She slept fitfully and awoke a couple hours after dawn. Miserable. She lay in her bed on her side. And her gaze wandered the room until it fell on the silk canvas which she’d spent yesterday afternoon painting.
Suddenly, the events of the day rolled over her again. And she realized that hearing that Seon Woo had been run through by a sword must have triggered all sorts of horrendous memories in Dan Se’s mind. Then he had spent the entire afternoon waiting for his friend to awake. Probably terrified that he wouldn’t. Was it really that extraordinary that the man had drowned those sorrowful fears in drink?
The problem was that she could not be married to a man who would do such things. No, it was more than that. She couldn’t be in love with a man who used his pain as an excuse to drink. If there was one thing that Mi Sook knew about herself, it was that she couldn’t go down that road. Nor could she expose an innocent child to a father like that.
Which really wasn’t a problem, now was it? Dan Se had already admitted that he had no desire for children. And she had no knowledge of how to prevent such a precious life from entering her womb should she ever become intimate with her husband. So she was left with only one option. To push him as far away from her as possible.
But as her gaze slid over that forest of pines, tears began to flood her eyes. Because that painting was a perfect representation of what Dan Se had come to mean to her in the last few days. A sweet-smelling refuge. However, last night had greatly disturbed that image.
Still, it lingered.
She closed her eyes and inhaled. And this time her memory supplied the scent. Pure pine. Crisp, clean, and refreshing. Dan Se had been those things to her. Entering her life to rescue her from her father. And when he had failed the first time, he returned. This time, to punish her father for touching her.
She also recalled the times that Dan Se had spent slathering the healing balm on her bruised back. And making sure that she ate. And reminiscing over his brother with her. She might not know him well, but she was fairly certain that Dan Se was a truly good man. He surely had a conscience and a heart.
And he loved her. Didn’t he?
A knock sounded, interrupting her reverie.
She reached up hurriedly to wipe away the tears that had slipped down her cheeks. “Yes?”
A strong, feminine voice sounded. “Mi Sook? It’s me. Jung Sook. May I come in?”
How did the woman always arrive when she needed her?
“Yes. Please. Come in.”
Jung Sook took one look at her friend and shut the door. “When’s the last time anyone put cream on your back?”
Mi Sook cringed. Her friend had caught her. “Um. It was a few hours ago.”
“Liar. It was early yesterday, wasn’t it?”
The older girl sighed. “How did you know?”
“Does it matter? Roll over. Let me help you.”
Mi Sook did as she was bid. But as her friend slathered the cream on her aching back, she suddenly experienced an epiphany. “Jung Sook, how do you always know when to appear? You have this eerie ability to arrive just when I need you most.”
“Hmm…how do you suppose that’s possible?” the young teacher queried.
Mi Sook gasped. “You mean?”
But Jung Sook knew when to hold her tongue.
“Dan Se sent for you?”
Jung Sook grunted.
Mi Sook glanced back over her shoulder at her friend. “Did he? Every time?”
Jung Sook smiled. “You truly have no idea how much that man adores you, do you?”
Feeling uneasy now, Mi Sook dropped her head forward, smashing her face into the mattress. And she groaned. Loudly.
Jung Sook gasped. “Did I hurt you? Oh! I’m so sorry! I thought I was being so gentle.”
“You are,” a voice spoke into that mattress. “I don’t know what to do about Dan Se.”
“I fail to see what the problem is. The man adores you. He pampers you. He protects you. He enlists friends to come to your aid when you won’t allow him to. What’s not to love?”
“He returned drunk last night. After hours with no word from him.”
Jung Sook frowned. She had no more liking for drunk men than did Mi Sook.
“Did he hurt you?” she whispered.
“What?” Mi Sook responded, surprised. “No.” She drew that one syllable out like it were five.
Then she heaved a deep sigh. “He came home…I don’t know when. And climbed into my bed. When I awoke in pain – early in the morning – he asked if he could put the cream on my back. But when I rolled towards him, I smelled the alcohol on his breath, and I…” Her voice trailed off.
Jung Sook furrowed her brow. “You…what?”
“I snapped, and I kicked him out of my room.”
“Without letting him help you,” Jung Sook sighed.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Why?”
“Hmm. Why? Have you never smelled liquor on a man’s breath before?”
Mi Sook shuddered. And her friend recognized that reaction.
“It is precisely because I have smelled liquor on a man’s breath before that I made him leave. I detest that stench. And everything that accompanies it.”
“Not all men are the same, Mi Sook,” Jung Sook spoke quietly after a few moments of reflective silence.
She gave her words time to sink in before she continued, “Have you found any true similarities between Dan Se’s character and your father’s?”
Mi Sook groaned, disturbing that mattress again. But she gave her friend’s question honest consideration for several quiet moments.
Finally, she admitted, “No.”
Jung Sook didn’t respond.
“But…he keeps reminding me of him anyway.”
“Is that Dan Se’s fault?”
“What…? No…Ugh! It doesn’t matter anyway. Dan Se doesn’t want a wife. Or children.” Her voice cracked on the last word.
“What?” Jung Sook glanced sharply at her friend. “What’s this? What do you mean? He already has a wife. And children are a natural consequence of marriage. What man doesn’t want a son to carry on his family line?”
“He doesn’t care about any of that. Han Sung was the legitimate heir. The only sacred bone.”
“Oh, poppycock! That is utter nonsense.”
“It might be, but it is the world into which we were born.”
Jung Sook sighed heavily. “It’s true. But the king is working to change that. As are good men like my husband, Ban Ryu, and Seon Woo.”
“The world doesn’t change overnight, Jung Sook. And I’m not sure that – even if it did – Dan Se would ever want children.”
Her friend shook her head. “It just doesn’t make sense. I think he’s just brokenhearted still over his brother’s death. I don’t think he ever processed it. Once he does – and once he feels secure in your affections – surely those feelings will change. I think Dan Se would make an excellent father.”
So did Mi Sook. Except…
“So you don’t think the liquor could become a problem? What if he is in the habit of drowning his sorrows in strong drink? I couldn’t live with him. Not even if he isn’t violent under its influence.” She shuddered again.
“Why don’t you ask him?”
“What?” Mi Sook peered over her shoulder at her friend.
“Ask him if he drinks to excess often. And if he does, how he feels about getting drunk. I doubt very much that he will lie to you. He is a man who lives by his honor.”
Mi Sook sighed. “Why am I such a coward?” she moaned suddenly.
Jung Sook’s eyebrows hit the ceiling. “What are you talking about?”
“I don’t want to confront Dan Se.”
“Well, one of you needs to do it. You can’t go on like this.” Jung Sook set the cream on the side table and glanced around the room.
Then she gasped. “Mi Sook,” she breathed, “did you paint that forest?”
Her grumpy friend nodded.
“It’s stunning! You have a true gift! Can I see any of your sketches?”
“They’re under the easel.”
Jung Sook crossed the room and bent to retrieve one of the scrolls. She unrolled it and stared in awe at the other woman’s handiwork. “Mi Sook, you’re amazing!”
“Eh. They’re all right. I definitely need to practice.”
“No, you don’t. I mean, if you do, you’re going to quickly become phenomenal.”
Jung Sook glanced at the pile of scrolls on the floor. “Do you have enough parchment to keep you busy? This is a great way for you to pass the time. I bet Bo A would love it if you created some illustrations for her stories,” she hypothesized.
“What?” Wrinkling her brow, Mi Sook put her shirt back on and turned to face her friend. “What are you talking about?”
“My little Bo A loves to write stories. They’re amazing, fanciful pieces of wonder. And illustrations would make them all the more beautiful. They would be a great gift to give her. If I brought you one of her stories, would you consider sketching some pictures to go with it?”
Mi Sook’s heart leapt. “I would love to! Are her stories really that wonderful?”
Jung Sook nodded. “She has a great gift too. What a pair you would be!”
“Please, bring me a story. I’ll get to work on the illustrations right away!”
Jung Sook smiled as she sensed her friend’s mood improving. “I will. Maybe tomorrow. I’ll have her work on writing one of them out on some parchment. I’ll encourage her to leave one side blank. Then you can sketch your illustrations across from her words.”
“Perfect.”
“Mi Sook?”
“Hmm?” She smiled at her good friend.
“Will you promise me that you will, at least, consider speaking to Dan Se today?”
Mi Sook narrowed her eyes at Jung Sook. “Did he put you up to this? Is that why you came today? To advocate for him?”
The teacher shook her head. Vociferously. “No. This morning a note was delivered to me at school. Dan Se told me that he had made a very stupid decision last night that had caused you a great deal of grief, and that because of it, you weren’t talking to him. He wrote that he couldn’t blame you for that, but that he was worried about your back. That you wouldn’t let him or your maid apply the cream to your back. He asked me to come visit you because he believed you would let me apply it.”
Mi Sook frowned. “Truly? That’s all he said? He didn’t ask you to convince me to give him another chance?”
“No. There was not one word of self-pity in his note. His only concern was for you.”
Dan Se’s wife sighed. “I will consider it.”
Jung Sook grinned at her. “Good girl. Shall I return this evening to soothe your back again?”
Mi Sook eyed her. “Don’t you have a husband to go home to?”
“Of course. But I can’t tolerate the thought that you won’t sleep well tonight.” She paused for a moment. “Mi Sook, why won’t you let the maid help you?”
But her friend remained silent.
“Are you afraid to let her see your bruises?”
Still, Mi Sook didn’t speak.
Jung Sook crossed the room to perch on the edge of the bed. She reached out and touched Mi Sook lightly on the arm. Her friend had buried her face in the mattress again.
“Your father’s treatment of you wasn’t your fault. Do you realize that? There is no shame for you in those bruises. All the fault lies squarely in his lap. He didn’t even have the right to touch you. Not any legal right anymore. And, certainly, no moral right.”
After a few moments of silence, she spoke up again, “Mi Sook, you are precious. And no one should feel like he has the right to beat you. You deserve to be treated kindly.”
“Do I? Even after the way I treated Dan Se?”
“What?” Jung Sook frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“Remember? A week before we married, I accused Dan Se of murdering his brother.” She heard her friend inhale sharply before she continued, “My father had promised to beat me within an inch of my life if I said anything to him about my suspicions. Somehow, he discovered that I’d carelessly tossed those words at Dan Se. He beat me black and blue. And promised he’d do it again if I ever thwarted my husband. And God knows that I have thwarted Dan Se left and right.”
“That is still no excuse to beat you.”
Mi Sook sighed. “Maybe not. But…Dan Se deserves better than me.”
Jung Sook crumpled her brow in consternation. “No. He does not. I think that you both deserve each other. I think that you were made for each other. He needs someone to prod him into confronting and dealing with his past. And so do you, my dear. And no one could do a better job than a man who loves you.”
“Why would Dan Se love me?” Mi Sook queried in a tiny voice.
“Because you, my dear, are quite lovable!” Jung Sook patted her on the top of her head like she was a wee girl. “I shall come visit you again. Now I must be off. Time to rescue my girls from my mother-in-law.”
She glanced down at her friend. “Will you be all right?” she asked softly.
Mi Sook pushed herself up and climbed off the bed to face the other woman. “I will. I’m going to occupy myself sketching.”
Jung Sook smiled. “Very good. Have a splendid time.”
A moment later, she floated through the doorway. Leaving Mi Sook alone.
As a child, Mi Sook had longed to be left alone. But now that she had a friend, she found herself sad to lose her presence. Still, she stirred herself into action. Thanks to Dan Se, it was time to draw.
Thank gods for friends