He clung to her. And cried like a baby. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and wept out every bitter tear that he had held in for twelve long – and excruciatingly painful – months.
It wasn’t that he didn’t try to stop. He did. But once that dam burst, it was impossible to stop the flow of those ceaseless waters. His sorrow over his brother’s loss had continued to grow over the intervening weeks and months since his death. It was, perhaps, the guilt that was eating him alive. It certainly made the grief heavier to bear.
Dan Se had watched several of his friends fall in love and marry since Han Sung had died. Their lives were moving forward. As his own seemed to stagnate. And as his brother’s seemed to be forgotten by all but him. Even that bitter, old man whom he’d called Grandfather had outlived his brother by several months. After threatening to drink poison if Dan Se failed in his quest to remove the king’s head and turn it over to Minister Park.
The king was alive and prospering. As was Seon Woo. Thank God. At least, Dan Se had only one death on his conscience. Still, it hurt to watch everyone else finding some semblance of happiness while his brother’s body rotted in a cold grave.
Life seemed pointless now. Except for the duties which he had acquired as a hwarang. Ironically, he was giving his life to protecting the very king whom his grandfather had sought to kill. Dan Se had never been a threat to the true king. His grandfather’s machinations had all been plotted against the wrong man. An innocent man who had acquired the title of king only to save a guileless girl from a vicious tyrant.
Soon after Dan Se had attempted to kill Seon Woo, the real Jin Heung had unveiled himself and ascended his throne. Throwing Minister Park’s plans into chaos. The players had all quickly chosen sides. And Dan Se had easily found himself siding with the other hwarang and Seon Woo to support Jin Heung in his quest to rule Silla. He was, after all, the rightful king. And a good man. With a genuine love for his subjects. And a burning desire to rid the world of the bone rank system.
Dan Se had acquired a massive amount of respect for both the king and his cousin. And for his fellow hwarang. As one force, they had all chosen to stand against the injustice and selfishness for which many of their elders had become known. His generation was tired of the abuse of power. It was time that someone with a good heart ruled over their land. The hwarang had found that someone in Jin Heung, a man raised – most of his life anyway – among his subjects. Instead of in a palace.
Their king understood suffering. He possessed a compassionate heart. And a desire to make life better for all of his countrymen. Not just for a titled few.
Jin Heung had never disrespected Dan Se just because he was a true bone. And not a sacred bone. The king would never treat him like he was half a man. He had, in fact, elevated Dan Se to serve as one of the princess’s personal bodyguards. He had traveled to Goguryeo twice with Sook Myeong. And helped to save the lives of two of the king’s close friends. Dan Se had found only favor with Jin Heung.
But, truly, with the loss of Han Sung, all of this seemed to matter so little. Dan Se would gladly put his life on the line to protect the king and the princess any time that he was called upon to do so. He had nothing else for which to live. And if he died, no one – least of all him – would care. He had only carried on living as a tribute to his brother.
Han Sung had been so fearless in the end – defending Seon Woo from his brother’s sword and challenging their grandfather in a letter. He’d even defended Dan Se in that missive. How could Dan Se now show less courage than his younger brother had?
So…for Han Sung, Dan Se continued to live.
But it was really less than half a life.
A sad, cold, lonely life. One that even he did not want.
So why was he trying to drag a young woman into his misery now too?
Poor beautiful man. He doesn’t recognise his own strength nor the beauty of his character