Still with You – Chapter 4: Behind that Faint Smile

He had never seemed perturbed that she had no words to give him.  She rarely spoke.  But he hadn’t cared.  He’d done the talking for them both.  

Had he opened his mouth to her because he loved her so?  Had he spoken so often in her presence because he wished to solace her?  To lift her spirits and carry her away to some fantastic land where she would be free from the dark cloud under which she had been born?  But…she’d never told him her darkest secret.  She’d never told him any of her secrets.

She’d noticed he was quiet around everyone else.  But not when he was alone with her.  In those moments, he was loquacious.  His lovely tongue would pen her poems or tell her jokes that made her laugh for hours.  He had always filled her mouth with such joy.  Her heart too.  

Though, even then, it had been fleeting.  She’d been holding her breath.  Waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Still, his joy had carried her through those days they’d spent together.  In his presence, she had finally eked some pleasure from life.

How could she face tomorrow without his laughter?  What was the point in living if she couldn’t laugh?  Or be with him?

Most often, he simply spoke in his steady, sweet, soft voice.  Teasing her consciousness with his kindness.  Offering to bring her anything she needed.  Or to do something for her.  That was the thing that had always made Jungkook stand out in her mind.  His kindness.  He was a truly kind individual.  He was the first kind person she had ever encountered.  He had no hidden agendas.  No secret motives.  He just wanted to bless her.  

It was his fatal flaw.  The thing that had drawn her to him.  Even though she knew better.  Her father expected her to marry within the company.  A good boy like Jungkook was off limits to her.  He always had been.  She had simply lacked the strength to resist his sweetness in the beginning.  

So she had snuck around.  Hoping…praying she wouldn’t get caught.  She’d just had to see more of Jungkook.  She’d needed to experience a little more of that adorable sweetness that was his essence.  She’d needed the light of his smile to illuminate her way.  She’d longed to bask in the warmth of that curve.  Just a little longer.

From the very beginning of their acquaintance, he had honored her.  Opened doors for her.  Pulled her chair out.  Tucked it in.  Smiled at her in that endearing way he had that lit up not just his face but also his eyes.

Oh!  Those eyes!  

They had been her downfall.  How did they gleam so brightly as though they contained an inner light?  They had always caressed her with such sweetness.  She could feel her stomach turning somersaults just thinking about those great, dark eyes of his.  Just their memory made her yearn for him.

Like his faintest smile could make her long for him.  Because she knew what lay behind that subtle smile.  A truly beautiful heart.  A heart she yearned for even now.  It was the same thing hidden in those eyes.  Such beauty she had never before imagined it.  

She hadn’t been used to kindness.  She’d had no familiarity with compassion or innocent humor.  She’d known only violence and a cold kind of dread that kept her frozen in her bed each night.  And in her footsteps each day.

Until Jungkook.

He had introduced her to the sun.  To light.  To the warmth of his smile.  Faint though it was sometimes.  He had introduced her to his heart.  The sweetest one of all.  She rather suspected she was still caught there.  Between his smile and his eyes.

 

This Post Has One Comment

  1. Lucia

    A person could fall in love with him after this description. I am a person 🙂

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