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He was hurting. 

But he wasn’t about to admit it.

However, he leaned gratefully back against the wall that was now supporting his upper body as he sat back in the bed that had confined him for the last week.  And sighed with relief that his walking was over for the day.  But he was still disappointed that he hadn’t made it outside with the princess.

He glanced over at her worried face.  No one else could detect her concern.  But the corners of her eyes were pinched.  And the smile that he had grown to love wasn’t in evidence today.  She was clearly disturbed over the idea of pursuing that target that rested in one fine corner of their garden. 

It saddened him.  He knew that she used to find security in her bow.  And a deep solace.  And perhaps even joy.  She had certainly enjoyed shooting the night he had tutored her.  He wanted to see her take delight in the practice again.  Even if she’d never relish lifting her bow against a fellow human being.  Which, of course, she shouldn’t. 

“Sook Myeongie,” his gentle voice broke the silence between them now. 

They were alone. 

His sister was in the next room.  Eating dinner with the king. 

The prince wasn’t completely sure why Jin Heung was putting this level of trust in him – leaving him alone with the princess for a half an hour – but right now he was most thankful for it.  He knew the only way that she’d open up to him would be if she was certain that she wouldn’t be overheard.

Her eyes collided with his.  But her face remained impassive.

“What’s troubling you?”

Her frown deepened.  And the lines around her eyes turned into ruts.  She shook her head.

“It’s your bow, isn’t it?”

“What?” she asked in surprise.

“I noticed you weren’t wearing it when you came to escort me to the garden.”

“I wanted to help support you.  It would have been in the way.”

“You managed it the day you helped me through the forest.”

He watched a wave of grief pass over her face.  She didn’t like remembering that day.  Neither did he.  But he had the feeling that her reasons were not the same as his.

She shrugged.  “That’s because I had to.  I wasn’t about to leave it behind.  I wasn’t convinced the danger was passed.”

He studied her face for a few silent seconds.  “Talk to me, my love.  Please.  Tell me what’s eating you.”

Slowly, her eyes traveled back to his face.  “I saw him.”

He wrinkled his brow.  “Whom?”

“The boy I killed,” she murmured.  Almost silently.

“He wasn’t a boy.”

“He was.  He was only a few months older than I am,” she muttered sadly.

“He was a man.  Who decided to kill his king.  He deserved the death penalty.”

“I know,” she mumbled. 

“But?” he prompted her gently.

She glanced back up into his warm, cinnamon eyes again.  “But when I saw his face, he simply looked like a lost, little boy.  One I had put into an early grave.”

He frowned down at her.  “When did you look at his face?”

She cleared her throat as her eyes slid away from his.  “I went to see him.  While you were in surgery.”

“Sook Myeongie,” he crooned tenderly.  “Why did you do that?”

“To face what I had done.”  Suddenly, her whole countenance crumpled.  “I cannot believe I nearly killed Ah Ro!  And Seon Woo!”  Grief swamped her.

“But…you did not.”

“She was innocent!” she cried out.

“And this boy was not,” he murmured, again gently.

The remorse was too much for her.  All the consequences of her actions seemed to come crashing down on her head right now.  Welling up in her heart to overwhelm her.  Silent tears began to stream down her face once more.  She ignored them.  Simply staring out the window across the room.

“Sook Myeongie.”  He hated seeing her this distressed.  But he was overjoyed to discover that she did possess the heart which he had always suspected beat beneath that lovely breast.  “Please…forgive yourself.  And become the better person whom you wish to be.”

“I don’t deserve your devotion,” she mumbled an old refrain.

And angered him.  “You can’t deserve love!” he bit out testily.  Almost…desperately.  “It is a gift, my dear.  One which I have decided to lavish upon you.”

Her eyes careened into his.  “Why?” she whispered in despair.  “Why did you decide to love me?  Unlovable creature that I am!”

“That is a lie.”

Her eyes fenced with his.

“You are quite lovable, my dear.  I can assure you of that.”

“What is it that you love about me then?” she queried stubbornly.

“The way you try to hide your despair and brave all your challenges with intense focus.”

She furrowed her brow, drawing her eyebrows down towards her nose as her lips puckered in distaste.  “Why would you love that about me?”

“Because you are determined to let nothing stop you.”  He studied her for a moment.  “That’s how I know that you will make it back to the target field.  You are not a woman to let anything stop you.”

“Sometimes, I do not think I am a woman at all,” she mumbled pitifully.

His lips quirked.  “That is another thing I love about you.”

Her eyes delved the depths of his, trying to find the answer to her question.  “What is?”

“That you are so terribly young.  You can begin again.”

“But I can’t,” she whispered as more tears filled her eyes.  “I have done what I have done, and there is no reversing it.”

“But nothing you have done can’t be undone.  You did not kill Ah Ro.  Or Seon Woo.  You didn’t destroy their love for each other.  You didn’t fail to protect your brother.  He is still here.  He is still king. 

“The only permanent damage you caused was to put a period to the man who committed treason.  Thereby saving your brother.  You kept him secure on his throne.  And that man – if he hadn’t continued to be a danger to Jin Heung – would have been sentenced to death anyway.  But maybe only after he’d done further damage to your brother or to someone else.”

“I know in my head that you speak only the truth.  But my heart believes something different.”

“Why is that, Sook Myeongie?” he prodded her tenderly.

Her eyes were again overcome by teardrops as she lifted her sorrowful gaze to his once more.  “I do not know,” she whispered.

“I think I do.”  He leaned forward and winced.

She jumped up. “Please.  Don’t discomfit yourself!”

“Come here then,” he murmured with a smile teasing his lips.  He held his free arm out towards her.

Confused, she queried, “Where?”

“To me.  Come.  Sit on my lap.”

“Your lap?” she asked, alarmed.  “I will hurt you!”

He shook his head.  “I care not.  It’s hurting me more right now being unable to hold you close.”

She simply stared at him.

“Sook Myeongie,” his voice was a tender appeal.  An instant caress.  That melted her.

She found that she didn’t have it within her to deny him.  She stood up and took a step forward.  His free hand grabbed her left one and tugged her into his lap.  She fell, ungracefully, to cover his thighs with her own.  Reflexively, she reached up to steady herself and pushed against his wounded shoulder.

He cringed, and she sprang back, nearly falling off the bed.  Only his hand quickly snaking around her waist and yanking her close to his chest stopped her from falling.

“You seem to always be falling for me,” he joked in a light whisper.

“I hurt you!” she cried out in anguish.

He shook his head again.  “’Twas my own fault.  Don’t be distressed.  I’m fine.”

She glanced down in alarm at his shoulder.  She watched, horrified, as blood began to seep through his bandage.  “You are not!  It’s bleeding again!” 

She scrambled off his lap.  “I must go find the surgeon!”

Before he could protest, she shot out the door.  Leaving him…alone.

He sighed.

What was he going to do with the sensitive girl who believed herself to be an impenetrable fortress?