I watch slightly bewildered as my tall, dark son trips over the laundry basket that I placed on the floor a few moments before. Kookie goes flying forward, his arms flailing out to prevent his fall. Thankfully, he catches the wall with one hand and steadies himself without being hurt. But his once dramatic exit has taken a comic turn. The girls both cover their mouths as laughter bubbles up from within them. But I don’t feel like laughing as I watch Kookie turn and give them a dirty look before he stomps out of the room.
I sigh. My once tranquil life has unexpectedly become full of angst. And it’s all because Kookie is now part of my family. Although, to be fair, the encounter with the cretin wasn’t his fault. Though, before Kookie entered our lives, I did homeschool my children. So there were no cavemen to hide from previously.
I glance at the girls before I turn to leave the room.
“Janna,” I speak softly as I face the doorway. “You know it wasn’t right to lie to Kookie, right?” Then slowly I turn back and meet her eyes.
She nods. “I know, Mom. But I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want Emmie to be embarrassed. She hangs out here all the time. Life would become really awkward if Kookie knew she likes him.”
I nod, understanding. But they all would have survived. Now a lie stands between Janna and Jungkook. And it doesn’t make me happy. Because I know the way life works, and one of these days, the truth will be revealed, and Kookie will feel betrayed. He will wonder why his twin chose her best friend over her oldest friend, her own brother.
I sigh again and head for the kitchen. I pull up short as I round the corner. My eldest son is waiting for me in the hallway, and I can tell by the look on his face that he knows. And he purposely waited for me. Our eyes meet in mutual agreement. Silently, we walk to the kitchen.
He turns to face me, our eyes connecting.
“You’re a brilliant actor, Kookie.”
This doesn’t surprise me. Jungkook has always been a master of hiding his feelings when he wants to. He gets that poker face from me. For a long time, I didn’t know I had one. I thought everything I felt showed on my face, but then I started teaching high school students, and they could never interpret my face when I was trying to be mysterious. It shocked me because I had thought they’d see right through me. I am generally a very honest and forthright person. I am genuine. My husband calls me “earnest.” So, I just figured I’d be no good at subterfuge. But it turns out that’s not true. And as I glance at my oldest, I realize he’s inherited that trait from me.
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“About the fact that Emmie’s in love with me?” he whispers.
Just hearing him say it is shocking. I really thought he didn’t know.
“How long have you known?”
He smiles, and it lights up those pretty eyes of his. “Since the first day of kindergarten.”
“What?” I laugh, genuinely surprised. All these years he’s known, and all this time he’s kept her secret. I look at him, my affection for this sweet boy brimming in my eyes. “You are the kindest person I know, Kookie.”
He quirks his left eyebrow at me. “I just didn’t want to embarrass her, Mom. You can’t help who you like. I’ve just never reciprocated her feelings. I mean,” he shrugs, “she’s cute and all, but I don’t know. There’s just no…spark.” He looks deep into my eyes. “You know?”
I nod, then I respond, “But, Kookie, that can change. One of these days she may suddenly hit you over the head with a lightning bolt.”
He tilts his head as he considers me. “Is that what happened to you?”
“Sort of. I was intrigued by your father from the first because he was so brilliant. He just showed up in the middle of Calculus III and started correcting our professor. At first, I was irked because I had been the top student, and I knew I was our teacher’s favorite. That teacher was my favorite too. He was my mentor and more than half the reason I changed my major to mathematics from English.
“But your father and I ended up being a match for each other in that class. We would take turns getting the highest score on the latest test. He didn’t knock me out of my hallowed spot, as it turned out. He really didn’t have any interest in doing so either. But I wasn’t really interested in him until the next semester. I think it just kind of snuck up on me. But eventually, I was over the moon for him. I still remember what being lovesick felt like. Sort of like I was flying among the clouds, and I had no interest in returning to earth. All I’m saying is, be open. She’d be a good choice.”
“You think so?” His eyebrows challenge his hairline as he stares at me, wide-eyed.
I nod. “I do. She’s a sweet girl, and she’s very smart. She has a faithful heart. She’s been your sister’s best friend all these years, no matter what mood she’s had to endure from Nana. You know how challenging she can be.” I look at him pointedly, and he grins.
“That’s the lawyer in her coming out!” he laughs, but with affection.
“So…if you knew that Emmie had taken your sweatshirt, why did you go along with Nana’s lie?”
He shrugs again. “Because I understood. She was protecting us both. How awkward would it be if Emmie knew that I knew that she liked me?” he responded, his voice barely above a whisper.
“So why did you come barging into the bedroom? Why didn’t you just walk on by? Did you hear what I said?”
“That you were going to tell me you found it? But not where you found it?” He bends a stern glance on me as he raises his left eyebrow again. I love it when he does that. He gets that ability from his father.
I smile. “It wouldn’t have been a lie. You probably wouldn’t have asked.”
“And if I had? Would you have lied to me, Mom?”
Now it’s my turn to look like an old schoolmarm correcting her pupils. “Jung Kook Franklin!”
Kookie cringes; he knows he’s in trouble. I didn’t call him Kookie, and I included his last name.
“I promised you when you were tiny that I would never lie to you, and I never have. I probably would have said something mysterious like, ‘A lady never reveals her source.’ And you would have just had to live with it. But you didn’t answer my question. Why did you confront her?”
As I study his face, I wonder if he was testing her. If he was curious what it would feel like for her to confess her love to him. I suddenly remember the look on his face as he gazed down at her.
“Kookie?” I whisper.
He looks at me, alarmed. “No, Mom, don’t go there. I don’t like that look. It means you think you’ve read my heart. Sometimes I don’t even know what’s going on in there!”
Indeed. This day just keeps getting more and more interesting.
“I just wanted my sweatshirt back.”
Sure. Sure, you did. You just keep telling yourself that, son.
