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As Dan Se walked home that evening, he recalled two encounters which he’d experienced after relieving Yeo Wool of his hwarang duty earlier in the day….

––

“Why have you returned, my friend?” Soo Ho asked that afternoon as he parried Dan Se’s blow.  “I thought you were to spend the next month making your wife happy.”

“That, I have discovered, is an impossible task.  At least, for me.”

Soo Ho eyed him.  “But, I mean, have you really tried?  You’ve spent – what? – three days in her company?  That hardly seems a sufficient amount of time to determine anything.”

“No, quite to the contrary.  I have clearly determined that she despises me.”

“No,” Soo Ho breathed, “the girl doesn’t hate you.”

“How can you be so sure?” Dan Se quizzed his friend.

“Because she talks to my wife.  And my wife talks to me.  Mi Sook doesn’t hate you, Dan Se.”

“I didn’t say she hates me.  I said she despises me.”

“And what, pray tell, is the difference?”

“Hatred implies more feeling.  Despising involves a cold contempt.”

“Oh, come off it, Dan Se!  Have you truly given the girl a chance to get to know you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You aren’t exactly an open book.  I mean, I’ve known you for a long time, but I would never claim to know you well.”

Dan Se stared at him.

“You hardly ever talk.”

“I’m talking right now.”

“Only because I’m goading you into it.  And I do think the girl is having some effect on you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you hardly ever spoke before, but since Mi Sook has come into your life – or, at least, into your household – you have come out of your shell a bit.”

“What am I, a turtle?”

“Mm,” Soo Ho nodded.  “I do think so.”  He grinned suddenly.  “But even turtles have to mate, my friend.”

Dan Se grumbled at him.  “No, they don’t.  This turtle is better off alone.”

“Is he?  Truly?”  Soo Ho frowned.  “Is that what Han Sung would have wanted for you?”

“Blast it!” Dan Se ejaculated.  “Why does everyone keep asking me that?!  My brother is dead and buried!  What he wants is of no consequence!  What he would have wanted was to be here himself!”

“And to have married the girl you married?” Soo Ho queried in an oddly soft tone.

Dan Se tossed his sword on the ground.  “I’ve had enough practice!” he announced and stomped off.

Ban Ryu and his partner stopped fencing.  Soo Ho’s best friend glanced at him.  “What was that about?”

Soo Ho shrugged at Ban Ryu.  “Just trying to get that guy to wake up.”

“Hey, I think you need to go a little easier on him.  He’s carrying a heavy load,” Ban Ryu murmured as he watched Dan Se’s departing back.  Then he glanced at Soo Ho before looking at his partner.  “You two practice.”

Then, he too walked off.

And a few moments later, Ban Ryu found Dan Se cooling his heels under a tree.  Dan Se glanced up at him.

“Have you also come to tell me that Han Sung would want me to live a good life?”

Ban Ryu studied him silently for a few moments.  Finally, he took a deep breath.  “I would never presume to speak for your brother.  Or for anyone who has died unjustly.”  He swallowed as the echoes continued to surround him.  “I…I know what it’s like to live with a guilt that eats away at you.  And though I didn’t know Han Sung well, and I can’t speak for him, I do doubt that he would want you to carry such a heavy burden.  It’s loathsome.”

Dan Se paused and stared at the sober gentleman.  He had the odd feeling that Ban Ryu did understand him.

“I can only tell you that living life without someone’s love is no life at all.  I rather suspect that you already know that.  And though a woman’s love can’t solve all your problems – or even alleviate the guilt – it does make living worthwhile.”  Ban Ryu stopped.  Then he muttered, “I’m sorry.  I’m really not good at explaining things.  I – forgive me,” then he bowed abruptly to his fellow hwarang before turning to walk away from him. 

Ban Ryu was slightly mortified.  He had said far more than he had planned to.

But Dan Se simply stared after him.  Oddly moved by the normally recalcitrant gentleman’s uncustomary overture.

––

Now as he walked home, Dan Se considered the advice that all of his friends had tried to give him today.  But the king’s words rang loudest.

“Dan Se, keep trying.  Your wife is worth your every effort.”

He believed it.  But what more could he do?  What stone had he left unturned in his pursuit of her? 

He’d brought her favorite foods to her.  He’d found her passion and supplied all that she’d need to pursue it.  He’d given her not one but two bedchambers.  And let her have her pick of them.  Even when she’d changed her mind in the middle of the night. 

He’d lovingly smeared cream all over her bruised body – though, really, that had been no sacrifice.  He longed to touch her again.  He’d even opened up to her and admitted how he’d felt about her as a very young man.  From the beginning of their relationship. 

What effort had he not put into this marriage?

But he seemed to continue to make a mess of things.  How could he force a woman who despised him to give him another chance? 

He felt this need to respect her.  To bow to her wishes.  To not control her.

She’d been controlled her whole life by an abusive tyrant.

Dan Se had no wish to ever resemble her father in any way.  So when she had told him to leave, he hadn’t felt that he had the right to stay and fight for her.  Instead, he had ditched his own desires – and his worthy plans – and left her alone.  As she had wished. 

So…what more was there?

Were he independently wealthy, he would set her up in her own house.  With bodyguards.  And he would leave her alone.

But he wasn’t a rich man.  He couldn’t afford to buy her a house of her own.  Nor could he outfit her with the protection of other men.  Which, come to think of it, would probably have made her uncomfortable anyway given her limited experience of men.

He sighed as he realized that she might be uncomfortable with Yeo Wool’s presence.  Dan Se hadn’t thought of that.  He cringed as he anticipated her coming reaction.  Now he really didn’t want to go home.

But he arrived there momentarily.  If nothing else, he needed to relieve his faithful friend.  A man who had been good enough to accept this boring assignment with alacrity.  With good humor even.  If there was one man whom he could trust to be gentle with and kind to his wife, it was Yeo Wool.

He found the man standing at attention outside her bedchamber.

“Is she still in there?” Dan Se asked with an upward tilt of his lips.

Yeo Wool nodded.  “She’s been in there all day.  Does the woman never go outside?”

“Well, she’s in a bit of pain….” Dan Se lowered his voice.

“Ah,” his friend responded in instant understanding.  “I should have realized.”  He glanced at the closed door.  “I do not envy you, my friend.  She was none too pleased to see me today.”

Dan Se blew out a deep breath.  “I was afraid of that.”

“Yeah, you’re going to have some fun tonight…if you confront her.  If I were you, I’d head straight to bed.  In another room.”

Dan Se groaned.  He was sure that he’d be sleeping alone tonight.  The only question was…would his wife throw something at him before she kicked him out of her room again?

He smiled ruefully at his friend.  “Thank you for guarding her so diligently today.”

“Do you really believe that her father would dare to trespass on your property again?”

“It’s not my property.  It’s my father’s.  And I don’t know her father well enough to answer that question.  I hope he would not.  I did everything in my ability to ensure that he does not.  But I wasn’t vigilant enough last time.  I believed she’d be safe here.  And she wasn’t.  I’m not taking any chances this time.”

“Dan Se, you’re a good man.  I hope your wife knows how wonderful you are.”

He grunted.  “I am hardly wonderful.  I have been a pain and a trial to her, I can assure you.  Hopefully, we can rub along well enough for the next month.  Before I leave for the hwarang house again.”

“You would leave her defenseless again?”

He shook his head.  “No.  I plan to discuss things with my father and work out a plan for her protection once I return to the king’s service full-time.  I cannot spend the rest of my life guarding the woman.  Not if I’m going to serve the king.  What will happen when I’m out on the road, accompanying the royal family on a trip?  Who’s to take care of Mi Sook then?”

Dan Se seemed to answer his own question.  “No.  We must find a solution before then.  If I had the funds, I would pay someone to watch over her.  But I do not.  Really, my father should be able to ensure her safety from now on.  I think that horrid man just caught us all unawares that day.  Now the servants know not to allow him entrance.  And my father knows how awful he is.  He’ll have him permanently barred from the house.”

“So why am I here now?”

“So that if my father-in-law is watching, he will know how serious I am about keeping his daughter safe from him.”

Yeo Wool nodded.  “Like I said, you’re a good man, Dan Se.”

Dan Se grimaced.  “Off with you!  Have you had any supper?”

“Aye,” his lips curved into a wide grin, “a most delicious one!  I don’t know why you’d want to return to the hwarang house when you can eat here every night.  Can I tempt your cook to run away with me, do you think?” he replied jokingly.

“Ha.  Well, the woman did bury her husband last year.”

Yeo Wool frowned.

“Right after her second grandchild was born.”

Now Yeo Wool chuckled ruefully.  “She sounds a tad too old for me.  Which is really a pity.  I would be delighted to marry a woman who can cook like that.”

“Then you shouldn’t have been born a noble, my friend,” Dan Se cocked one dark eyebrow at him.

“Ah, yes.  Well, I think that is where all our trouble started, wasn’t it?” Yeo Wool asked with an ironic quirk of his lips.

Dan Se scoffed.  “Indeed.”  He smiled at his friend.  “I will see you in the morning.”

“Aye.”  Yeo Wool glanced at the door.  Doubtfully.  Before looking his way again.  “Have a good night,” he suggested humorlessly.

And Dan Se groaned.  “Yeah, I wish….”

Then he turned and headed for his room.

“Where are you going?” Yeo Wool called after him.

“Somewhere I know she won’t look for me.”

He opened the door to his bedchamber as he glanced back at his friend with a chagrinned smile on his face.  Then, eyes directed at the floor, he headed into his room and shut the door behind him. 

“You thought you’d be safe in here, did you?”

Her voice stopped him cold.  He glanced up in surprise.  To discover his wife lying on his bed.  Her feet at the head of that bed.  Her nose near the bottom.  She was sprawled on her belly.  No doubt to solace her still-bruised back.

“How could you, Dan Se?” she suddenly hurled the words at him.  “How could you get me a babysitter?  Like I’m some sort of naughty child to be kept locked up in my room?”

“Naughty child,” he retorted.  “Aren’t you, though?”  He could feel his ire rising as despair overcame him once again.

Furious, she shoved herself up off the bed and found her feet on the floor.  “Naughty child?  How dare you!”  She came towards him, clenching her fists.  “I’m a naughty child because I kicked a drunk out of my bed in the middle of the night?”

He inhaled sharply and turned away from her.  He walked across the room and moved the curtain to gaze out the window at the dying sun.  Why did it feel like someone or something in his life was always dying? 

No matter how hard he tried to protect the ones whom he loved, he was powerless to stop the tide of sorrow that seemed destined for him.

“I am sorry,” he breathed.  “I did not intend to scare you.  I wasn’t thinking of you at all.”

“Yes, well, that seems pretty evident!” she riposted.

“I never drink,” he mumbled, ignoring her salvo.

His words stopped any further attack.

Surprised, she queried, “You don’t?”

“No.”

“Then why did you last night?”

But he remained silent.  Reminding her of something that she’d meant to quiz him about for a while now.