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Mahogany Eyes – Book 8: A Magnificent Man

Chapter 37: Alone Again – December 21

Over the steady rhythm of the running water, Yoongi suddenly discerned another sound.  It was…the sound of sobbing.  He felt his heart sinking.  He walked towards the bathroom and placed his ear up against the door.  And heard it again.

Alexis was weeping.

Great, loud sobs.  The kind only a heartbroken woman would release.

What was wrong?  So wrong.

He wanted to rip the door off its hinges and stride into that little room and drag her gently out of the shower and into the safety of his arms.  Where he could wrap his heart around her and shield her from all the pain life could throw at her.  But, of course, he couldn’t do that.  Mostly, because the door was locked. 

Then a thought occurred to him.  And he walked out of his bedroom, through the living room, and into her room before he tried the doorknob on her side of the bathroom.  But it too was locked.

His heart sank again.  He couldn’t reach her right now.  He leaned his forehead against the door.

And heard the shower stop running.  He then heard her stepping out of the tub.  He assumed she was drying off.  Maybe wrapping a towel around herself.  And preparing to open…

Her door opened inward – towards the bathroom – and Yoongi started to fall that way too.  He reached out to grab the doorposts to right himself again.

Shock rippled across her face, and her hands flew up to secure the towel that was wrapped around her.

“Yoongi!  What are you doing in my room?” she burst out in astonishment.

“You were weeping,” was all he could say.

Her face went blank. 

“Lex.  What’s wrong?” he breathed.  He wasn’t even distracted from her distress by the sight of her creamy shoulders floating above that red towel.

But for her part, just the sound of his voice was melting her.  Let alone the caress of his eyes against her face.  If she didn’t get him out of her room right now, she was going to do something truly stupid.  Her mind was already running down that corridor.  She cleared her throat as she tried desperately to slam the door to that possibility firmly shut.  The last thing she wanted to do was to use Yoongi.  Or to hurt him.  Or to hurt herself again.

If she fell into that bed with him, and he later left her, she’d be truly devastated.  She wasn’t sure she’d ever recover.  Not this time.  She’d thought that Frederick had broken her heart.  But today she’d learned that her affection for Yoongi ran so much deeper than her feelings for Frederick ever had.

So she forced herself to look at the floor as she murmured, “Yoongi.  Please leave.  I need to get dressed.”

He stared down at the girl his heart desired with its all, and he realized what an awkward position he’d put her in.  “All right.  But once you’re dressed, I’d like you to join me in the living room.  We need to talk.”

Her heart sank to her toes.  Yoongi wanted to talk.  That didn’t sound good.  She hated confrontation.  It was brutal and painful.  And would most likely result in her moving out.  She took a deep breath while her heart broke.  Then she nodded her head.

“Okay,” she whispered.

And he turned to walk out her door.  Leaving her alone.  Again.

Chapter 38: Worthy – December 21

She slipped sheepishly out into the living room a few moments later.  She’d been so tempted to don his hoodie.  But she’d resisted.  It was still lying on her bed.  She was wearing her own navy-blue hoodie and a pair of gray leggings.  She huddled deep into her shirt as she sat down on the couch.

Her stomach was clenching from nervousness over the coming confrontation.  She winced as she heard him leave the kitchen to approach her.  She closed her eyes.  Perhaps she could hide from this discussion.

But Yoongi’s voice, when it sounded, was soft.  Not at all menacing.

“Lex, what’s wrong?”

She remained silent.  Mostly, because the tenderness in his tone had unleashed the floodgates of her tears again.  She was mortified to be crying in front of him.  She buried her head in her chest as fat teardrops slid down her cheeks. 

Yoongi frowned and seated himself next to her.  Then he reminded himself that she’d been very hurt by at least two men in her life.  Maybe, by more. He was going to have to be very gentle with her.  He had to convince her that she deserved better than Frederick.  That she didn’t have to return to him.  That there was another way…

“Lex,” he murmured quietly again.  Right before he slid his arm around her shoulders.  “He’s not good enough for you, Lex,” he bent to breathe into her ear.  “Please don’t go back to Frederick.”

Her head came up abruptly then as one shocked word flowed from her lips.  “What?”

Her eyes collided with Yoongi’s.

“Don’t move in with him.  Please.”

The appeal in his voice wrapped around her heart and squeezed it tightly.  She furrowed her brow in question.  “You want me to stay?”

Shock rippled across his face.  “Of course, I want you to stay!  Why wouldn’t I?”

“You saw Frederick kiss me, didn’t you?” she whispered in the tiniest of voices.

He nodded.

“Did you also see me shove him away?”

His face lit up with hope and something else…. 

Relief? 

“You did?” he asked eagerly.  Overjoyed.

“Yes.  I told him that I never want to see him again.  Then he,” she sniffed, cutting herself off.  She didn’t attempt to finish that sentence.

Yoongi’s eyebrows took a dive towards his nose.  “He what, Lex?  What did Frederick do?”

“Nothing.  He just reminded me of who I am,” she mumbled.

Yoongi didn’t like the sound of that.  “What does that mean?”

When she remained silent, he prodded her gently.  “Who are you, Lex?”

“Nobody special,” she gulped as she choked back another sob.

Yoongi was furious.  Had Frederick been standing in front of him, he would have cheerfully removed the man’s front teeth with his own fist.  But the phantom had fled, and the hurt girl was the only one confronting him now.  And she definitely needed a softer touch.

He bent his head closer to hers as he gently squeezed her shoulder.  Then his lips brushed her cheek tenderly.  “You are worthy,” he whispered against her skin.

And something broke on the inside of her heart.  Like a spring had suddenly snapped in half.  A great sob escaped her lips as she turned towards him and threw her head at his chest.  Yoongi’s other arm came up around her, drawing her close to him.  He held onto her for dear life.  As she was doing to him.

Chapter 39: Kaleidoscope – December 21

Alexis clung to Yoongi and grappled to find the courage to let go of him.  She knew that it was for the best.  As much as she adored him, and as absolutely wonderful as he was to her, she had to find the strength to stand on her own two feet.  Yoongi deserved so much more than she could ever give him.  He was worthy of a woman’s whole heart.  And her heart definitely wasn’t whole anymore.  It had been shattered over and over again throughout her entire life.  She had only pieces left to give him.  And pieces weren’t enough.

Finally, she pulled away from him.  “You don’t understand, Yoongi.  I thought things could be different.  But they can’t.”

“What?”  Perplexed, he frowned at her.  “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t you see?  I’m cursed.  History is repeating itself.”

“What do you mean?  What history?”

“I got pregnant.  Just like my mom.  With the baby of some guy who didn’t want her.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened as he stared at her.  Understanding was beginning to dawn.

“She met my stepfather while she was pregnant.  He offered to marry her.  She left him a few years later.” Alexis stared down at her lap.  “She left me too.  I was four years old.  She’d found a new boyfriend.  I guess he was really something special.”

Horrified, Yoongi gaped at her.  “Your mother left you behind?”

She nodded.

“With your stepfather?”

Again, her head bobbed up and down.

“You haven’t seen her since?  She never came to visit?”

Alexis shook her head.  “No,” she mumbled in a low tone, barely discernible.

“And you think – what?  That if you stay with me, someday you’ll leave me and your child to shack up with some other guy?”

Her eyes met his.  “What?  No.”  She took a deep breath.  “I could never hurt you like that.  But clearly, there’s something wrong with me.  I mean, my own mother left me!  What man could ever truly want such damaged goods?”

Yoongi gazed down at her in consternation.  “Alexis, your mother’s decision had absolutely nothing to do with you.  She was a selfish woman.  And probably a very broken one too.  A mother who could leave behind her four-year-old daughter has some very deep-seated problems.”

She shook her head.  “No.  it wasn’t just her.  It was them too.  My daddy didn’t want me.  Neither did my stepfather.”

Confused, Yoongi asked, “Didn’t he raise you?”

She nodded.  “But he hated every minute of it.  And he wasn’t shy about letting me know.”  She reached up and rubbed her cheek.  “He hit me so hard across my face one day that he left a handprint on my cheek.  It didn’t go away for two whole days.”

Yoongi’s gut clenched.  He peered down at her sweet face.  “Which cheek?”

“What?” she stared up at him blindly, uncomprehending.

“Which cheek did he hit?”

“Oh,” a tiny exclamation left her lips.  “This one.”  She brushed her fingers over her left cheek. 

Then Yoongi leaned towards her until his lips brushed that once-offended slope.  “I am so sorry, dear cheek, that you were treated so poorly by another man,” he whispered tenderly against her skin.

She stifled a sob as his lips continued to caress her cheek.  Yoongi was stripping away every defense she had left.  Her heart would be lying naked before him soon.   But she was powerless to stop him.  Trembling, she sat within the circle of his arms as his lips continued their gentle perusal of her skin.  She melted against him.  Now willing to give the man anything he asked for.

But…he didn’t ask for anything.

“Lex,” he breathed into her ear, “you are welcome to stay here for as long as you want.  You and your baby both.  With me.  Forever…if you like.  You will always have a home with me.  A sanctuary.”

She froze. 

A sanctuary?

Had Yoongi heard her song?  The one she’d written about him?

He answered her question a moment later as he began to sing her song back to her, changing up the lines. 

“I’ll be your

Sanctuary. 

“I’ll be your

Seat of safety. 

“I’ll always be here for you. 

Always pulling your heart through.”

He was murmuring those lines into her ear.  His lips still hovering over her skin.  His breath calming her.  She closed her eyes as several tears began to leak out.  She could feel them sliding down her cheeks.

Yoongi’s lips brushed her again, and he froze.  He’d tasted the salty tang of her life’s sorrow.  He kissed her cheek again.  His lips lingering against that moist spot. “Please, Lex.  Stay.  I want you.  I want you.”  Then he took a risk, setting his hand gently down to rest over her belly, “And your baby.”

She gasped at the tender touch of his warm palm.  Its heat radiated throughout her insides.  Warming her.  And making her desire…so many things.  Her eyes still sealed shut, she began to tremble again.  This time because Yoongi was touching places in her heart no one had contacted in years.  She felt so exposed.  So vulnerable.

And she wanted nothing so much as she longed to give herself to him.  And to accept all of himself.  But she had learned one valuable lesson, at least.  She could never again give herself to a man who wasn’t wholly committed to her.  Her heart just couldn’t take that kind of pain again.

But Yoongi had said she and her baby could stay with him forever.  Did he mean that he wanted her intimately?  Or just as a friend?  As a roommate?

He had never murmured words of love.  Or of marriage.  He hadn’t even asked her out on a date. 

She was so confused.  What did Yoongi expect of her?  She was too scared to ask.  She didn’t want to get her hopes up.  Only to have them dashed by a cold dose of reality once more. 

“Lex,” his soft whisper sounded in her ear.  She shivered as his warm breath traveled down her neck.  She trembled because her desire for him was so great, and it increased with his every breath…with his every murmur.

“Lex, look at me,” he coaxed her gently.

She pulled her head away from his and hesitantly met his eyes.

Those mahogany eyes.  So full of tenderness for her right now.  Tenderness that sank its roots down deep into her heart.  So deep that she felt her stomach flipping upside down again.

His breath slid across her lips.  She parted them slightly to breathe him in as his eyes caressed hers.  Then his gaze fell to her mouth.  Before she even had time to react, he was leaning in. 

A moment later, his soft lips brushed gently against hers.  And her stomach did a full-out somersault as every single desire she’d battled for nearly three weeks all cascaded into her soul in a cacophony of kaleidoscoping emotions.  The colors of his affection for her all bled together to create a glorious masterpiece of ecstasy interwoven with acceptance that encompassed her heart like a warm bath, pulling her under to revel in the embrace of its comfortingly deep waters. 

Alexis was in heaven.

Chapter 40: Between Two Loving Arms – December 21

Yoongi was lost.  In her lips.  He hadn’t meant to fall in love with a single mother.  Or his roommate.  But no matter how he had tried to keep his distance from her emotionally, she had continued to draw him in.  With one flash of her great, cerulean eyes.  And the curve of her pretty, pink lips.  And the tinkling of her laughter.  And the sensitivity of her heart.

Lex was a generous soul.  And he found that he didn’t wish to live any longer without her bounty.  He wanted her in his arms.  Not just in his apartment.  He also longed for her to be secure in his affections.  Too many men had already surrounded her with instability.  Expecting her to roll with their punches.

But Yoongi truly loved her.  And he recognized that true love required sacrifice.  It didn’t just encourage it.  Real love meant laying down his own desires and needs to meet hers.

So, after kissing her gently for a few more seconds, he drew reluctantly away from her.  Just a smidge.  His lips still brushed hers as he spoke. 

“I love you, Lex.”

She gasped and withdrew from him until her eyes collided with his own.  “You do?”

He nodded.

A sheepish smile crowned her blushing lips.  “I love you too,” she whispered.

Suddenly, a grin of such blinding strength struck him that it suffused his whole face with his joy.  “You do?” he echoed.

She bobbed her head.

Ecstatic, he leaned forward and claimed her lips again in a very sweet kiss.

But, after a moment, she drew back.  “Yoongi, I can’t…”

“I know,” he murmured as he leaned his forehead against hers.  “I don’t expect anything from you, Lex.  Just let me love you.  And promise me that you’ll keep living here, occupying your room.  And that if you need anything,” he pulled away and stared down into her eyes as he emphasized, “anything – I mean it, Lex – you’ll come to me first.  You’ll let me help you.”

She swallowed.  She wasn’t used to such extraordinary kindness.  “All…all right,” she gulped.

“There’s one more thing.”

Her heart convulsed.  “What?”

“Promise me that you’ll spend Christmas with me.”

Her heart recovered just in time to melt.  A relieved smile lit up her face.  “All right.”

“This year…”

She nodded.

“…and every year.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder as her arms encompassed him, and she hugged him tight.  “It’s a deal, Yoongi.  I will always spend Christmas with you.”

Yoongi smiled.  He had her just where he wanted her.

Chapter 41: Grateful – December 24

The next few days were busy ones for them both.  Alexis worked hard to finish all her ornaments before Yoongi’s Christmas Eve performance.  She was putting the final touches on the last ornament when he breezed through the door on Thursday afternoon. 

He glanced at her expectantly.  “Did you finish them?”

She nodded as a huge smile overwhelmed her countenance.  “I did!  I just finished the last one.  This batch just needs to dry.”

“Do you want to grab some lunch with me?”

“Yes.  Then I’ll walk home alone while you head to rehearsal.  I’ve got a little Christmas shopping to do.”  She smiled secretively at him.

He grinned.  He had just finished his own Christmas shopping.  Now he needed to go wrap a present.  “I’ll be ready to leave in about ten minutes.”

She sent him another smile as he walked into his bedroom, firmly shutting its door a moment later.

––

Later that evening, after another stellar performance by Yoongi and another successful sale by Alexis, they walked home, hand in hand.  She had insisted that she wanted to walk. 

“I need the fresh air,” she’d claimed. 

Truthfully, she hadn’t wanted to miss another chance to cling to Yoongi’s hand while she watched the Christmas lights spreading their cheer along the main road.

Yoongi was carrying her empty boxes in his free arm.

“I can’t believe I sold eight hundred and seventy-five ornaments!” she gasped suddenly, astounded that so many people loved such a simple creation.

“I can.  I knew you were going to be a roaring success.”  He beamed down at her.

“Thank you, Yoongi,” she whispered as she gazed up at him with stars in her eyes.

“For what?”

“For believing in me.”

“Ha.  That’s the easy part,” he rejoined.

Perplexed, she pulled her eyebrows down.  “What’s the hard part?”

“Getting you to believe in you,” he murmured gently.

She sighed.  “Keep working on me, Yoongi.”

“I plan to,” he smiled and bent to brush his lips across hers briefly.  Then he gave her hand a squeeze and tugged her towards home. 

“I can’t wait until we get home.”

“Why?” she asked, completely in the dark.

“Because it’s freezing out here.  I want to cuddle up under a blanket with you on the couch and watch a good drama.”

She turned her head to gaze up at his sweet face.  “That sounds like heaven.”

“It is.”  His smile faded.  “Because you’re here with me, Lex.  You have no idea how many times my heart has released a prayer of thanksgiving that I had a craving for ramen on a cold Thursday in December.”

Her smile melted away as she continued to stare up at him.  “I’ve prayed that same prayer,” she murmured, “more times than I can count.”

Suddenly, his grin surfaced again.  “And I can’t wait until tomorrow!”

A mysterious smile lit up her face.  “Neither can I.”

Chapter 42: Merry Christmas! – December 25

She arose early.  She had made the cinnamon rolls while he was at practice yesterday afternoon.  Then she had stashed the pan at the bottom of the refrigerator towards the back.  So that he wouldn’t see them.  But now it was time to bake them.  She hoped to wake Yoongi with their spicily sweet aroma.  So she tiptoed out to the kitchen to preheat the oven.

Then she pulled the pan from the fridge and let the rolls warm up on the counter before sliding them into the oven to bake.  She massaged the plastic bag of frosting she’d made yesterday.  When the rolls were done baking, she would snip the corner off the bag and drizzle the creamy icing over the hot cinnamon rolls.  Her mouth watered as she anticipated eating the first one.

But that wasn’t right….

She was going to give Yoongi the first one.

After all, she’d made them for him.  But that wouldn’t stop her from enjoying some herself.

She glanced over at the tree.  The gentle glow of its numerous, colorful lights was illuminating the living room.  Its beauty drew her across the room.  She reached out to touch the soft, green needles of that splendid fir.  Their silvery underside caught the glow of the Christmas lights.  As her eyes studied the branches of that noble conifer, she caught sight of one of its unique purple pinecones.  And breathed a sigh of contentment.

She finally had it.  The perfect Christmas tree.  Few things in her life had been this beautiful.  Peace filled her soul as she gazed at that glowing fir.  Her handmade ornaments were sparkling under those lights, reminding her of Yoongi’s faith in her.  That was the best Christmas gift he could have given her.

A few minutes later, she pulled the rolls from the oven, frosted them, and slid two onto a plate.  Then she approached Yoongi’s room.  Hesitantly, she opened his door a crack.  But she couldn’t see anything, so she pushed the door open farther.  Once the living room light had created a glowing rectangle on his bedroom floor, it released enough illumination for her to see his prone figure buried beneath the blankets covering his bed. 

She tiptoed into his room and sat down on the edge of his bed.  This space felt oddly intimate.  She gazed down at his beautiful face, relaxed in slumber.  And her heart gave a pang for him.

Should she wake him up?  Or let the cinnamon rolls get cold before he awoke on Christmas morning? 

She hated to disturb his rest.  Still, she whispered his name.

“Hmmm,” he groaned and rolled towards her. 

She sat still and gazed down at his face. 

He cracked one eye open after a few seconds.  “Do I smell cinnamon?”  His deep, scratchy voice gave her chills.

“I made you cinnamon rolls.  Merry Christmas, Yoongi!”

“Cinnamon rolls?!”  Both eyes flew open, and he sat up, his blankets falling down to reveal his white T-shirt.  As a gummy grin overcame his countenance, he reached out and picked up one of the steaming rolls.  “Wow!  They’re still hot!”  But that didn’t stop him from carrying that sweet creation to his lips.  Or from taking a bite.  He closed his eyes in bliss.  “I think I just discovered another of your talents!”

She smiled as she nibbled on her own pastry.  “They turned out perfect!”

“Indeed.  They did.”  Yoongi scooted up the bed until his back was nestled against the wall.  Then he patted the bed next to him.  “Come up here.” 

He pulled the covers back and waited for her to settle in next to him.  Once she was seated up against the wall too, he drew the blankets up over her legs towards her waist.  Then he beamed at her.  “I think I like you here,” he whispered huskily.

She blushed.  Thankfully, he couldn’t tell in the semidarkness of his bedroom.

She ate her cinnamon roll in silence while his eyes slid all over her face.  He was grinning to himself.  He was pretty sure that Lex adored him as much as he loved her.

When he finished his roll, he muttered, “I think I need another.”

“I’ll get it for you!” she made a move to throw the covers back, but he prevented her. 

“No.  I’ll do it.  Stay.  I’ll be right back.  Do you want another one?”

She gave him a sheepish smile before nodding her head vigorously.  He chuckled and slid out from under the covers.  He crawled over her and headed for the kitchen.  He joined her again a few seconds later, carrying a plate laden with cinnamon rolls.

She laughed.  “How many of those things are you planning to eat?”

“Me?” he asked in mock innocence.  “These are all for you.  You’re eating for two, you know!”

“Two?  Two people or two squadrons?” she breathed.

He chuckled.

“Yoongi, I couldn’t possibly eat all of those!  I mean, I could.  But I shouldn’t….”

He chuckled because she was eyeing the plate greedily.  He picked up a roll and held it up to her lips.  She opened her mouth and accepted a bite.  As he drew the sweet away from her mouth, he bent his head and brushed his lips across her frosting-clad ones.  He licked the sweetness off her mouth, causing her to gasp and draw back.

“Yoongi!”

“What?  You tasted sweet.  I wanted some more.  You’ve given me an appetite for sweetness.”  His mahogany eyes caressed her cerulean ones. 

And she flushed again.  Before clearing her throat and glancing at the cinnamon roll in his hand.  “Do I get any more?” she whispered.

“That depends,” he teased her.

Her eyes careened into his.  “On what?”

“Do I get any more?” he asked her provocatively as his eyes slid towards her lips again.

She bit her bottom lip, tucking it under her top teeth.  Then she leaned towards him and planted a firm kiss against his mouth.  Those lips curved into a smile under hers as his arm slid around her and tugged her close to him.  He took his time teasing those sweet lips with his own.  And enjoying the sound of her breathing so near to him.

He felt her relaxing after a bit.  Finally, after several more seconds of bliss, he drew back.  “Lex,” his breath flowed over her face, “you don’t ever have to be afraid of me.  I’m not going to hurt you.  I swear it.”

Her eyes danced with his.  “I believe you, Yoongi.”  And she did.

It surprised her.  But she did.

“By the way…I love your voice, Lex.  It’s sweet music to my ears.  Whether you’re speaking…or singing.”

His words washed over her in a beautiful wave.  She blinked in astonishment.  Hardly able to fathom such praise.

His lips curved into a wide smile.  “Are you ready to open your Christmas present?”

Her countenance lit up with a matching grin.  And she bobbed her head like a five-year-old.  “Yes!”

––

He handed her a long, skinny, rectangular box.  Lovingly wrapped.  “Merry Christmas, Lex.”

She beamed up at him as she accepted the gift.  She took her time opening it.  She’d be receiving only one present today; she wanted to savor the experience.  A minute later, she unearthed a long, wooden mold.  She gazed down at its six round wells.  One was inscribed with Korean characters, another with a flower created by the melding of seven circles surrounding one in the middle.  The third and fourth impressions housed two more blossoms, the first created by joining teardrops and the second, half-moons.  The last two casts encompassed two more designs for which she had no name.

“It’s a dasik mold,” Yoongi informed her.

She nodded.  “I know,” she whispered.  “It’s beautiful, Yoongi!”

He smiled.  “I wanted you to be able to make dasik the traditional way.”

Her eyes kissed his.  “I love it!  Thank you.” 

She stood up and walked over to the tree.  She reached down under it and pulled out a Christmas tin.  She wandered back to the couch and handed the present to him. 

“Merry Christmas, Yoongi,” her soft voice caressed his ears with pleasure.  “Apparently, great minds think alike.” 

His thumb brushed hers as he reached out to accept her gift.  Their eyes collided again, and he acknowledged that heartening zing that zipped along his nerves every time he came into contact with her.  Whether it was the touch of her fingers, or her lips, or their eyes connecting.  Even the sound of her voice excited him.  He loved every single part of this girl.

“Thanks, Lex,” he grinned as he removed the lid.  He chuckled.  “Dasik!  The perfect Christmas gift!”  He reached in and liberated a cookie from the tin before popping it into his mouth.

“Oh, that’s not your only gift.  I have one more for you.”  She pulled a large, rectangular box out from under the tree.

His eyebrows challenged the star on the top of the Christmas tree.  “Another one?  Lex, you didn’t have to spoil me.”

“Are you kidding me?  Yes, I did!  You have certainly spoiled me!”  She smiled as she handed him the box after settling herself on the couch next to him once more.

He set down the tin and accepted her second gift.  He tore off the paper.  This might be his last gift today, but he was too eager to see what she’d bought him.  He couldn’t wait a moment longer.

His eyes took in the navy-blue fabric.  He reached in and unearthed a large hoodie.  A chuckle escaped his lips as he shook it out.  His eyes slid her way.  “I suppose this means I’m not getting my gray one back?”

“You suppose rightly!  Although, upon second thought, perhaps we can trade them periodically.  Eventually, they’ll stop smelling like you.  And your comforting scent is my favorite part of your hoodie.”

“My scent?” he asked, clueless.  “What do I smell like?”

“Sage,” she whispered dreamily.  “And bergamot.  And cedarwood.”

“Oh.  That’s the lotion I use.  And maybe my deodorant.”

She leaned towards him and inhaled near his shoulder.  “Yep.  You still smell like it.”

He grinned at her and bent his head to rub his nose over her hair.  “You still smell like lily of the valley.  Maybe you could rub a little of your soap on my new hoodie?” he razzed her.

Blushing, she pulled away.  “Hey!  Stop teasing me.  I like the way you smell.  Okay?” she asked a tad defensively.

“It’s perfectly okay.  And I like the way you smell too.” 

Why did it sound so provocative when he said it that way?

She blinked up at him as two roses suddenly bloomed in her cheeks.  He chuckled when he saw the garden coming to life in her countenance.  He bent towards her and brushed his lips across hers again.

“Yoongi…” she warned him a few moments later.  His ardor was making her slightly uneasy.  How was she supposed to live with him and kiss him and resist him all at the same time?

She stood up.  Just to get some fresh air.  And to lengthen the distance between her and her tempting beau.

“I think it’s time…” he murmured.

Chapter 43: The Bright and Morning Star – December 25

“Time for what?” she queried a little nervously.

Yoongi stood up then.  He wandered over to the Christmas tree, knelt in front of it, and pulled out a golden gift sack that had been hiding under the depths of its green branches.  He held it up to Lex, who was standing above him now.  She gave him a sweet smile. 

“What’s that?” she questioned him quietly.

A mysterious expression cloaked his face in vulnerability.  “Your Christmas present.”

“Yoongi!” she rebuked him softly.  “You got me another one?  But…I have nothing else to give you.”

“Yes, you do,” he responded quizzically in an undertone.

She furrowed her brow at him as she reached down to accept his bounty.  She examined the shiny gold gift sack before pulling out its matching tissue paper.  She reached down inside and withdrew a small box.  Clothed in plush velvet.  She gasped.

Her eyes flew to Yoongi’s.  Her heart began to pound.  So hard that she thought she’d faint.  Swallowing, she dropped the bag on the floor and used her freed fingers to pry the lid open.

Alexis gazed down into the little, velvet jewelry box.  It was her favorite color.  A deep forest green.  That verdant velvet encased a sparkling diamond.  Attached to a golden band.  It looked very much like an engagement ring.

“Yoongi?” she croaked in a whisper when she could finally find her voice again.  “What is this?”

He was still kneeling on the floor at the foot of the Christmas tree.  Right next to the spot from which he’d unearthed this tiny treasure.  And right below her.  He was gazing up at her with an indescribable expression on his face and a precious light in his eyes.  They both made her weak in the knees.  And released a warm buzz along every nerve she possessed.  She was afraid that she’d crumple to the ground in front of him momentarily.

“Lex,” he whispered gruffly.  “I love you.  I want you.  Will you marry me?”

Her heart stopped pounding.  Abruptly.  It simply ceased to beat as his words reverberated throughout it.  “What?” she asked as tears slid toward her eyelids.

“Lex, you possess the one thing I really want.  You can give me your delightful self.”  He paused.  “If you’re willing…to take a chance on a man like me.”

“A man like you?” she cried out softly as, finally giving in to her weakness, she dropped down to her knees in front of him.  “You mean, a sweet man?  An incredibly kind man?  An unbelievably generous man?  A wholly lovable man?”

“Am I?” he queried hollowly as his eyes searched hers hungrily.

She bobbed her head vigorously up and down several times.  “You are.  Eminently lovable.”

“Is that a yes, Lex?”

Her eyes searched his.  “Yoongi.  Are you – are you sure?  You know you’re signing up for fatherhood if you marry me?”

“I know.”

“Are you ready for that?”

He answered her honestly.  “No.”

Her heart sank.  And her eyes slid away from his face.

“Not any more ready than you feel,” he continued.  “But I’m not ready to be in love either.  Yet I am.”

Those brilliant blue orbs rose to meet his mahogany ones again.  “You are?” she breathed in wonder.

“Yes.  With a sweet girl who moved in with me a couple of weeks ago.”  He bent towards her as a smile lit his face.  “She’s going to be the best eomma I know.  And I’m hoping that I’ll make a worthy appa for her baby.”

“Oh, Yoongi!”  Her face completely melted.  Right along with her heart.  “You are going to make the most magnificent appa ever!  I have absolutely no doubt about it.  None whatsoever!  I just don’t want to saddle you with someone else’s child.”

“You’re not saddling me with anything, Lex.  I love you,” his tender words brushed across her heart again like a warm caress cascading throughout the corridors of that hidden realm.  Seeking to carry their peace and joy into the deepest regions of her core.

But Yoongi wasn’t done speaking.  “And I love your baby.”  He glanced down at her still taut belly.  Then he took another chance and reached up to place his hand over it. 

She could feel the heat of his palm leaking into her skin.  Warming her throughout her entire body.  She knew her cheeks were blazing now too.  Why did that feel like such an intimate place to be touched by a man?

“Our baby.  If you’ll both have me,” he mumbled as his eyes remained trained on her abdomen. 

Was he sheepish about meeting her gaze?  She felt that he was hiding from her.

“Yoongi, you’re not hiding from me, are you?  If I’m going to marry you, you must promise me one thing.”

“What?” His head flew up as his whole expression was swallowed up by an excruciating hope.

“You must promise me that you won’t ever hide those amazing mahogany eyes from me ever again,” she breathed.

A wide smile suddenly eclipsed Yoongi’s entire face with such an exultant joy that Alexis felt her breath being snatched from her again.  His hand slid from her belly around to her back as his other hand joined it to pull her close to him.  His smile disappeared as his face bent towards hers. 

Her own smile faded quickly as she lifted her face towards his.  Her eyes fluttered shut.  A moment later, the sweetest kiss she’d ever experienced brushed against her lips, and she sighed happily as lightning struck her through Yoongi’s magnificent mouth. 

Lex had finally found it.  The thing she’d spent her whole life searching for.

Home.

She’d finally found her home in magnificent Mahogany Eyes.