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“How is Seon Woo?” she asked him as they began to eat.

Dan Se glanced up at her after shoving a bite of rice into his mouth.  He nodded his head.  “He’s all right.” 

He frowned.  “I just wish we knew why he suffers from these spells.  They seem to be getting worse.  I’m a little concerned about him continuing as a soldier when he can’t predict these things.  He was really blessed not to suffer a worse injury today.”  He sighed in relief, completely understanding the guilt that Ban Ryu had been spared.

She furrowed her adorable brow.  And he wanted to reach out and smooth those wrinkles with his thumb. 

“The doctor doesn’t even have a clue what’s causing them?”

He shook his head.  “Neither her nor her father.”  He used his chopsticks to grasp a piece of meat before holding it out towards her.  “This is your favorite, right?”

She glanced down at it.  Surprise lighting up her features.  “How did you know that?”

“It’s what you always chose at dinners with our fathers.”

She gasped inwardly as her eyes connected with his.  Dan Se had noticed the food which she preferred?

“What’s my favorite color?” she quizzed him.

“Green.”

Her eyes widened.  He was correct.

“What’s my favorite…?”  But she couldn’t think of anything more to ask him.

“Your favorite animal is a butterfly.  Just like Han Sung.”

She frowned.  “Are butterflies animals?”

He shrugged.  “You know what I mean.  I know you’re also partial to bunnies.”

She giggled.  It was true.  She’d always loved the fluffy creatures.

He laughed suddenly.  “Do you remember the day that Han Sung disturbed a whole nest of baby bunnies?  You two ran in opposite directions trying to catch them.”

He smiled as he remembered how her hair had flown behind her and her face had lit up with wonder as she’d chased the smallest bunny.  Her cheeks had flooded with bright color too.  But it was her dancing eyes that he remembered most.  That and her disappointment when even the tiniest rabbit had evaded her grasp.  But all of those little creatures had been too fast for her and Han Sung both.  His brother had returned pouting because he’d failed in his furry quest.

She stared up at him in wonder.  “You remember that?” she breathed in awe.

“Of course.  I remember all the times you came to visit.”

“You do?”

“Mm-hmm.”  He nodded and grinned at her before cramming a segment of green onion into his mouth.  It was quickly followed by some rice and meat.

She stopped eating to study his countenance.  “You are a complete mystery to me, Dan Se,” she admitted in a whisper.

He stopped chewing to catch her gaze.  “Me?” he asked, floored.  “I’m not so hard to understand.  In fact, I imagine I’m pretty simple.”

Honor had always been his motivating factor.  And love.  Though, if he were honest, he would have to admit that fear had also strongly controlled him as a child and as a young man.  Fear of losing Han Sung had led him to make the very worst choice of his life.  The one that had led to him losing his little brother.

“You have always seemed so cold to me,” she murmured suddenly.  “But…now I can see that it was always just a frozen mask that you pulled over yourself to keep your true motives hidden.  You had to disavow your emotions to stay safe from your grandfather’s frigid treatment of you, didn’t you?”

He peeked up at her for a moment before chewing on his lip.  His eyes slid away from hers. 

“You can be honest with me, you know.  I’m not going to tell anyone else.  And…your grandfather is dead.  You are safe from him now.”

“Am I?” he muttered instantly, his eyes flying to catch hers again.  A bitter fire burning in his gaze.  “Will I ever be truly rid of him and his expectations?  They have, after all, defined my entire life.  And led to the worst decision I ever made.  One that I – no matter how much I regret it – can never take back.”

He tossed his chopsticks down and stood up.  “I’m going to stretch my legs.” 

He left the room.  Abruptly.  And he didn’t return that night.  Though Mi Sook waited until quite late for him to come back to her.  Finally, a half hour before midnight, saddened, she lay down in that big bed alone.  And cried herself to sleep.  She missed him so much.  And her back was aching fiercely now.  But she had no Dan Se to spread the cream on her tender flesh.

––

He returned at midnight.  Slightly drunk. 

It was stupid.  He never drank to excess.  But his heart had been hurting over Han Sung again.  So he had headed to the tavern.  And drunk enough for himself and his brother both.  And then some.

It was only as he made his weaving way home that he remembered that Mi Sook must have had need of his healing hands tonight.  And he hadn’t been there for her. 

He cursed himself and began to run home.  But he was too late.

When he burst through her bedroom door, he found her fast asleep.

And determined not to leave her tonight.

When she awoke in pain, he would be there to tend to her wounds.  He wasn’t going to miss another opportunity to show her how much he loved her.

He slept soundly for four hours.  But before dawn could even break, he heard her grunt as she rolled over in her sleep.  Then she moaned as she flopped back onto her stomach.  His eyes flew open. 

“Mi Sook?  Is it your back?  Do you need some cream?”

Instantly, she stilled and came fully awake.  Dan Se was in bed with her?

“Dan Se?”

“Mm.”

“You slept in this bed with me?”

A moment of silence.  Then a heavy sigh.  “I am sorry if that offends you.  You were asleep when I arrived, and I realized that I never treated your back and that you might awake in pain.  And need me…so I…I stayed here.  Next to you.”

Her heart turned over.  Then her anger flared.  “Where were you last night?!  I waited up for you, but you never came home.”

And she’d been in such misery.  Her back aching something awful.  And her heart too.  Worried over this infuriating man.

“I’m sorry.  I…I didn’t realize that you would be worried.  I…went to the tavern.”

She turned towards him then and inched closer to him.  When her face was a mere two inches from his, she inhaled. 

“Ugh!  I can smell the spirits on you!”

She abhorred that smell.  The worst beating which she’d ever received as a small child had happened when her father had lost control of himself and drunk himself into a stupor.  Something he seldom did.  But before the stupor, she had stumbled upon him in his study.  And lived to regret it.

“Up!  Out of my bed!” Mi Sook hollered in his face.  “I detest spirits!  Don’t come back until you’ve left that smell behind.  And if you make drinking a habit, please…stay away from me.”

Her voice broke on the last word, and he glanced sharply in her direction.

“Can’t I rub some cream on your back first?” he queried in concern.

“No.  I’m fine.”  She rolled away from him and bit back the groan that bubbled up.

He leapt from her bed and strode towards the door to the adjoining room.  He stopped before he opened it.  “Mi Sook, I beg your pardon.  I am truly sorry.”

Then he was gone, striding through the doorway into his old room.  A room that seemed quite cold and very lonely tonight.  How odd.  Before he’d married Mi Sook, he had never found this room lonely.  But she had changed that.  She had changed a lot of things. 

And now he knew that by drowning his sorrows in strong drink, he had let her down.  The problem was…he wasn’t sure how to make things right again.

He flopped down on the bed.  But his conscience would not allow him to sleep.  He got up and went in search of a maid.  Giving her some simple instructions.  Perhaps that’s what he should have done to begin with.

––

Was Mi Sook just going to continue to live the same nightmare over and over for the rest of her life?  Would she never outrun the echoes of her childhood?

Childhood?

Those echoes were still quite tangible in her body tonight.  They were, in fact, the reason that she could not sleep now.  Every muscle from her neck to her heels seemed to hurt.  And there would be no relief.  She had kicked Dan Se out.  Before he could minister to her back.  It had been foolish perhaps.  But even now, she shuddered as she recalled the stink of his breath.  If she never smelled that stench again, it would be too soon.

A knock sounded on her outer door.  Who on earth would be knocking on that door before daybreak?

“Who’s there?” she muttered.

The door opened fractionally.  “Ma’am?  Your husband asked me to attend to your back.”

“Oh, he did, did he?  Well, you can tell him that I’m just fine.  I do not require your assistance,” she bit the words out.  Nastily.

“Yes, ma’am,” the girl bowed to her before turning towards the door.  She fled a moment later.

––

Dan Se stared at the door separating their rooms.  The maid had returned to report his wife’s refusal of her help.  The stubborn woman was going to suffer all night long now.  And that knowledge was eating at him.  If he hadn’t been sure that she’d toss him out on his ear, he would have returned to her room and forced her to accept his own help.

He sighed heavily.  He couldn’t do it.  He had to leave her alone to stew in her own juices.  But he despised it.  He fell back onto his bed and buried his face in his pillow.  And prayed that this blasted headache would be gone when he awoke.

But it wasn’t.  However, he realized that he wasn’t without a plan.  So he called for a servant, penned a quick note, and sent it with the man.

He could think of one person who would be willing to help his wife.  Someone whom she couldn’t refuse.