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Mahogany Eyes – Book 5: The Generous Gift-giver

Chapter 24: In Sickness – December 12

Yoongi dragged himself through his apartment doorway at midnight.  He was exhausted.  He’d stayed out with some of the other members of the orchestra tonight.  On purpose.  Because he was avoiding Lex.

She hadn’t shown up.  

He had held out hope until the last second.  But those two lonely seats had remained empty for the duration of the entire evening. 

Yoongi hadn’t played his best.  It had seemed pointless to do so.  And he’d been so disheartened that it was all he could do to pull himself together to play at all. 

It was terrifying really.  This hold that she had on him.  Already.  After only a week of acquaintanceship. 

He had to get a hold of himself.  He couldn’t let this go on.  But he also couldn’t ask her to leave.  She needed him.  She needed a place to stay.  And someone she could count on.

So he was going to have to bite the bullet and do what was best for her at the expense of his own heart.  Still, he hadn’t had the courage to face her tonight.  So he had waited until he was certain she’d have fallen asleep before he’d returned home. 

Now he strode across the living room and tossed his keys into the little bowl on the island counter before he headed for his room.  He turned on the overhead light and was surprised to find the bathroom door shut.  But a moment later, he heard a sound emanating from behind that door.  A sound that alarmed him.

He ran across his room and spoke through that door.  “Lex!  Are you okay?”

He heard a deep groan and then the sound of someone puking.  Again.  Finally, a “No” made its way to him.  He grasped the doorknob and shook it. 

“Lex!  Can I come in?”

Silence.

He tried again.  “The door is locked.”

A moan escaped her mouth again as she leaned her head against the toilet seat.  She felt truly awful.  She’d woken up feeling horrible half an hour ago.  She’d fled for the bathroom and been kneeling in front of this toilet ever since.  How many times could one girl throw up in an hour?

She was becoming exhausted.  She really wanted to lie down.  But the floor was frigid.  She’d put her face down on it and stretched her body out a few minutes ago.  But within several seconds, she’d been shaking like a leaf.  Overcome by the strain her body was enduring coupled with the chill air creeping along the cold surface of the bathroom tile.

In frustration, Yoongi leaned his head against the door.  Then he realized that he could reach her through her side of the apartment.  He turned around and headed for her bedroom.  Thankfully, he found her door unlocked.  He yanked it open and strode towards the bathroom.  He breathed a sigh of relief as he realized her bathroom door was open.  He was moving through it a moment later.  

He found her bent over the toilet.  Her forehead resting on its seat.  As he entered the room, her entire body convulsed again, and whatever she’d eaten for dinner came flying out of her mouth.  His face crumpled in concern for her. 

Here he’d spent the entire night feeling sorry for himself.  Thinking she’d missed his concert because she didn’t care to hear him play anymore.  And while he’d been drowning his sorrows in soju at a bar with his peers, the girl he adored had been curled over a toilet as she was violently sick.  And terribly alone.  If only he had come home sooner, he could have taken care of her.

“Lex!  How long have you been sick?”

Trembling violently, she turned bleary eyes up towards him.  “Yoongi?” she asked weakly.  “I don’t know.  An hour?  A half hour?  Time seems to be crawling.  I’ve thrown up numerous times.  I’ve lost count.”

Suddenly, her whole body sagged, and she began to fall backwards.  With astounding grace and awe-inspiring speed, he lurched forward and caught her shoulders before her head could hit the floor.  He lowered her gently down onto the cold surface. 

“Lex, this is a horrible place to lie down.”

“I know,” she breathed nearly silently, “but I’m so tired, I can’t sit up anymore.”

“I’m going to go to the kitchen and find a big bowl.  Maybe two.  Then I’m taking you to your bed.  At least, you can lie down in bed and use the bowl if you get sick again.”

She was too out of it to respond.  He watched her eyes flutter shut as he stood up.  He hurried to the kitchen for supplies.  He returned to her bedroom a few moments later with several towels and two big bowls.  He spread most of the towels out across her bed.  Just in case she didn’t make it to one of the bowls in time.

But, surely, if she’d been vomiting for an hour, there couldn’t possibly be much left in her stomach for her to lose, could there?

He entered the bathroom to find her breathing shallowly.  Her eyes were still closed.  Her body was limp.  Had she fallen asleep?

He knelt down next to her, bending to lift her up in his arms.  He carried her to her bed.  Then he returned to the bathroom to soak a washcloth in hot water.  He wrang it out and approached her bed.  He sat down on the edge and used the cloth to wipe her face clean. 

She looked utterly miserable.  Quite wretched.  Too pale.  Her copper hair seemed even brighter tonight in contrast to her ashen skin.  And she still wasn’t moving. 

Truthfully, she was scaring him.  Was her baby all right?  Should he take her to the emergency room?

He headed back to the bathroom to wash out the cloth and hang it up to dry.  Then he grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen in case she awoke thirsty.  He set it on the floor next to her bed.  The girl needed a nightstand.  That was the first thing he was going to buy her for Christmas.

He took a deep breath as he stood gazing down at her still form.  And his heart released a pang.  He had missed her like crazy this week.  She’d hidden from him every day.  He’d barely seen her.  Only now did he realize just how much he’d longed for her presence.  In the same room.  Face to face with him.

“Lex?” he queried quietly.

But she didn’t respond.

A wave of tenderness swamped him as his eyes slid along the curve of her lovely countenance.  He faced a startling truth.  He simply adored her.  Already.  After just a week of acquaintanceship. 

He made a quick decision.  He wasn’t about to leave her.  He crossed her room to the other side of her bed and crawled into it.  He was going to spend the night with her.  Just to make sure she was all right.  If she needed anything, he’d be right here.  Ready to assist her.

He lay awake for over an hour.  Keeping watch over her. 

But she didn’t wake up.  Her steady breathing kept him company until he finally lost the battle against keeping his own eyelids from closing.

Chapter 25: Clearing the Air – December 12

She awoke to sharp sunlight invading her consciousness.  And a deep nausea overwhelming her gastrointestinal system.  She groaned and shifted from her right side to her left.  As she did so, she finally cracked one eye open.  And lay astonished at what she saw.

Her nose was a mere foot from Yoongi’s.  Her other eye popped open.  So that both of those orbs could drink in the beautiful face of the man lying beside her.  In her bed.

Yoongi had slept with her?!  Why?

Suddenly, the events of the middle of the night returned to her.  She’d woken up horribly ill.  And Yoongi had finally returned home to find her on the floor of their bathroom.  He’d come to her rescue.  Again.  He must have.  She had no recollection of returning to her room. 

Next, she noticed the towels underneath her.  And the metal bowls at the head of the bed. 

Yes, Yoongi had set her bed up so that she could return to it.  He hadn’t wanted her sleeping on his frigid bathroom floor.  Her heart began to melt again. 

She had to learn how to harden it against him.  Or she’d never survive the winter in his apartment.  But how was she supposed to do that?  The man hadn’t even let her sleep alone.  Who in their right mind wanted to sleep next to someone who’d just spent an hour puking into the toilet?

Yet…here he was.  Yoongi was lying right next to her.

As she stared at him, tears began to slide down her cheeks. 

Why had she pulled away from him this week?  Had he been hurt by her behavior? 

Such a possibility devastated her own heart.  She couldn’t bear the thought that she might have injured a man who had been only good to her.  Honestly, Yoongi’s treatment of her went far beyond good.  It had been exceptional.  Exceptionally wonderful. 

Just like the man himself.

––

Yoongi awoke to the sound of sniffling.  He opened his eyelids just a tiny fraction.  And was startled to find himself face to face with his new roommate.  His beautiful eyes flew wide open as he took note of the tearstains on her cheeks.

“Lex?” came his deep rumble.  “What’s wrong?  Are you still feeling horrible?”

“I’m sorry, Yoongi.”

“Sorry?”  He crumpled his forehead as he drew his eyebrows down towards his nose.  “For what?”

“For ignoring you this week.”

“You weren’t ignoring me.  You were hiding from me.  There’s a difference.”

Surprised, she allowed her eyes to careen into his.  “How did you know that I was hiding from you?”

“It was obvious.  I offended you, so you didn’t want to see me.”

“You didn’t offend me!” she gasped before flipping over and jumping out of the bed. 

She ran for the bathroom.  But when her body revolted, nothing came up.  After suffering through the dry heave, she acknowledged that her body might not have fully recovered, but it had no more resources to unleash on the toilet bowl.  She groaned before standing up to shut the bathroom door.  She pulled off her clothes and climbed into the shower. 

She spent several long minutes soaking under its benevolent streams.  She could feel her body finally calming down.  And she realized that this morning’s little episode was most likely morning sickness.  Rather than the violent flu-like symptoms that had assaulted her around eleven o’clock last night.  She sighed with relief.  She really was beginning to feel better.

Until she remembered that she still had to face Yoongi.  What on earth was she going to say to the sweet man?

Chapter 26: Hangover – December 12

Yoongi could hear the shower running.  She must be feeling better if she had the energy to shower.  He closed his eyes against the glaring light invading her room through her window.  He had a headache.  He seldom drank soju anymore.  Because it made his head hurt if he touched much of it at all.

He sighed.  The only reason he’d imbibed any last night had been because his heart had been hurting.  Over the girl who occupied this bed each night.  What was he going to do about this crazy situation?

Keep his eyes closed.  And his head down.  Most likely.

It sounded like a good plan right now.  So he let his eyes fall shut again.  A few minutes later, he drifted off to sleep once more.

Alexis turned off the shower and climbed out to grab a towel.  As she was drying off, she realized her predicament.  Yoongi was lying in her bed.  In the room containing her clothes.  Of which she had brought none to the bathroom.  She wrapped the towel securely around her before opening the door a sliver.  She peeked through the crack.  But she couldn’t see anything but the corner of her room.  So she eked the door open a few more inches.  Until her eyes came to land on Yoongi’s sleeping face.

Was he truly asleep? 

She didn’t want to risk it.  But she couldn’t hide in the bathroom all morning.  Eventually, he’d need to use it.

“Yoongi?” she whispered.

No response.

What on earth was she going to do? 

She was completely uncomfortable with the idea of walking through her room wearing only a towel.  Even if he were asleep, he could wake up at any moment…. 

Then an odd idea struck her.  It seemed to be the only solution.  She hoped he wouldn’t mind.

She shut her bathroom door and crossed to his.  She opened it and entered his sanctum.  She disliked the idea of going through his drawers.  But hope found her a moment later when she noticed the long hoodie he’d draped over the end of his bed.  She stepped across the intervening space and picked it up.  Then she returned to the bathroom where she put it on.  She loathed the idea of donning her dirty clothes.  She’d been so sick last night.

She wrapped the towel around her waist and held it secure as she opened the door to her bedroom.  She crossed to the boxes on the floor and knelt in front of the one she knew held her underwear.  She dug out a pair before finding some leggings to wear.  She returned to the bathroom and finished dressing.

She glanced down at the gray hoodie she’d borrowed from him.  She was loath to give it up.  She bent her head and inhaled.  Sage swirled around her head, encapsulating all those fond memories again.  Comfort cloaked her.  She sighed as she turned back towards her room.  She needed to find one of her own shirts to wear.

“You look good in my hoodie,” a deep voice murmured from her bed.

She glanced up at him in surprise.  “I thought you were sleeping!”

“Clearly,” he muttered dryly.

Embarrassed, she felt her cheeks beginning to match her hair again.  “I didn’t realize I forgot to take clean clothes into the bathroom!  I needed something to wear so I could come in here….”  She allowed her voice to trail off as she noted the amused expression mantling his features in humor.

“I’m not upset,” he reassured her a moment later. 

After his eyes had slid down the front of her.  From her head to her toes.  And then back up again.  Those smoky, mahogany eyes captured hers again.  And she felt her stomach flip upside down. 

“I meant it.  You look good in my shirt.  You can wear it,” he asserted.  “If you want,” he added a moment later as he watched her eyes widen in surprise.

“You don’t mind?  It is comfortable.”  She grappled for an excuse.

“What are roommates for?”

A smile teased her lips.  “Does that mean that you’re going to borrow my hoodie someday?” she ribbed him.

Mock sobriety flowed across his face.  “Quite possibly.  I find that forest green one you wear to be quite fetching.  I think it would bring out the flecks in my eyes.”

She studied his serious face for a moment before a ripple of laughter escaped her lips.  Yoongi grinned in earnest then.

“I missed your laugh,” he rumbled quietly.

And that chuckle died in her mouth.  Her eyes embraced his as her heart seemed to cease beating.  “You did?”

He nodded his head.  “Almost as much as I’ve missed you.”

Her stomach did another somersault.  What were those magnificent eyes of his communicating to her right now?

“I’ve missed you too,” she admitted in a tiny voice.

“Then let’s agree not to hide from each other anymore.”  He waited for her to respond.  When she did not, he prompted her with, “Okay?”

She nodded.

He closed his eyes, and a spasm crossed his countenance.  She frowned and walked over to his side of her bed.  She sat down on the edge. 

“Yoongi?  What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.  Just a little headache.”

“You have a headache?” 

“Yeah.  Just reaping the fruit of my misdeeds,” he murmured in a deep purr.

“What do you mean?”

His eyes opened, and he peered up at her.  “I went out for soju with a couple of the cellists last night after the concert.”

“Oh,” she responded.  “And I thought you didn’t have any friends,” she continued teasingly.

“I don’t.  I usually pass up their invitations.  I just…”  He allowed his voice to trail off.  And his eyelids fell to hide his beautiful eyes from her once more.

“You were just hiding from me, weren’t you?” she asked in a small voice.

Those eyes unleashed their glories on her again.  “No!  I…I just needed to not feel for a little while last night.”

She frowned, disturbing several lines in her forehead.  “What did you not want to feel?” she breathed.

He swallowed as her eyes probed his. 

But a moment later, she retreated on her own.  “I’m sorry.  That was too personal of a question.”  She leaned forward and hovered over him in concern.  She reached up and touched his forehead.  “Where does it hurt?”

“Everywhere,” he groaned as his eyes slid shut again. 

A moment later, two blissfully cool thumbs were relieving the pressure in his temples with their gentle massage.  His face seemed to melt as his whole body began to relax.  Alexis smiled as she watched the transformation.  She had finally found a way to help the man who had done so much for her.

She sat quietly rubbing his head over the next half hour.  Under her gentle ministrations, Yoongi fell asleep again.  When her thumbs and every one of her fingers were screaming at her, she finally stopped moving them and simply stared down at the beautiful man lying in her bed.  A wave of tenderness crashed through her soul.  And a horrible ache went spiraling upward out of the core of her heart.

She loved him.

It was that simple. 

She wasn’t sure how it was even possible after one week.  But it was.  Knowing he was in pain had hurt her nearly as much as enduring her own discomfort would have.  From the beginning, Yoongi had been only ever kind to her.  Gentle.  Tenderhearted. 

As far as she was concerned, the man should never have to endure pain.  Not once.  Not ever.  Not under any circumstance. 

She wished that she could shelter him from torment as easily as he had insulated her from the cold Seoul winds that blew in the middle of the night.  He’d opened his own home to her when she’d been a sad and lonely stranger.  Yoongi had never treated her like a stranger.  He had always acted like she was his friend.  Maybe, even…like she was…family.

With a sigh, she finally stood up and headed for the kitchen.  Her belly was aching.  She wondered if Yoongi had any crackers in the apartment.  Something to stop her stomach from eating a hole clean through her.

As she rummaged through cabinets and drawers, she came across a sweet, little note that Yoongi’s grandma had written him.  About her tea cookies.  Lex’s heart released a pang as she stared at the Korean characters.  He must have been a child when his Harmony had penned him this tiny missive.  For even with her rudimentary Korean, Alexis could understand every single word. 

This was a note left over from his happy past.  Alexis had no such joy hidden in her yesterdays.  The only hangover from her childhood was the trauma that had been inflicted upon her by the man she would never have called Daddy.

Chapter 27: Hope Floats – December 12

They had arrived at an uneasy peace.  After Yoongi woke up and showered, he ate some lunch before heading to practice.  Before he left, she called out to him, “You have a concert tonight, don’t you?”

He turned back towards her with a nod.  “I do.”

“I,” she hesitated.  “Can I…?”  Her courage was failing her.

He furrowed his brow.  “What is it?  Lex?”  His soft voice was but a caress.

Her eyes found his.  Reassured by what she saw there, she continued, “Is it okay if I come?”

Vulnerability arced across his face like a strike of brilliant lightning.  “Of course!  I already told you you’re welcome!”

“But your note…”

“What note?”

“Last night.  You made it sound like you’d rather I didn’t come.”

“What?”  He stared in consternation at her.  “You thought I didn’t want you to come?”

She bobbed her head vigorously.

“No.  I wanted you to come.  I was disappointed…”  He stopped and appeared embarrassed.

Astonishment struck her countenance.  “You were disappointed that I wasn’t there last night?”

He stared at her.  Finally, he admitted quietly, “Yeah.”

“So was I!” she cried out.

“What?”  His eyes widened perceptibly.  “But I thought you weren’t there because you weren’t feeling good.”

“No,” she shook her head.  “I stayed home because I thought you didn’t want me.”  She paused.  Then added, “There,” as an afterthought.

But Yoongi caught the implication.  He swallowed.  He felt like he was now balancing on a tightrope.  He walked back across the room towards her. 

“Lex.”  He came to stand in front of her. 

She had dropped her gaze to the floor.  She seemed to be studying her toes. 

He reached out and curled his fingers around hers.  “Lex,” he whispered again.  Then he waited until she glanced up into his eyes.  “I do want you.  At my concerts.  In my apartment.  In my life.”

In my arms.

But he refrained from saying that last.  He would definitely have hit the ground if those words had fallen from his lips.  The tightrope would have been swinging over his head then.

“You do?” she asked tremulously. 

And that was when he knew how important he was to her.  Her affection for him overwhelmed him then.  All he could do was bob his head at her.  He squeezed her hands.  Then, on an impulse, he leaned forward and brushed his lips across her cheek.  And marveled at its softness.

He leaned his cheek against hers and whispered into her ear, “Never doubt that, Lex.  You hold a very special place in my heart.”

With those mysterious words, he released her fingers and disappeared out the door.  Leaving behind one very confused girl.  Who was suddenly latching on to a little bit of hope.

Chapter 28: A Fabulous Fir – December 14

“Yoongi, I have a little Christmas shopping to do.  I’ll be back in a while….”

Lex closed the door behind her as he wished her a fond farewell, and he immediately jumped into action.  He had a lot to accomplish in the next hour…

Lex had attended his concerts on Saturday and Sunday night.  It had once again felt wonderful to see her cheering him on from the front row.  Over the past couple of days, he and Lex had found a place of peace with each other.  But Yoongi desired more than that.  He wanted to make his new friend happy.  He longed to coax a smile from her sweet lips. 

One of their conversations had come back to him as he’d attempted to sleep on Saturday night after returning from his second performance this weekend.  As her words surrounding Christmas had bubbled up from the depths of his memory bank, he had decided on a plan of action.  Something to bring the joy of the season back into her life. 

Lex was still battling fatigue and nausea.  Now – with the advent of winter break – she had more time to sleep, but she also needed something to lift her spirits since she wasn’t seeing her students every day anymore.  Hence, his venture out into the city today.  He had a little shopping to do too…

Yoongi arrived home before her and sighed with relief as he toted the potted tree into his apartment.  Correction: their apartment.  He wasn’t alone anymore.  And the transition from single bachelor to roommate hadn’t been as difficult as he would have anticipated.  But for their little bumps of the past week.  He truly enjoyed Lex’s company.  And he had really delighted in picking out a Christmas tree for her. 

He had found a place to buy a Korean fir.  It was a rare treat to possess a Christmas tree in Seoul, but he knew how important it was to Lex.  On Saturday night, as they were walking back to their apartment, she had threatened to buy an artificial one.  But he had heard the despair in her voice when she’d realized how hard it was to find a real pine tree to decorate in their living room. 

So he had gone on the hunt.  Immediately.  Before she could fill his apartment with plastic branches.  He had to admit that he was reveling in the fresh scent of a conifer.  As he hoisted the tree across the floor of his apartment, its soft, green needles brushed his cheek.  For some reason, he found himself anticipating this Christmas with joy.  Was Lex the whole reason? 

He rather suspected she was….

––

With a sigh, Alexis opened the door to their apartment.  She really wanted to find a Christmas tree, but she was so exhausted from searching for the perfect Christmas present for Yoongi and from her hunt to purchase supplies for a pre-Christmas project that she hadn’t had the energy to browse any stores that might carry artificial trees.  She was disappointed too that her true heart’s desire was so elusive here.  She really loved real pine trees.

She’d never had one as a child yet had always dreamed of cutting down her own tree and decorating it.  She’d experienced such a tradition once with friends when she’d been in high school.  This marvelous memory had stayed with her.  She hadn’t anticipated being able to chop down her own tree here in Korea.  But she had hoped that this year she’d be able to find a real tree to decorate.  However, they seemed to be a rare sight in Seoul.  She had yet to find a tree lot on any corner that she’d passed.

As she swung the door open, her eyes traveled across the room.  Drawn instantly by the towering, verdant fir overshadowing the small space.  She gasped in delight.  Yoongi was standing next to his prize.  He beamed at her.

“Do you like it?”

“Do I like it?!” she squealed.  “You got me a Christmas tree?”  Her eyes instantly filled with tears as she stood, rooted in the threshold, staring at the most beautiful fir she had ever seen.  “I love it!” she exclaimed as Yoongi nodded his head.

“Where on earth did you find such a treasure?” she breathed as she finally stepped into the apartment and swung the door shut behind her.

“That’s my little secret,” he responded with a teasing smile.  Then he frowned.  “I don’t have any decorations, though.”

Her face lit up.  “Let me take care of that.  I have a little project I wanted to complete to prepare for Christmas.  The results will answer that need.”

As he studied her happy countenance, he quickly discerned how exhausted she was.  “Hey, come sit down on the couch.  Dinner will be ready soon.  Why don’t you relax and take a little snooze while I finish making it?”

Her eyes left the noble fir to find the face of the equally noble man.  And one of those pesky tears slid down her cheek. 

“Yoongi,” she whispered softly as a wave of such vulnerability rippled across her face that he felt it hit him in the gut.  Her voice seemed to wrap around his heart and give it a squeeze too.

He stood frozen.  His eyes glued to hers.  He couldn’t bring himself to look away.  He was drowning in the tenderness emanating from those magnificent, cerulean orbs.  They seemed a darker shade of blue today.  And it was drawing him in.  So was that beautiful voice of hers. 

“Are you sure you can’t sing?” he murmured after a few intense, silent moments.

Taken aback, she gasped, “What?”

“Your speaking voice is…I don’t know…comforting.  Sweet.  I find it hard to believe that your singing voice doesn’t match it.”

“Oh,” she turned beet-red suddenly.  And her glorious eyes fell away from his.  “You wouldn’t want to hear me sing, Yoongi.”  She plopped down on the couch.

He had the impression that something had just deflated her.  She sank into the couch and leaned back against it, and she seemed suddenly much smaller.  Almost like a tiny child.  Yoongi wondered what he was discerning.

“Is there a story behind that lack of confidence?” he queried quietly.

Her eyes slowly lifted to meet his.  “My stepfather once made it very clear to me that my voice is ugly.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“What?”

“Not your explanation.  I don’t believe what your stepfather said.”  He approached the couch slowly.  “What else did your stepfather say about you?”

She began to tremble.  She could feel the tremors originating in her belly and traveling outward to overtake her limbs. 

Yoongi noticed.  He saw her hands begin to shake.  A deep valley dug itself between his eyebrows.  “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” 

He sat down next to her on the couch and reached out with both of his hands to clasp hers.  He covered her trembling hands with his warm palms, wrapping his fingers around hers.  He gave them a little squeeze.  “Why are you shaking?”

She closed her eyes.  And was instantly swamped by memories which she’d rather forget.  “It’s nothing,” she muttered and yanked her hands out from underneath his as she jumped up.  “I need to go to the bathroom!” 

She disappeared from view a moment later.  And Yoongi felt…deflated now himself.  What on earth was going on in Lex’s heart?

He glanced at the Christmas tree and acknowledged that this wasn’t the outcome he’d been hoping for tonight.