.  “Are you ready for me to start loading these boxes?”

She nodded.  “I’ll help you.”

He frowned.  “No.  Lex, I don’t want you to endanger your baby.”

Her face melted into a grateful smile.  “Yoongi, you are so sweet.  But, really, I can handle most of these boxes.  They’re not that heavy.  I promise I won’t pick up the heaviest ones.  They’re on the bottom of those stacks there.”  She pointed towards the offending cubes.

“I’ll take those first then,” he muttered as he crossed the room to shift the top boxes to the floor before he rescued the bottom box from the stack.  “This one is quite heavy.  What on earth is in it?”

She grinned.  “Books.”

“Books?”

She shrugged.  “I love to read.”

“Ah, yes!  What a capital idea!”

Her delightful trill filled the air around him again.  “Yoongi, you are positively wonderful!” she exclaimed as she bent to retrieve a lighter box before following him out to the moving truck. 

They spent the next half hour moving boxes into the truck.  Finally, all that was left was her bed.  She gazed at it.  “Just one more item.  And we’re done.”

He stared at it.  “No.”

“No?”

“I don’t want you trying to move that mattress.  It must be pretty heavy.”

She shook her head.  “It’s not bad.  Mostly, all we need to do is scoot it out to the truck.”

“No.  Surely, I can find a guy to help me move it downstairs.  Give me a couple minutes.”  He disappeared out the door.

Truthfully, she was getting really tired.  She wasn’t the helpless sort, but pregnancy was taking it out of her.  She spent most of her hours exhausted these days.  She was so thankful that winter break would begin on Friday.  She was looking forward to sleeping in for the next month. 

She was also grateful when Yoongi returned with a young man five minutes later.  He helped her roommate move her bed down to the truck while she wished a fond farewell to the apartment that had housed her for nearly six months.  Oddly enough, she didn’t feel one iota of nostalgia concerning this place.  All her bad memories of Frederick and her atrocious decisions were tied up in this place.  And in his apartment. 

She was ready to leave them behind.  She wanted to forget him.  Which, of course, given the circumstances, would be impossible.  But she realized now that he had never loved her.  He had belittled her.  And ignored her.  He had spent months manipulating her.  First, with his words.  And, finally, with brute force.  Her finger still hurt where he had shoved the ring back onto it.

She wondered if she would have had the courage to leave him if Yoongi hadn’t been present that night.  She rather doubted it.  She probably would have caved in to the man’s demands.

Now she was so thankful that she had never told Frederick about the baby.  He couldn’t use their child to manipulate her further.

She shuddered as she remembered his chilly voice.  His cold demeanor.  His frigid touch in her bed.  She realized now that he had always cared little for her needs.  How had she been so blind to his indifference?

Perhaps it had taken the arrival of a real man to awaken her to the truth.  To show her what love and respect really looked like.  Was it truly possible that Yoongi already loved her?

She wasn’t sure.  But the way he treated her sure felt like love.  It definitely revolved around respect.  And it was infinitely better than even one day she’d ever spent with Frederick.

Her new roommate was…one of a kind.  Something special.  A guy to hang onto.  For life.

If only…she could.

Chapter 19: Stolen – December 6

Soon, Yoongi was helping her to get settled into his apartment.  He found another guy to help him move her bed up to her new room.  And together, Alexis and Yoongi carried all her boxes up to her new pad.  Even before noon, she was knee deep in stuff as she began to organize her new space.

He wandered into her room after returning the moving truck to its owner.  “How’s it going?” he queried.

She glanced up at him.  And he frowned in concern.  “Lex?  Are you all right?  You look…tired.”

“So do you,” she laughed.  She sat back on her haunches.  “Honestly?  I’m exhausted.”

“Then, stop.  You don’t have to do that right now.  Take a nap.”

She nodded as she yawned.  “That’s not a bad idea.  I feel like my head is spinning.”

He wandered across the room and reached down to give her a hand up off the floor.  She smiled sleepily at him as she stood up.  But then, she lost her balance and pitched forward.  Yoongi caught her and dragged her unceremoniously up against him. 

Now her heart was thudding in her chest.  To be this close to him was torture.  And heaven.  That delightful scent was filling her senses again.  Sage wrapped in bergamot and spread across cedarwood.  She leaned into him and inhaled deeply as the peace that fragrance carried embraced her.  She rested her forehead against his chest. 

His arms tightened around her.  “Are you all right?” he murmured into her hair, his warm breath sliding along her scalp.

She nodded her head, but she remained silent.  She couldn’t speak.  She was overwhelmed by the emotions suddenly flooding her soul.  She wanted this man.  It was absurd.  But it was also the truth.  Yoongi made her long for things she’d never believed in before.

“Just stay here with me for a moment.  Catch your breath,” he continued to let his own sweet breath overwhelm the top of her head.

He was reluctant to release her.  He ran his nose over the top of her luxurious tresses, disturbing her wonderful scent once more.

She went perfectly still and reveled in the warmth of his embrace.  They stood there, in her new room, clinging to each other for several long minutes.  It wasn’t until he felt her whole body relaxing that he began to wonder if she could sleep standing up. 

Finally, he muttered, “Lex?  You should lie down on your bed.”

She nodded against his chest.  “I know,” she breathed.  But she still didn’t make a move towards her bed.

He waited a few quiet moments.  Then, convinced that she was unwilling – or unable – to move, he bent and swept her up into his arms. 

“Yoongi!” she squealed, suddenly taken aback by his bold maneuver.

“Hush.  I’m taking you to bed,” he murmured roughly, those words sliding along her nerve endings to give her entire body a steady buzz.

She knew he didn’t mean it the way it sounded.  But it did sound like he intended to join her in that bed.  Her imagination went wild for a moment before she shut it down.  It wouldn’t do either of them any good for her to indulge in such thoughts.  Especially if she was going to share an apartment with him for the foreseeable future. 

Still, she sighed with regret when he deposited her on her bed.  Alone. 

He straightened and stared down at her.  “Sleep.  That’s a command.  Now.”  Then his voice softened.  “Please, Lex.  Take care of yourself first.”

She offered him a flimsy smile.  Mostly because she felt like crying.  Her regrets were overwhelming her now.  And she was wondering how she could possibly be so weak as to be contemplating inviting another guy into her bed with her.  Even after the way the last one had worked out.

He saw the tears forming in her eyes.  “Lex,” his low rumble sounded again.  Soothingly.  “You’re exhausted.  Whatever is bothering you will be better when you wake up rested.  Close your eyes and go to sleep.”  He bent over her and pulled the blanket up around her shoulders.  Then he planted a kiss on her forehead.

And she knew her heart was truly in danger then.  For in that moment, she acknowledged that no one – not a man, not a woman – had ever treated her as tenderly as he just had.  Her eyes fluttered shut as his lips rested against her skin.  And several tears overwhelmed her eyelids to spill down her rosy cheeks.  She was blushing again.  This time because Yoongi had just stolen her heart.  And she knew there was no getting it back again.

Chapter 20: The Only Thing – December 6

Yoongi remained standing next to her bed for several minutes.  She was so exhausted that she fell asleep almost immediately.  But he was riveted to the spot by those tears.  Two streams had flowed down her cheeks.  Cheeks that were blazing with color again.

Why?

Why was Alexis blushing?  Because he’d kissed her forehead? 

The impulse had overwhelmed him, and he’d discovered that he had no desire to resist it.  So he had simply given in to it.  Perhaps that should scare him.  Because he didn’t want to hurt her. 

This girl had already been hurt enough.  More than enough.  The actions of a careless jerk had left her devastated and altered the trajectory of the remainder of her life.  That truth was breaking Yoongi’s heart.  Even more than his own feelings were scaring him.

Because he was beginning to desire her.  Not just the girl.  But her future too.  He was starting to seriously contemplate what his life would look like if she never left it.  And the idea of helping her to raise her child wasn’t so terrifying anymore. 

Really, what was his life but work anyway?  He had no social life.  What exactly would he have to give up to make room in his heart and home for a beautiful woman and her tiny baby?

His solitude.  It was something he had prized for a long time.  But of late he had begun to grow weary of it.  As loneliness continued to creep in. 

He’d begun to take note of his peers in the orchestra.  He’d started to notice their spouses.  Their children.  Their families.  Their happiness.  No, not always happiness.  But contentment. 

The security found in not carrying burdens alone.  In knowing one had someone to come home to.  Yoongi hadn’t had anyone to come home to in such a long time.  And that truth had begun to eat away at his soul.  He longed to be embraced.  To hold a girl in his arms and kiss her soft lips and bury his face in her hair.

He’d been swamped by that desire as he’d done two of those three things to Alexis a few minutes ago.  And he’d had to unleash an iron control on his emotions not to give in to the third.  He sighed as his ravenous eyes devoured her lovely countenance.  She was even more beautiful when she slept.  But he had already known that, now hadn’t he?

––

He finally dragged himself away from the side of her bed a few minutes later.  Her image was still branded on the inside of his soul, though.  He’d stood staring down at her for so long that now every time he closed his eyes, he could still clearly see her lovely face.  Even when his eyes opened, her image was imprinted on his mind’s eye.  It overlaid everything else in the scope of his vision.

He wandered into his kitchen as he decided to prepare lunch for them both.  Alexis would probably be quite hungry when she finally awoke.  But after a few minutes of slicing vegetables, Yoongi finally acknowledged that he too was exhausted.  He stowed the freshly cut veggies in his fridge before heading to his bed.  They could order carryout later.  He too needed his beauty rest.

He chuckled as he crawled between his sheets.  Beauty rest.  Alexis sure didn’t need it.  She was beautiful enough as it was.  Exhausted.  Refreshed.  It didn’t matter.  The girl’s sweet spirit glowed in the midst of every circumstance.  And trial.

As his eyes drifted shut, he wondered if today was testing her limits too.  Such a question was dangerous.  For if he acknowledged that she, too, might be attracted to him, he might be even more tempted to act on his impulses.  But, surely, she was still recovering from the devastation Frederick must have caused to her heart.  There couldn’t possibly be room in there for Yoongi.  Not yet anyway.

Even if he decided to make a move in her direction, he must proceed very slowly.  For her sake. 

He didn’t want to hurt a girl who had already – quite clearly – been wrecked by life.  Yoongi rather suspected that Frederick wasn’t the first man to mistreat the young woman.  Yoongi winced as he wondered how many other people had taken advantage of her sweet nature before Frederick had appeared in her life.

One thing was for sure….

Yoongi was determined not to end up on that list.  He would give up all his desires if it meant keeping her heart safe.  The only thing that mattered now was Alexis.  And seeing her whole and happy.

Chapter 21: Home

A couple of hours later, Alexis awoke to a strange room.  Again. But this time, the bed was familiar.  Somehow, she preferred Yoongi’s bed.

She shook herself.  She had to stop thinking thoughts like that one.

But it was true.  There had been something comforting about his bed.  The mattress had definitely been more comfortable.  But it wasn’t just that….

Ah!  It was the scent.  Sage.  Bergamot.  Cedarwood.  Yoongi’s bed smelled like Yoongi.  And Yoongi’s scent was pure comfort.  Reminding her of some of the best times of her life.  Moments she wished she could embrace again.

Except…

Had she not been pregnant and terrified of the future because of it, she might have acknowledged that the best memories of her life had been made in the past thirty-six hours.

Yoongi, stepping in between her and Frederick when he had begun to get violent with her.  The beauty of that moment still overwhelmed her when she gave herself to it.  That a stranger would take up her cause and seek to protect her from the very man who should have loved her.  She had never imagined anyone would come to her defense like Yoongi had.

Additional recent memories bubbled up.

Yoongi, patting her hand as he detected her distress after she admitted to him that she was pregnant.  Yoongi, offering her and her baby a safe haven.  Yoongi, hand-feeding her ramen with her own chopsticks.  Yoongi, bowing to her and gesturing for her to walk through the door before him, like she was some kind of queen. 

Yoongi, walking her back to his apartment.  Yoongi, wrapping her in his toasty coat when she got chilled and lending her the comfort of sage and cedarwood.  Yoongi, tucking her under a blanket and brewing her some tea to warm her frigid self.  Yoongi, carrying her slumbering form to his wonderful bed so he could be the one to sleep on the couch.  Yoongi, writing her a note so she wouldn’t be freaked out when she awoke in a stranger’s bed.

Yoongi, getting her into his concert for free. Yoongi, his expression full of admiration as he gazed at her dressed up for an evening at the symphony.  Yoongi, his voice full of wonder as he stole her breath when he murmured, “You look ravishing.”  Yoongi, his eyes full of concern as they swept over her feet.  Yoongi, paying for a taxi so she wouldn’t have to walk a few blocks in her painful heels.  

Yoongi, lugging around her heavy bag of books.  Yoongi, throwing himself between her and a speeding car.  Yoongi, taking her out for a delicious dinner after sharing his orchestra practice with her.  Yoongi, brushing his lips across the back of her hand to unleash a bevy of butterflies in the bottom of her belly.  Yoongi, calling his desire to move her in with him the best decision of his life.  Yoongi, renting her a moving truck when she didn’t even think of doing so for herself.  Yoongi, refusing to retaliate when she pinched him, instead declaring, “Lex, I could never hurt you!”

Yoongi, attempting to shield her from another man who might be interested in simply using her.  Yoongi, so excited that she was moving in with him that he couldn’t sleep last night.  Yoongi, frequently flashing those magnificent, mahogany eyes at her.  Yoongi, constantly smiling at her with that endearing, gummy grin of his, his humor infectious.  Yoongi, holding her hand and tugging her close to him.  

Yoongi, insisting on finding a man to help him move her bed, so she wouldn’t injure herself or her baby.  Yoongi, cradling her in his comforting arms as she buried her face in his chest.  Yoongi, acknowledging that – as much as she wanted his embrace – what she really needed was sleep.   Yoongi, sweeping her up in those same strong arms and carrying her to her own bed before tucking her in.  Yoongi, bending over her to kiss her forehead.  Yoongi, his lips lingering on that silent slope as her eyes fluttered shut and she succumbed to the fatigue that had been haunting her for a couple of weeks now.

Every single excellent memory revolved around one person.  

Yoongi.

No wonder she was in love with him.  

She shook her head again and buried her face in her pillow.  Then she groaned.  She had to stop thinking like this!  It wasn’t going to do her any good.

She had to get her mind off of how wonderful this sweet man was and onto her baby and their future together.  She needed to begin to make plans.  She had to set aside a lot of money.  To cover her outstanding health expenses and the birth of her baby.  Not to mention diapers, and clothes, and all the things her child was going to need.  She’d gotten pregnant by a rich man, but she would be footing the bill for their child alone now.

She sat up abruptly and glanced around her cluttered room.  Box upon box lined one wall.  How had she accumulated so much stuff in six months?  She acknowledged that much of it was supplies she needed for her classroom and students.  Speaking of which, she had to get organized tonight!  

She still had lesson plans to finish for this week.  It hadn’t been easy to balance work and packing this past week.  Especially considering how exhausted she’d been.  Several nights she’d fallen asleep somewhere other than her bed.  One night, over a box she’d been packing.  

She sighed with relief.  At least, she was home now.  

Home.  

She liked the sound of that.  The question was…how long would this be her home?

Right now, it felt like Yoongi would always be her home.  Because home wasn’t a place.  Home was a person.  And she had found hers.

Yoongi.

Chapter 22: Beautiful Enough – December 6

Three hours after Alexis fell asleep, Yoongi began to be concerned about her.  He’d expected her to nap.  But not all day.  She’d already missed the lunch he’d made for her.  He put her plate along with a glass of water on a tray and headed for her room.  He knocked lightly before pushing the door open the remainder of the way.  He disturbed her on the floor, her head in a pile of paperwork.  Her pencil scribbling furiously across a sheet of lined paper.

She glanced up at him as her door swung wide.

“Are you up for some lunch?” he queried, raising the tray a couple of inches to emphasize the presence of food.

Her eyes widened in delight.  “Yes!  I’m famished.”  She glanced around for a place for him to set the tray.

“Can you take a break?  I haven’t eaten yet.  We could eat at my kitchen table.”

Her gaze collided with his.  And she felt something buzzing between them. 

Was it just her imagination?  Or could Yoongi feel it too?

She should pull back.  But she couldn’t resist the sweet appeal in his eyes.  So she sighed, set down the pencil in her hand, and nodded.  Then she rose to her feet and followed him out to the kitchen.

He set her plate and glass across from his before pulling her chair out for her.

“Yoongi,” she whispered in happy exasperation, “you’re not always going to be this polite, are you?”

His eyes rose to meet hers in surprise.  “What?”

“Doing the gentlemanly thing.  Pulling out my chair for me.  Opening doors.  You’re going to wear yourself out.  We live together now.”

A subtle smile teased the corners of his lips.  “I plan to treat you like a queen every chance I get.”

She froze.  Her heart coming to a standstill in her chest.  His mahogany eyes were locked on hers.  Something tender radiating from them.  And making her melt.  Again.

Could she survive being melted repeatedly?  Or would the puddle remain one of these days?  Making it impossible for her to function solidly ever again?

Finally, Yoongi broke the silence.  “Are you going to sit down?”

“Oh!”  

His hand was still on the back of her chair.  He was clearly waiting for her to stop acting like a smitten schoolgirl and take her seat.  So she did so.  And he helped to scoot her chair up to the table before claiming his own seat across from hers.

“Thank you,” she murmured in embarrassment.  She wasn’t used to anyone treating her so kindly.

Yoongi ignored her gratitude and picked up his chopsticks.  That’s when Alexis glanced down at her plate for the first time and realized what he’d made.  A wide smile spread across her face with lightning speed.

“Bibimbap?  Kimchi?”  She looked up at him.  “Yoongi, did you make my favorites on purpose?”

Tipping up in pleasure, the corners of his mouth were flirting with her again.  “I wanted to do something special to welcome you to our apartment.”

Our apartment.

There it was again.  A collective pronoun.  Us.  Our.  Implying that she and Yoongi were a team.

She sighed.  She could very quickly get used to such verbiage.

She tried to ignore the tug at her heart.  She concentrated on smiling at him and thanking him prettily.  “You’re too good to me, Yoongi.”

“It’s time someone was,” he muttered under his breath.

“What?” Two deep ruts popped up between her eyebrows.

He sighed before meeting her gaze.  “I get the feeling you haven’t been treated well.  Not just by Frederick.  But…maybe not by anyone.”

She decided to deflect his comment.  “Have you been treated well?”

He shrugged.  “If we’re comparing, then…yes.  I’ve been given several amazing breaks.  How else would I be the pianist for the Seoul Philharmonic?”

“Yoongi,” she breathed in astonishment, “do you really have no idea how amazing you are on the piano?”

Another nonchalant gesture followed.  “Many people are amazing on the piano.”

She eyed him.  “Besides, you’re not the only one who’s been given an amazing break or two.”  A smile was dancing in her eyes now.  “There’s this guy who asked me – a complete stranger – to move into his apartment.  That’s pretty unheard of.  Rarer even than your talent, I think.”

Those mahogany eyes collided with hers again.  But they were full of a sobriety that robbed her of breath.  “Lex.”  He inhaled sharply.  Then he decided to tackle her whole name.  “Alexis.  You are worth it.  All of it.  Anything any guy would do to take care of you and make sure you’re safe and happy.”

Her brow crumpled as she responded with a shake of her head.  “You can’t know that!  You don’t even know me, Yoongi.  We met two days ago!”

“I know you.  I know you’re kind enough to share your ramen with a stranger.  Brave enough to return the engagement ring of a jerk even when you’re carrying his child and stranded alone in a foreign country.  You’re brilliant enough to move to a strange land and teach a classroom full of kids how to speak a language that isn’t native to them.  You’re independent enough to carry your own bag.  Adventurous enough to eat too much kimchi at one go,” his lips quirked upward before his entire countenance slid back into seriousness. His mahogany eyes were glowing as he uttered his last, “Beautiful enough to steal my breath.” 

He stopped.  He hadn’t meant to say that last.  It had simply slipped out.  Now it was his face which was being suffused with bright color. 

Only, it seemed he’d lent some of it to her too.  He watched in embarrassed delight as her cheeks blushed a deep rose which seemed to catch her hair on fire.  Then her eyes fell to hide from him for the remainder of their meal.  Which they both ate in silence.  Afterward, Alexis fled to her room and remained hidden there for the rest of the afternoon.  She buried herself in schoolwork to avoid facing the adorable man in the other room.

Chapter 23: The Purposeful Misunderstanding – December 7 – 12

But she couldn’t hide forever; his knock sounded on her door around seven that evening.  “Lex?  Do you want some dinner?”

“Uh, I have a lot of work to finish before tomorrow morning.  I really can’t stop working.”

“Can I come in for a moment?” his soft voice sounded again.

She sighed as her heart began to pound.  “All right.”

The door slid slowly open, and she came face to face with the man of her dreams.

“I’m sorry, Lex.”

Frowning, she responded, “For what?”

“For making you feel uncomfortable earlier.  I didn’t mean to say anything that would embarrass you.”

“You didn’t!” she rushed to reassure him, but then she stopped short of continuing.

His eyes studied her face as her own gaze hid from his once more.  “I think I did.  I’ve already placed you in an awkward position by inviting you to live with a guy you barely know.  And then, I said something that maybe made you feel like I was…”  His voice trailed off.

She shook her head.  “I know you weren’t.  I just…”

“Need me to leave you alone.”

Her heart ached.  That was the last thing she wanted.  But…she was terrified of involving herself with another man who would disappoint her. 

What if…what if her instincts were just as bad this time around as they had been with Frederick?  Worse yet, what if Yoongi wasn’t really that interested in her?  What if she became involved with him, but when her baby arrived, he decided he couldn’t handle it, and he asked her to leave?  Or found a different girlfriend?

She wouldn’t be able to handle the heartbreak.  It was better to play it safe now than to be crushed later. 

So she didn’t say anything to stop him.

“I’ll leave a plate outside your door,” he murmured sadly before exiting her room and shutting that door behind him.  Tightly.

Alexis burst into tears.  Today was really too much for her to handle.

––

She cried herself to sleep that night.  After eating the magnificent meal that Yoongi had made for her.  She just knew that he had cooked it especially for her.  There was even cucumber kimchi on the side.  Her favorite.  He had remembered.

Which, of course, only made her fall more deeply in love with him. 

But that could not be, so for the next few days, she buried herself in work.  Shutting herself away in her room when she was at home. 

For his part, Yoongi spent hours each day at his piano, practicing for his upcoming Christmas concerts.  But his heart wasn’t really in it.  He was wondering if Lex would even want to come hear him play again.  Probably not.  She was clearly avoiding him now.  Living with her was proving to be terribly awkward.  And not a little heartbreaking.

––

She arrived home to an empty apartment on Friday night.  She’d had to stay longer than anticipated at the school to finish up some things before the holiday started.  It was a quarter past six by the time she walked through the door.  Only to find an empty apartment.

She crossed the threshold and slammed the door shut.  At first, she was perplexed to discover Yoongi was not home.  But as she entered the kitchen, her eyes found his note on the countertop.

“I completely understand if you’re too overwhelmed to come this evening.  I will most likely be quite late.  Please don’t wait up.”

His concert!  Tonight was another concert at Lotte Hall.  She glanced at her phone.  She would just make it in time if she left right now. 

Her heart sank.  She had planned to go with him.  He had promised to stop back at their apartment at five o’clock to pick her up.  But that discussion had happened on Saturday evening.  Days ago.  Before their falling out.

Now Yoongi didn’t even expect her to come.  In fact, his note almost made it sound like he didn’t want her there.  She felt tears forming in the center of her heart.  They were pushing their way out of her chest.  That must be the explanation for the horrid pressure that was overtaking her right now. 

She headed for her room and set her bag on the floor before stripping off her clothes and stepping into the shower.  Where she could have a good cry before she collapsed in her bed. 

Yoongi didn’t want her to come see him perform.  She had been looking so forward to her second concert of his.  But it was quite clear that she had hurt him beyond repair.  He was pulling away from her. 

Which was for the best.  But that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt like crazy.