The Innocent – Chapter 8: Never Again

He was waiting for her.  The next morning.  In front of his wall.  The one he kept propped up every day with his own back.  She laughed as that fanciful thought caught her imagination on fire.

For a moment, she saw him dressed in his finest hwarang robes as he held the walls of the city up under his own strength.  And they bent when he moved away from them.  But when he returned to them, they stood tall and strong once more. 

She shook her head.  Soo Ho was hardly a romantic figure.  What on earth had happened to the inner workings of her mind that she had seen him as such for even a millisecond?

She must toss all such absurd notions into the dustbin.  Soo Ho was a ridiculous boy. 

Who had staunchly defended their queen.  And mourned her loss.  He’d also bravely come to Jung Sook’s own rescue when that vagabond had attacked her.  Then that ridiculous boy had insisted on being her bodyguard and seeing her safely to school.  Still, she didn’t want to admit that she had felt even a momentary bit of relief because of his presence those two days.  She was not accustomed to counting on others.  Especially not on a man.  Or a boy.

And she had no wish to become acclimated to such a thing.

Yet she greeted him cheerfully enough as she began to walk past him.  A moment later, he fell into step beside her.

“You didn’t think you were going to walk to school today without me, did you?” he queried in disbelief.

She sighed.  “You really don’t have to follow me every day.  I’ve been walking this route for a year and a half.  I’ve been attacked exactly once.”

“Ah, but I’m the one who stopped that attack.  If I don’t follow you, who will stop the next one?”

“Who’s to say there will be a next one?  You dealt with the culprit, did you not?”

“Yes.  But, surely, he’s not the only vagabond waiting to accost an unsuspecting lady.”

She grunted.

“But…I have a suggestion that might help.  And it would increase your independence too.”

Curious, she glanced his way.  “What’s that?”

“I could give you self-defense lessons.”

She stopped walking to stare at him.  “Self-defense lessons?”

“Yes.  Martial arts.  I could teach you how to disable a man with only your thumb.”

“Really?” She arched two less-than-delicate eyebrows at him.  “Wouldn’t you be afraid that someday I might use my knowledge against you?”

“Against me?”  He scoffed.  “Never.”  He sniffed, but then his face grew serious.  “You will never have any reason to fear me.”  He spoke softly, without bravado.  Very unusual for him.

She glanced sharply at him.  Had he figured out that she feared men?

“That is a kind offer,” she inhaled deeply, “but I think that I would make a very poor student.”

“But you’re an excellent teacher.  How could you make a poor student?”

She smiled.  Amused.  “Haven’t you heard that the best teachers make the worst students?”

“I rather think that is a wrong supposition.  It seems to me that the best teachers must have also been the best students.”

“Mmm.  Sometimes, that is true.”

“Were you truly a poor student?” he asked curiously.

She shook her head.  “No.  I was most thankful for my education.  So I studied hard.”

“Were you really?  Why?”  His dark eyes probed her countenance.

“I never expected such a wonderful opportunity.”

“How did you come by it?”

“The lady who lived next door to us took pity on me.”

Confused, he furrowed his brow.  “What do you mean?  Why did she take pity on you?”

She didn’t want to answer that question.  So she skipped over it.  “She was a powerful woman.  She’d been married to one of the leaders of the royal council.  He died when she was quite young.  But she maintained a respected place in society.  And he’d left her quite wealthy.  So she was free. 

“She never remarried.  When I was but a child – ten years old – she saw me digging in the garden behind our house.  And she offered me a book.  I thanked her but told her that I could not read so that book was of no use to me.”

Jung Sook recalled that day as though it were yesterday….

––

Lady Ae Ji had eyed the tiny girl.  She was quite small for her age.  She appeared to be no older than six years old.  It was her apparent youth coupled with the yellowing bruises on her arms that drew the woman’s attention.  The lady had heard the girl’s father raising his voice more than once.  Quite often, in fact.  Too often.

Ae Ji had watched the tiny child digging in the garden behind her house for several days before she’d approached her.  She had never seen a smile appear on that little brow.  The girl was too serious by half.  She needed something to lift her out of the hole into which she had clearly been born.  Ae Ji suspected that the little sweetheart had borne the brunt of her appa’s anger more than once.  Her suspicions seemed to be proven correct that very first time that she’d approached the girl.  Only to discover the man’s fingerprints had bled themselves into her skin.

Lady Ae Ji had been filled with rage then.  That a man could so abuse his own child.  Flesh of his flesh.  But clearly, the man had no heart if he could raise his hand to such a sweet child.  He had bruised that precious flesh. 

Ae Ji’s heart had broken the first time she’d spoken to the child and found her so sheepish.  The little girl wouldn’t look her in the eye.  She’d kept her eyes on her toes throughout their discussion.  She was polite despite being painfully shy.

The woman’s heart had been instantly won over by the tiny mite.  So she had been quick to take the child under her wing.  Marching up to the house and demanding an audience with the girl’s mother.  Offering to mentor Jung Sook and to train her up in all the ways of nobility.  That night, Lady Ae Ji had used all her powers of persuasion to convince that selfish man that his daughter would be more likely to marry well if she first received an education from a lady of nobility.

So it was that the girl found her coming days filled with trips to Lady Ae Ji’s home to study ancient texts as she learned to read and write.  Lady Ae Ji also taught her how to complete her sums and how to embroider.  No one could embroider cherry blossoms on a robe as beautifully as Lady Ae Ji did.  But Jung Sook was a close second. 

The woman had also given her extensive lessons in running a household.  From the washing of clothing to the baking of rice cakes.  Lady Ae Ji had possessed an impeccable taste for the most excellent foods and shared them all with Jung Sook.  She’d taught her how to prepare many of them too.  And passed all her recipes down to the little girl.

Her mentor had explained that in order to rule well one must understand how everything worked from bottom to top.  No corner of her education had been overlooked.  Jung Sook had learned it all.  She had become an avid reader.  A prolific writer.  A master of sums.  A brilliant baker.  But most of all, Lady Ae Ji had sown compassion and kindness in her soul, creating within Jung Sook a heart to help others.  Lady Ae Ji had been the inspiration behind Jung Sook’s desire to open a school to educate girls.  To prepare them for life.  As Lady Ae Ji had prepared her.

––

Lady Ae Ji had given Jung Sook many marvelous gifts.  Her expertise.  Her time.  Her energy.  The ability to read, and write, and calculate, and reason.  And bake.  But the thing Jung Sook had been most grateful for was that the grand lady had delivered her from so many beatings that never took place because Jung Sook was occupied elsewhere when her father was home.  She cringed now as she recalled the ones from which the kind woman had been unable to save her.

Soo Ho stared at Jung Sook.  “So, she taught you to read?”

“She taught me everything I know,” she whispered reverently.

He smiled at her.  “What a kind woman.”

“She was.”  Her smile faltered.

He studied her face curiously.  “She died?” he asked softly.

She glanced up sharply at him.  “Oh, no!  She didn’t die.”  Her face fell.  “But she moved away the year before I married.  Her sister’s husband died, and she traveled back to her hometown to live with her.  I haven’t seen her since.”

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

His unexpected words tugged on her heart again.  “So am I,” she murmured.  “She was the one person in my life whom I really loved.  Besides my mother and sisters.”

“How many sisters do you have?”

“Seven.”

His eyebrows flew up to challenge a bird flying overhead.  “Seven?  Have you any brothers?”

She shook her head.

“Wow.  Eight girls!  Your mother must have had her hands full!”

She smiled.  “I wouldn’t know.  I’m the youngest.  Most of them married before I was very old.”

“Truly?” he queried in surprise.

“Truly,” she nodded.  “I really only remember two of them.  The others were all gone by the time I was ten years old.”

He furrowed his brow.  “They don’t live here?”

“One does.  But the others moved away,” she mumbled sadly.

He frowned.  “I have only one sister.  And she still lives with my parents.  She’s sixteen now.”

“The one your friend loves?”

“Yes.”  His frown deepened.  “But she cannot marry him.”

“Why not?” 

Her tender heart dipped to imagine that the lovers would be denied their hearts’ desire.  She really needed to know that somebody found happiness in the realm of romance.  Even if her own life had been denied such bliss.

“Because his father is in disgrace now.  Over his support of Minister Park.”

She gasped.  “I heard he’s facing execution in a couple of weeks.”

He nodded.  “Yes.  For his attempts to overthrow the king.  The man deserves everything that is coming to him.”  His eyes burned with a holy rage.

She stopped and turned to stare up at him.  “What aren’t you telling me?”  When he didn’t respond, she continued, “Your hatred of the man is palpable.  And it feels very personal.”

“He’s the one who arranged for the queen to be poisoned.  Slowly.  Over many years.  She suffered a long time.  But didn’t realize what was happening to her until it was too late.”

She studied his face.  “You cared about her.”

He was silent for a few moments as her gaze delved the depths of his.  Finally, he admitted soberly, “Very much.”

Her brow puckered.  “So now your sister is to be denied her heart’s desire because the man she loves was born to a man who supported a traitor?”

He nodded.

“Does Ban Ryu support such treachery?”

“No,” he blew out a deep breath.  “Not now.”

“Not now?  Did he once then?”

“I think that he once did that evil man’s bidding because he was terrified of him.”

“But now Ban Ryu supports the king?”

“Unequivocally.”

“Then he should be judged on his own merits.  And not on his father’s.”

“Ah.  I see that you are an idealist.  Unfortunately, my father is not.  He will never countenance a match between them.”

She sighed.  “Not under any circumstances?”

He shook his head.  “I fail to imagine any circumstances whatsoever that would cause him to favor Ban Ryu’s suit.”

“What if your father took the young man under his own wing?  And taught him his own philosophies?”

Soo Ho barked with laughter suddenly.  “What a world you live in!”

“I realize that it is all in my own head.  Books have been my escape since Lady Ae Ji taught me to read.  Once I’d read all the scrolls she possessed, I began to write my own stories.  Just for my own amusement.  None of them were ever very good.  But I did build beautiful worlds where right and good always triumphed.  And evil was defeated.  Were I to write your sister’s story, your father would take pity on the boy and tutor him.”

“But Ban Ryu is far too old for that.  And he is a hwarang.  He has the responsibilities of a man.”

She frowned.  “Still, your father could hold sway with him.  And I fail to understand the problem.  If he is a hwarang, then he clearly doesn’t just favor the king but is also sworn to protect him.  Even to lay down his life for him.  Wouldn’t this please your father?  If his daughter could marry one of the king’s own elite soldiers?”

He sighed.  “It should.  But the rivalry between our households is ancient.  Going back generations.  I doubt very much that Ban Ryu could overcome it to find favor in my father’s eyes.”

She shook her head.  “That is truly sad.”

“No sadder than your own life, I think.”

She stiffened instantly.

He glanced at her curiously as he felt the tension now gripping her body.  “Do you miss him terribly?”

“Who?” she asked, but she knew.  She was just putting off the inevitable.

“Your husband.”

She shuddered, and Soo Ho didn’t miss that tremor.  “No,” she whispered, “I do not.”

He frowned.  “It was an arranged marriage?”

“Yes.”

“How old were you?  Sixteen?”

She nodded.

“And he?”

“Forty.”

He recoiled.  He knew such marriages were common enough.  But he could understand why a young girl wouldn’t want to marry such an old man.

“You found him to be too old for you?” he asked carelessly.

“Had he been kind to me, I wouldn’t have minded his age.”

He frowned.  Deeply.  “He was unkind to you then?”

She didn’t respond.

“Are you hoping to marry a much younger man next time?”

“There won’t be a next time.”  Her words were flat.  And final.

He gaped at her.  “But you’re so young!  And don’t you want children?”

She felt that old grief gripping her heart.  “No,” she lied.

Not if they’d be born into the same prison that had housed her until the day her husband had fallen from a horse and never risen again.

This Post Has One Comment

  1. Lucia

    He will get the truth out of her slowly if he will perseve… He is smart and loving ma he would be a good remedy

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