Jung Sook stood at the window and watched Soo Ho walk down the road back towards the hwarang house. And sighed with relief to see him go. The boy was getting too close to her heart. What was she going to do about that?
The first thing, of course, was to stop thinking of him as a man. And to think of him only as a boy. That would put a proper distance between them. And make him seem less threatening to her heart.
She had never believed that her heart could be threatened by a man. Her body maybe. But not her heart. She’d thought herself impervious to such an attraction. Because all men were evil. Only…
…they weren’t.
Soo Ho had proven his goodness to her over the last month. With his steady kindness. And his sweet attention. And his ready defense of her. He had truly become her friend.
She’d never had a close friend before. Except for Lady Ae Ji. Still, Jung Sook had never been emotionally intimate with a boy. Not even in the realm of friendship. She’d never shared her thoughts with someone else. Or her laughter either.
Was that the reason this whole situation had suddenly become terrifying?
But it was more than that.
She was beginning to crave his company. Even now. As she watched him saunter away. She wanted to run to him. So that she could talk with him. And laugh with him.
That was her favorite part. The boy made her laugh.
She smiled sadly as he disappeared down the road. He wouldn’t be making her laugh any more tonight.
––
He was waiting in the shadows when she passed by him ten minutes later. He frowned. He’d been right. Jung Sook had just lied to him. She hadn’t been meeting a student tonight. She just hadn’t wanted to see him anymore. He hung his head as he watched her ambling down the road towards the hwarang house.
She was still afraid of him. Wasn’t she? But…why?
Hadn’t he proven himself to her yet? He’d rescued her from that filthy beggar. He showed up every morning to escort her to the school to safeguard her. And now he was taking the time to teach her how to defend herself with a sword.
He furrowed his brow. He just couldn’t understand why she would still fear him. But it was breaking his heart. He truly liked her. More than he’d liked any girl before.
She was like one of the guys. He shook his head.
No, that wasn’t quite true. She was interesting like another guy. Not some silly, simpering miss. She was really smart. She was always impressing him with her knowledge. And her understanding.
But it wasn’t just her brain that attracted him. It was her heart too. She’d opened her school to improve the lives of her students. She’d even reached out to help some of the older women in their community. Jung Sook was always doing kind things for others.
But the question was…
Who took care of Jung Sook?
––
She despised lying to him. But she had learned at a very early age that keeping secrets kept her safe. And she couldn’t very well tell Soo Ho that he was getting too close to her for comfort. She’d just have to push him back. A little.
Just a little.
She didn’t want to lose him. Not completely.
She simply wanted to re-establish their former status. When a distinct line had separated her from him. Boundaries were good. He couldn’t trespass into sensitive areas of her heart. If he would merely respect the fences that she’d put up around it.
The question was…
How did she go about putting a little distance between them without losing the special something that had developed between them over the past few weeks?
––
He followed her. Quietly. Clinging to the deepening shadows. So that she wouldn’t become aware of his presence. Which apparently disturbed her.
His heart was really hurting now. He’d been having such a good time with her tonight. And he knew that she had been too. She’d finally relaxed in his presence over the last couple of weeks. Her laughter flowed more easily. And she teased him often. And tonight, she had admitted that he’d become her best friend.
Right before she’d shut down. And closed him out. And lied to him.
He winced. How could he convince her that he really was in her corner? That he had her best interests at heart? And that he never wanted to hurt her?
He sighed. He really felt unsure. He didn’t understand girls. Not really. He had no idea how to reach his new friend. But he really wanted to figure it out.
He followed her all the way home. Just to ensure that she arrived safely. Then, his head bent, he shuffled back to the hwarang house. Forlorn.
I think it is time for him to find out about her past, otherwise he will never have a true chance to understand her